Cheap or free ideas to celebrate Valentine's Day 1:08
(CNN) --
Valentine's Day is upon us, and yet it seems like there's more stress and viral particles in the air than love.
There's been ice in Texas and barely a sprinkling of snow in the Northeast (apparently Buffalo, New York took it all).
We've heard that China cares about Montana and that Madonna is getting old, which really is just a reminder that we're all getting old.
And no matter how many times we think the world's ills can be solved, it stubbornly isn't.
(Okay, some things change, but that's for another day.)
Maybe carpal tunnel syndrome is starting to affect the finger you use to swipe left, or your partner has said something that provokes you for the thousandth time.
Here's your official permission to embrace your inner Grinch this Valentine's Day.
It definitely looks more like a Valentine to sit on the couch in your underwear and eat ice cream with a fork.
There is no need to share.
Down with love, or at least commercial love, and up with laziness.
Need more evidence from last year?
The so-called tripledemia took the fun out of many people in December.
Family gatherings were down, respiratory infections gathered around the tree with Aunt Betty.
Your child has intermittent runny nose, and you know more than you ever have about the difference between RSV, the flu, and covid-19.
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We went from silent abandonment to "resentment" at work, feeling trapped by a possible economic downturn and increasing layoffs.
Red and pink heart-shaped boxes have been tickling our consumer sensibilities since December 26, and yet there's something downright terrifying about having to summon the energy to think creatively of Valentine's gifts or plans.
For many, the charm and romance have faded.
Can we let it go this year and dedicate ourselves to cheering for Flag Day?
"There are a lot of things weighing heavily on people's hearts and minds these days," says Damon L. Jacobs, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York.
"A chronic pandemic, unprecedented cold, threats to democracy, regular exposure to violent deaths in the news...all can lend themselves to a sense of unease, uncertainty and moodiness that the heat of romance cannot alleviate."
The last two Valentine's days traumatized us and then left us to languish.
We had a summer of love, but the hype outweighed the actual heat.
We are not back to normal, but we have run out of words to describe where we are.
This Valentine's Day, allow yourself to forego the pomp and circumstance of red hearts and do whatever your sullen heart desires.
The allure and romance associated with Valentine's seems to have withered a bit this year.
Credit: Muravin/iStockphoto/Getty Images
The price of flowers has gone up, and inflation is hogging our heating and restaurant bills.
No need to go out to dinner or search longingly for a tropical vacation we may never get to take.
It's a "name a cockroach after an ex" Valentine.
A Valentine to "Mock Erectile Dysfunction Ads."
A Valentine "without pressure to buy the most original gift because if not, it will not be clear that love is real."
Indulge in your inner grump this Valentine's Day.
Who cares if you're married, dating, engaged, pressured to swipe right, or treated to a liquid brunch with the girls.
You do it.
Or better yet, do nothing!
A love story that began on Valentine's Day in the Himalayas
"You're allowed to feel whatever you need to feel; remember that the festivities will end tomorrow," says Tami Zak, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Tucson, Arizona.
"If you need to hang out tonight, that's okay."
Buy a box of Russell Stover chocolates at the drugstore and eat them all yourself.
Forgo the scavenger hunt love notes that lead to an elaborate home-cooked meal followed by hour-long foot massages and give in to watching the show your better half would rather watch.
"You don't need anyone's permission to experience pleasure," Jacobs says by email.
"If you wait until you get permission, you're going to miss out on a lot. But yes, you have the right to break the 'shoulds' and create a holiday filled with kindness, gentleness, and pleasure. You're doing nothing wrong by taking care of yourself and having fun on your own."
Watch that favorite show that your partner hates.
Buy yourself a battery-powered foot massager.
Eat the rest of the Cheetos and lick every last finger, and don't feel guilty!
"There's no right or wrong way to spend Valentine's Day," says Dr. Jennifer Guttman, a clinical psychologist in New York.
"Choose a tradition that feels good to you."
If you're feeling grumpy, lonely or heartbroken, it might help to stay away from social media, according to Guttman.
"People posting on social media are going to romanticize the day, and if you're already in trouble, this will only exacerbate your frustration," Guttman explains by email.
I advise my clients not to "expose themselves to pain" by surfing social media and making up romantic movies to accompany the posts.
Instead, unplug for a night and do something nice for yourself."
How to celebrate Valentine's Day without ending up in debt?
Getting out into nature can help soothe grumps if feeling sorry for yourself isn't your thing, according to Zak.
Rodney Luster, a licensed professional counselor, educator, and researcher in Leander, Texas, offers that people can simply "lean into the now" and not try to force any particular feeling, plan, or outcome.
"Happiness is the absence of the pursuit of happiness," says Luster, quoting the ancient Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou.
Instead of building expectations around Valentine's or other big holidays, Luster recommends focusing on recognizing that every day can contain good and bad, so make it your day.
So choose a selfish, resigned Valentine and grumble (or sip ice cream) to your heart's content.
-- Allison Hope is a writer whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, Slate and other outlets.
Valentine's Day
