The flirt 'app' for vegans and vegetarians who don't want to go out with 'carnacas': “They make me feel like I'm a problem”

The mixed message 'F*** vegans' is the tagline of the latest ad campaign for Grazer, a UK-based vegan and vegetarian-only dating app, but operational worldwide and with forecasts of having its own version in Spanish in the coming weeks, according to ICON its founder, Lewis Foster.

“I wouldn't say that I have had bad experiences dating people who eat meat, but I have experienced tense situations on mainstream dating apps, lots of debates and lots of quick dismissals.

You frequently see profiles saying 'Don't date me if you're vegan', which is quite frustrating”, says the director of the company, a vegan, he says, for 11 years.

Foster stresses that the goal of the app is not to divide or segregate, but to create a safe space in which to "unite."

“We see Grazer as a catalyst.

The goal is to connect the community.

I think we all feel a deeper connection when we meet someone who shares our values, which is why vegans have a better chance of getting along with other vegans,” she says.

According to the company's studies, 67% of the members of the

they say they would be willing to give someone “not their type” a chance as a potential partner just because they share the same lifestyle.

And the founder also points out that, since veganism and vegetarianism have a much greater following among women, the usual gender imbalance in dating apps is not replicated here: “Less than 22% of Tinder profiles are women, while , in our case, 48% are women and 2% are non-binary people”.

In this sense, the fact that Bimini,

star of the British version of

, has starred in his latest campaign is also a well-studied move.

“There is a very interesting intersection between veganism and the LGTBIQ+ community, which is reflected in Grazer.

More than 20% of its users are looking for dates with people of the same gender or both, which is very good, ”Foster tells ICON.

In an interview in the British version of

the founder of the application joked about the low incidence of veganism among heterosexual men: "There is the unusual circumstance that, in this world, their demand is very high because they are a species in danger".

Coexistence between the two worlds

Paula (who prefers to give a fictitious name, like the rest of the vegan people consulted by ICON for this article), 30, does not consider herself exclusive when choosing a partner, although she admits giving priority to

as a way of avoiding the problems that have frequently been encountered both in dating encounters and with friends.

“I am used to eating potatoes or grilled vegetables outside.

Obviously, I don't feel like dining in places where I can only choose one dish and the rest of the menu is not for me.

I recently met a guy at a bar that wasn't even vegan but Mediterranean and he complained that there wasn't enough meat!

There are people who are only comfortable if they have a three-kilo ribeye in front of them, ”she says.

For Tamara, also 30, the process of becoming a vegan was marked by a stressful social factor: “It gave me a lot of anxiety to be the one who ate differently.

For me there has been a distancing in some friendships.

I have friends who eat meat, but who like food in general, trying new things, and are okay with going vegan.

However, the carnacas [the derogatory word with which the vegan community refers to those who make meat consumption an identity], if they don't eat meat, they don't know what to eat”.

Although both currently have partners who are not

They understand that a person who follows this philosophy chooses to close off when looking for sentimental partners.

“Obviously, you are not going to ignore people you know or who are your co-workers because they are not vegan, because they can be beautiful people just the same.

But I understand that when it comes to meeting someone new, you put that filter on a dating application.

In the end, throughout the day you face many hostile situations, you are fighting and you don't want to go home to continue having the same problems or that there is nothing to eat for you”, reasons Tamara.

“Some people make you feel as if you are a problem, as if you are limiting their life or that they act as if you are attacking them for not eating meat”, considers Paula.

At the top of her personal

of unpleasant situations, she mentions a meal at her former in-laws' house, where her ex-partner's father made her eat a fake vegetable stew only to reveal to her at the end, with a laugh, that it contained lard.

“It seemed like a joke, a joke.

And my boyfriend totally apologized to her, saying that he was her father and that he had to understand her humor.”

The feeling of guilt in

when relating to other omnivores is a general trend.

Roberto, 29, is indifferent to going out with people who share his option or not (“Although kissing a person who has just eaten meat makes me a little disgusted,” he admits), both on the emotional and friendly level. .

With many "potatoes, the most basic salads and padrón peppers" involved, yes.

“In the end, if you don't adapt to the group, you end up like a party pooper who is asking people to do what they don't want to do, even though they can perfectly eat vegan food and not the other way around.

You go to Asturias and everyone wants to eat cachopo”.

Tamara believes that, in heterosexual relationships, there is also a notable gender connotation when it comes to addressing this type of negotiation.

“In the vast majority of cases, if there is someone vegan in a hetero couple, she is the woman.

That adds a lot of mental load, you are the weird one, the demanding one, the one who makes things difficult.

They treat you like you're emasculating the man!”

In any case, when it comes to vegan heterosexual men, the interviewees are not as enthusiastic or share the triumphant tone with which the founder of Grazer presents them as a bargain sale.

For them, being vegan doesn't have to automatically eliminate the dynamics of toxic masculinity.

“It is true that I know very few

heterosexuals who are vegans, but they have all switched to that diet focused on sexuality, to flirt with vegans”, says Noemí, 30 years old.

“I don't know, if you don't care if they hurt animals, don't go vegan to flirt.

Say you're open to sharing that lifestyle, period.

I'm not talking about one case, nor two.

Of course, I'm not saying it happens with all men, but there are a lot of guys who use veganism as a hook to mask other things, to make it look like they're deconstructed and sensitive, when they're not.

Careful with that!".

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