Does your teen watch porn? How it affects you and what to do

The massive consumption of pornography during adolescence is a reality of which adults are —more or less— aware, whether it's okay with them or not.

It is useless to fool yourself and think that our son does not consume it: the data does not lie.

According to the latest Save the Children report, published in 2020,

seven out of ten adolescents consume pornography on a regular basis, mostly boys.

But, in addition, the age of onset is increasingly younger, currently standing at around 11 years, although there are studies that warn of the fact that in some cases they begin even at nine years, generally not due to deliberate searches.

The consequences of this reality, which have already jumped into the consultations of sexologists, are not encouraging at all.

To begin with, there is the issue of addiction explained by the psychologist and sexologist José Luis García, also author of the books

and

"The physiological, psychological, and social characteristics of adolescence, the profound and rapid changes that occur in a short space of time, make up a high-risk stage, the mother of all addictions," says the expert.

And pornography is one of the most impactful, he adds.

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The reasons for this vulnerability are several.

But probably the most important is cerebral: "Our most primary brain is especially receptive to what has to do with survival and sexual stimuli, necessary to initiate and maintain the process of sexual response throughout life."

For García, audiovisual stimuli are the most powerful, particularly in a society of screens;

they go like a shot to the brain reward center, stimulating the production of dopamine, generating intense sexual arousal and the consequent erotic gratification.

“Let's also remember that we are talking about kids with brains in the process of being built, with fewer resources to deal with stimuli as powerful as porn, which excites and gives pleasure.

The dangers of addiction

The problem of addiction goes beyond the —much— time that adolescents can spend in front of a screen watching porn;

something that, according to Professor Lluís Ballester of the University of the Balearic Islands, could be around, in 25% of adolescents, between 1,000 and 5,000 hours before turning 20 years old.

“By becoming a drug, a pattern of dependency is generated that affects the tolerance that adolescents have towards the contents.

This dependency can translate into boys and girls needing to see an ever-increasing amount of pornography to get aroused, and even in the absence of it, they don't get it," explains Rosa Navarro, sexologist and product advisor at Diversual, a store specializing in erotic toys.

García adds: “The process of exposure to porn involves a certain habituation to certain stimuli;

that is to say, they need more and more exposure time and stronger and stronger films, even illegal ones.

Sensitivity is altered and real sexual intercourse loses excitatory capacity, it is insufficient to provoke those necessary thresholds”.

porn

, that is, the one that adolescents watch because it is free, unlimited and very easily accessible, is usually violent.

How this aggressiveness can affect boys and girls can be very serious.

“There are two perverse ideas that worry me greatly and that are transmitted by pornographic videos: first, that it is very easy to have sexual relations with any woman and, second, that they all enjoy pressure, they like to be forced, they are wanting it, becoming one of them.

to give unlimited pleasure to the boy”, explains García.

Power relations and submission

This happens because, as Anel Martínez, a sexologist at Myhixel —a firm dedicated to male sexual health— affirms, the boys have no references for information: “There is no real sexual education and they use porn as an educational medium on sexuality, despite that porn is the science fiction of sexuality.”

This causes them to believe that sexual encounters are identical to what they see in the videos, which can mean for the expert that young people seek to have relationships of power and submission in a very asymmetrical way.

“The reality is that minors today have been educated in porn, their sexual education is based on it.

The implications that this has are the normalization of group sexual assaults, recordings of sexual encounters between minors and their subsequent dissemination without consent”, adds Martínez.

The also sexologist Andrés Suro adds: “The minors of now have been educated in porn, their sexual education is based on it.

The implications that this has are the normalization of group sexual assaults, recordings of sexual encounters between minors and their subsequent dissemination without consent”.

There is still another problem, Suro explains, and that is that porn “can lead to some sexual health problems such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, orgasmic disorder, among others;

also relationship problems and low self-esteem”.

This expert mentions that in fact, according to a study, prepared at the University of Belgrano in Buenos Aires (Argentina) and entitled

before the advent of the internet, “the percentage of erectile dysfunction in men under 40 was 3%;

currently, it is between 14 and 35%”.

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This is also indicated in Give it a spin, a popularization website on addiction to porn, where they refer to a decrease in interest in real sex as side effects of excessive consumption of porn;

loss of sensitivity and affections;

understand people as equivalent to products;

isolation and lack of interest in friendships;

anxiety, depression and a feeling of emptiness;

and risky sexual practices.

In this sense, all the experts consulted refer to a lack of protection.

“In this type of content, condom use is conspicuous by its absence.

This can lead one to think that it is normal not to use contraceptive methods during a sexual relationship, with the danger that this entails”, says Rosa Navarro.

What can parents do?

García is clear: fathers and mothers must educate themselves and their children from childhood.

The sooner the better: “You have to anticipate so that when they see the first images they have a radically different look at what they will find.

And not punish or prohibit.

Don't blame."

For the expert, adolescents will have to learn to make decisions aimed at taking care of their health and that of another.

García gives the example of anal penetration, practiced by adolescents: "Without pleasure, with pain, to please her boyfriend, because her friends say they do, or because the girl in porn has a great time and always enjoys it."

Since you can't put doors on the field, Rosa Navarro proposes leaving the windows open: “Guide them towards other audiovisual alternatives with a less aggressive vision, which provides them with more positive sexual roles.

There are alternatives, but sometimes as mothers and fathers it can be difficult for us to recommend erotic content material to our sons and daughters.

You have to do prior field work and try to show them alternatives that make visible the diversity and pleasure of the people who participate in these sexual practices.”

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