From the moment a child is born, in general, he receives a quantity of
praise
from his family that can hardly be counted.
As mothers, fathers or adults in charge, all our words will influence the development of
children
, so it is important to take into account certain guidelines.
The first, according to the specialists consulted, is to trust ourselves.
From effort to multiple intelligences
“To praise is to highlight a quality, action or merit and express it.
It can be a positive tool to increase confidence, self-esteem, feel accompanied and valued, a resource to motivate them, ”
Carla Orsini
, a pediatrician and author of
100 questions and answers on respectful parenting
(Planeta), explained to Clarín.
It is important to emphasize the journey and the effort, regardless of the result.
Photo illustration Shutterstock.
How can we do it?
According to the specialist, something fundamental is
to emphasize the journey and the effort
and ponder the process, regardless of the result.
The doctor urged to give value to emotions and accompany the praise with questions and expressions such as "it looks like you put a lot of love", "how did you feel when you did it?", "how did you do it?", "do you think easy/difficult?”, “did you enjoy it?”
or "Would you change something?"
In addition, he recommended finding the balance so that the external gaze is not a permanent condition of validation.
“This is essential so that they are not always expecting praise as a reward or seeking constant approval from another,” she said.
For her part,
Mariela Cacciola
, a perinatal psychologist specializing in parenting, stressed that it is positive to convey that there are
multiple intelligences
and that, perhaps, that child “is very intelligent or skilled for a certain thing, but not so much for another.
And that the same thing happens to the other children.”
“This opens up possibilities for them,” she said.
Mariela Cacciola, a perinatal psychologist specializing in parenting, stressed that it is positive to convey that there are multiple intelligences.
Photo illustration Shutterstock.
In addition, he pointed out the importance of
not being tied to praise or criticism
.
That flexibility, not sticking to one quality, will be beneficial to the boys.
Above all, trust
“It is important
to trust in the paternal and maternal knowledge
, in what one comes up with.
In times of so much information, being able to connect with those who are born to tell them seems super valuable to me,” Cacciola highlighted (on Instagram, @dulcecrianza).
In this context, the psychologist clarified that "all our words are going to have a weight in the development" of the boys and girls and that, due to this, it is necessary to record these possible consequences and be careful with those phrases that may hurt or locate them. in an unfortunate place.
All our words influence the development of our sons and daughters.
Photo illustration Shutterstock.
Along the same lines, Orsini mentioned that "parenting is constant learning" for the whole family.
For her, the key is to do "the best possible with love and respect every day."
“
Let's listen to our intuition
, we can be wrong and ask for forgiveness.
There is so much fear of being wrong that sometimes you think too much, ”she reflected.
Compliments about the body
The references to the body, for their part, deserve special attention.
The doctor (on Instagram, @dra.carlaorsinipediatra) explained that it is advisable to avoid highlighting and perpetuating
hegemonic models of beauty
.
On the other hand, convey to them that "beauty is not a container and is subjective to the eye of whoever looks and feels".
"In childhood, the construction of an image of a unique and 'perfect' body is gestated, the hegemonic image of beauty, wanting to fit into the system of ideal bodies and constant filters, which promotes insecurities, anxiety and eating disorders," he said. .
One message to convey is that "beauty is not a container and is subjective to the eye of whoever looks at it," said Orsini. Photo illustration Shutterstock.
Finally, the pediatrician advised addressing
bodily diversity
and talking clearly about "how our body works, how to take care of it, how to love and value it, without hiding or being afraid of not belonging."
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