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Since there were two or more men in the world they looked at each other and said to themselves: I want what he has - it always seems that certain men eat the whole cake when it comes to women, money, and dominance.
Why do some men succeed in getting what they want while others toil endlessly for pale results?
The answer we have become accustomed to is that these lucky ones are simply endowed with unique qualities that are the lot of few, and they are called "alpha males".
There are many definitions of "alpha male", but the basic term simply means: dominance.
Alpha males get what they want because they know how not to back down, and women respond to this trait with unbridled sexual attraction, while men respond with admiration mixed with jealousy, because at least to the outside observer, everything comes easily to them.
but what?
It turns out that this whole theory is not only borrowed from the animal world, but is also based on research that was disproved a long time ago:
Wolves in Chernobyl, Belarus, 2016 (Photo: Reuters)
What exactly is an alpha male?
The term "alpha male" originates from the study of wolf packs, where the alpha male is the dominant leader of the group.
This term was later adopted by popular culture to describe a dominant, aggressive and self-confident person who is seen as the leader of his social group.
The study of wolf packs was first conducted by Rudolf Schenkel, a Swiss animal behavior expert, in the 1940s.
Schenkel observed that wolves form hierarchical social structures, with the alpha male at the top of the hierarchy.
The alpha male was seen as the dominant wolf who led the pack and was responsible for making decisions.
However, more recent research has shown that this model is flawed.
Wolf packs are not hierarchical and there is no "alpha" wolf.
Instead, wolves form complex social relationships and work together as a team, and when they find their mates, they often leave and start a new pack, which they will presumably dominate, because the rest are their pups.
Despite this, the term "alpha male" continued to be used in popular culture to describe a certain type of man.
But according to outdated gender stereotypes that suggest men are naturally dominant and aggressive, while women are passive and submissive.
This perception is not only false but also harmful, as it reinforces erroneous gender roles and stereotypes.
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From then until today, this mistaken concept, which does not even exist in nature, is constantly borrowed to describe men "of old" or worse, they describe themselves that way, and do it under every fresh tree and on all the dating sites.
According to this erroneous definition, the male world is divided into two, when there are mostly alpha males, and below them all the other males, when it was customary to think that "alpha" males have more access to power, money and sex - through control.
Alphas are usually described as "real men".
Compared to the "beta" males: the weak, low-status guys, who have much less sex, feed their hunger on the leftovers left by the alpha males, or win equal women only after they make the decision to settle down with a "nice guy".
Not only does it greatly simplify masculinity, and greatly underestimates what a man can be, but it also completely misses what really attracts women, and has created a deception that has been supported for decades, a deception that mainly hurts young men and causes them to grow up complicated and lacking self-confidence for no reason, and to act in ways Predefined that don't really help to get any job, don't really attract any woman, and certainly don't help to maintain healthy and enjoyable relationships.
Swipe right, completely (Photo: Reuters)
Do women really like dominant men?
In fact, it has long been proven that "dominance" is not an attractive trait for women looking for a partner, and that dominance can take many forms.
The demanding, violent and self-centered dominant male is not considered attractive to most women, and that sensitivity and assertiveness are not opposites.
Another study indicates that the combination of kindness and decisiveness is the most attractive for women.
Across three studies, Laurie Jensen-Campbell and his colleagues found that it was not just dominance, but the interaction of dominance and prosocial behaviors and interactions that women reported as sexually attractive.
In other words, dominance only increased sexual attraction when the person was already highly rated for other qualities, which are not necessarily "masculine" at all.
Jeffrey Snyder and colleagues reported that dominance alone attracts females only in the context of male-on-male competitions.
Say javelin throwing contests where knights knock each other off their horses could still work today, but we'll have to make do with ninjas and football.
However, women do not find men who use aggressive dominance (force or the threat of force) attractive.
This mainly indicates that the male may direct his aggression towards her as well.
The distinction between the different shades of dominance, and how they interact with kindness, is not only important for understanding sexual attraction among humans.
It also has implications for the development of social class.
While the dominance track involves intimidation, threats and coercion, and feeding on vanity, antisocial behaviors, unstable relationships, low levels of conscientiousness and high levels of neuroticism and narcissism, truly high social status is associated with achievement, self-confidence, and a sense of true self-worth that enables teamwork and maintenance of allies.
Recent studies have shown that even among gorillas, status can be achieved not only through size and strength, but through social skills and the nurturing of others.
Although it is simple and tempting to think this way, dominance is not "bad" while other behaviors are "good", but the status is always context specific.
The CEO of the lottery has a high status in our society, but if he were thrown into Sing Sing prison, he would probably find himself at the bottom of the food chain - that is, a man can be an "alpha" in one group, and a cell in another group.
Dosh or Alpha? (Photo: ShutterStock)
Neither Alfa nor shoes
The basic "alpha" whose entire advantage is physical strength in the context of a difficult and dangerous environment, the dominant male is valued because he can get what he wants by threat or coercion, and provide protection to those who will submit and follow him - in a context of danger he does not need to use skills beyond force and intimidation.
But outside the barbarian society, that is, in most of human history, the dominant man is the one who can succeed in the widest variety of circumstances, through different qualities and the ability to flex and manipulate each situation according to what it requires.
Traits like strength, leadership, kindness, and morality can exist in the same person, and categories of "alpha" and "beta" only create a false dichotomy.
While dominance as it is perceived through the concept of "alpha", may be an advantage in a limited set of circumstances and a short-term method to achieve a certain goal, it is a disadvantage in most other circumstances, and its shelf life is very short.
In conclusion - no alpha, no beta and no shoes - women in general like men with self-confidence, one that gives them the freedom to achieve their goals without needing any kind of force - the ideal man in the eyes of women in the western world is a kind and comfortable man, who is able to have equal and balanced relationships with his environment, without needing relative measures (against other men) to feel a sense of security.
So men who like to call themselves "alpha males" might do well to remember that there really is no such thing.
And to the extent that the term has any meaning, it only describes the behavior of males in distress - captive, desperate, and lonely creatures.
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