Come see what you missed: the truth behind the angry songs of the stars - voila! Sheee

I first noticed the trend in "Go to sleep" by Anna Zak, but since then the singers' songs have multiplied - both in Israel and abroad, which seem to have been written for one main purpose, which is self-empowerment. Which is amazing, but I didn't understand just one thing - why All of these songs are about men who didn't want/cheat/break up with them for some reason, and can that really be considered empowerment when the insecurities behind them are so transparent?

Don't get me wrong, I love all of these songs. Great lyrics - they reflect the sad truth of relationships between men and women, and it should totally be in conversation, and they are funny. On the other hand, as someone who has often said similar texts about disappointing men, I also know, unfortunately, that there is really no real power here.

There is an attempt at empowerment, a fantasy of empowerment, and a very great desire to believe in these words, which are spoken out loud as a kind of mantra - when behind them, quietly and secretly, there is still a huge gap.

We would very much like to value ourselves enough not to eat shit from anyone, certainly not from the one we sleep with, but what can we do that the more common situation, especially at young ages, is actually a battlefield where insecurity and a low sense of self-worth win 90% of the time.

The texts that the subconscious mind has been silently reciting to us for years, often more powerful and more rooted than any theoretical empowerment we have read or heard, and we have not yet really internalized at the level of experience.

Anna Zak (photo: screenshot, Instagram)

Go to sleep

Someone here remembered a little late/ something here turned out a little ugly/ one less/ it's nicer to go home alone/

it's not complicated/ just don't send me messages at night are

you awake?

Go to sleep!/ Let's go out?

in a dream/ safe?

In a million/ I'm singing all day long/ Come see what you missed,

come see, come see

, just don't ask me for forgiveness again/ Well, that's all there is, good luck/ Whatever happens, I'm not yours anymore/ Wait, what do you mean?

You have someone?

This is a song that is a great example of this gap.

The psychological logic says that the more militant the song, the greater the pain hidden behind it.

The words are very clear - a girl who tries not to tell herself the simple truth, and that there was a rejection here (which may be due to spoilage on the part of the other party, but it doesn't matter), and that her ego is wounded.

After all, anyone who is rejected by someone fantasizes on one level or another that the cure for this unpleasant feeling will come in the form of remorse and pleas from the other side, and that control over the situation will return to her.

More than that - we like to tell ourselves that when he wants, we will refuse him - which much more often than not happens, because the need to compensate yourself is greater than the ability to truly internalize and let go.

Even my sister can't stand you anymore

You won't correct my Hebrew/ You'll fake it in the car/ What a hot person you'll fan in the elevator?/ You won't steal my pillow/ You won't think that I didn't see when I went to pay you started with the waitress?!/ Don't call me whiny!/ Weak and a liar!/ Don't say that my songs don't have Nothing catchy/ You won't ever ruin my face makeup!/ Go tell your sister

that even my sister can't stand you anymore/ Go cry to your ex/ You won't get your shirt back/ Because even my sister can't stand you anymore.

Here the injury is so severe that the girl has to cancel any positive thoughts about the guy in order to whisper it.

The struggle is so difficult that she has to reject him completely.

She enumerates his worst qualities, including romantic memories of nights together rather than a negative memory of lack of a pillow.

She probably found grace in most of these qualities while she was with him, or worse - chose to ignore them - just to not be alone.

The situation is dire for the girl in this song (it doesn't matter if she's imaginary or not, as long as the women who listen sympathize), so dire that it wasn't enough for her to list all the flaws. break the rehab - hence "even my sister can't stand you".

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Living the Dream

Hey boy, what do you have to say to me/ You turn on the air conditioner even though I'm cold/ Tell me stories from Charlie's Kingdom/ What are you normal, tell me you're normal?/ Hey boy, you're not doing well/ Talking about yourself in the third person - stop in the

diary I write down and decide/ I have yoga at sunset on Saturday/ I don't have time for you in my new routine

Morning clear and clear/ Afternoons Shacht/ Glacier evening/ Islands Living the Dream I lived

without you I lived in Ramotat

The girl in this song is more advanced in her recovery process, but still not enough to let go - she still remembers him, even though time has passed and even though she hasn't been unhappy all this time.

His memory still prevents her from moving on even though everything looks good on the outside.

There's a rather sweaty effort here to be "that girl" who drinks photogenic smoothies and has sunset yoga, the one who wants to look much happier than she really is, to convey to him the message (on Instagram, yuck) "You're not important to me at all, and I'm better off without you" when in fact she is I think about him a considerable part of the time.

before the betrayal

Shakira et al. (Photo: GettyImages, James Devaney)

a lie

Sorry, I already took another plane/ Here I'm not coming back/ I don't want another disappointment/ You think so much of yourself/ And when I needed you/ You gave the worst version of you

Sorry, baby, it's been a long time since I should have kicked that cat (slang for throwing the garbage out)/ A wolf like me is not built for novices/ A wolf like me is not built for men like you/ I was bigger than you/ And that's why you're now with one just like you

it's to upset you/ Chew and swallow, swallow and chew/ I'm not coming back to you/ Even if you cry or Beg/

It's not my fault you're being criticized/ I'm just making music/ Sorry I squirted (in Spanish I squirted is "salfica" and she sings this line with an emphasis on the end of the word "fica" + an image that the noise came because of her, but it touched him and everyone is on him now)

You left my mother-in-law as a neighbor/ with the media at the door and debts (following the story in which he was accused of tax evasion)

You thought you hurt me, but you made you stronger/ Women don't cry anymore, women issue invoices/

She has the name of a good person/ But it's very clear (in Spanish "Claramenta" - emphasis on "Clara" - the name of his new partner), that she is not so good

Translation from Spanish: Tanya Garcia

Shakira's song talks about a woman who lost much more than the previous ones, and her anger is less graceful than that of the younger girls, who did not break up a family and were betrayed but just experienced a simple rejection, which does not have too many consequences for their reality.

The anger is indeed greater, and hence also the specific personal details, the blackening of the new partner, and the disqualification of the mother-in-law.

On the other hand, this also results in a more stable sense of self-worth, of a woman who already knows who she is without him and what she can do without his help, and really does not need a man for her survival.

And despite this, the very writing and publication of the song as it is, indicates the magnitude of the breach of trust, and contains a clear and direct message, without games, which makes it very clear that all bridges have been burned and there is no way back despite the love - which still exists.

You missed it, there's nothing to say (photo: screenshot, YouTube)

Miley Cyrus

We were good, we were pure gold/ Kind of a dream you can't sell/ We were right until we weren't anymore/ We built a house and watched it burn/ I didn't want to leave you/ I didn't want to lie/ I started to cry but then I remembered I

can buy myself flowers/ I can write my name In the sand/ can talk to myself for hours/ say things you don't understand (and never will)/ I can take myself to dance/ and can hold my own hand/ yes, I can love me more than you/ can love me much better/ I can love myself more, baby I

can paint my nails cherry red / Replace the roses you left behind / No sorrow, no regret / I forgive every word you said / Ugh, I didn't want to leave you, baby / I didn't want to fight / I started to cry But then I remembered me

.

Miley also wrote a song that is said to be directly addressed to her ex, and she represents the woman who was hurt just as much as the rest.

But she is already at the end of her recovery, and the processing she did to the pain indicates a higher level of personal development than the rest.

It's not that she's indifferent - she's in pain, or at least in pain, because the song is written in the past tense, a choice that also has meaning.

She writes to him only after she has already gone through a process with things, understood herself and the relationship, and above all - is no longer hating and angry.

Otherwise she wouldn't have admitted that she didn't want to leave him, but had to, because - and this is the most important thing in this song - she knows that they are both good, and doesn't need to blame anyone for the situation, but takes responsibility for her side of the matter, which allows her to say to him - I forgive for every word said.

This is a woman who freed - and the ability to truly love yourself better than anyone else - this is the strength that must be reached, and the only way to move on in truth.

• Sheee

• sex and relationship

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