A thousand women and 237 reasons to have sex. There is also an attraction there, somewhere - voila! Sheee

We've all heard, and some of us have also experienced - sex, whether it's with your partner or whether it's with a new guy, without really wanting it one hundred percent.

"Reactive desire" is more common in women than "spontaneous desire", especially in long-term relationships.

Women mainly, according to the studies, have sex many times without sexual attraction at all.

I have no doubt that this happens to men as well, but this study shows that the phenomenon is more common in women.

Not that it's that surprising - it takes a little more than a few dozen women of the healing process to get out of this lecturing pattern, and go from a situation where women have no right to choose their partner for sex because no one asked them, to a situation where the choice is completely ours.

Maybe it will take a few more years.

In the meantime, this study gives us a picture of the situation, and I must say that it is quite bleak.

Betrayal (Photo: Giphy)

for consideration

Dr. Daria Maoz, one of the three authors of the book "The Art of Marriage" explains that according to a famous study by psychologists Prof. David Bass and Prof. Cindy Maston, which lasted five years and included more than a thousand women (!), it turns out that women have 237 reasons to have sex, A significant part of which are utilitarian and cold considerations, unlike men, who want sex for no particular reason.

This is why women have realized that they can "trade" sex to get something, a kind of social exchange that has been accepted for centuries, for something in return.

It can be anything from a desire for closeness, intimacy (while for men sex itself is intimacy) preventing conflicts, pleasing the partner, helping at home, partnering in raising the child, and for 10% of the women (who admitted), also because of financial considerations.

To differentiate from women who engage in prostitution to those who receive incidental financial compensation, if not in money then in equivalent (shopping, gifts, entertainment), within the good will of the man who wants sex, and this happens mainly within a relationship.

By the way, even a hidden promise of sex that is implied in the woman's behavior can give the same results, such as buying drinks, treats, travel and shopping, in some cases for a long period of time, based on an implicit promise that may not be fulfilled.

out of duty

A large part of women see sex as a "duty" that they have to fulfill within their marital relationship, especially in marriage, and not as a free choice, or as something they may want.

We've all heard women, especially older women, talk about sex as if it's a disturbing and even disgusting chore that "needs" to be done.

This is probably where the myth about the woman lying there without moving and thinking about England was born.

This is an evolutionary phenomenon - which started because the woman had to get a genetically strong man and keep him close for the purpose of protecting her and her offspring, and for some reason it stuck and remains until now.

when the conditions changed completely.

Evolutionary psychologists claim that nothing has really changed since then, and things are just dressed up with nicer words.

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Betrayal (Photo: Giphy)

so he doesn't cheat

It is true that some of the reasons men cheat are related to their sexual satisfaction within the relationship, but this is a much more negligible part than it seems.

The study also found that women use sex to keep their man satisfied and satisfied, to keep him from sidetracking and pursuing lust with other women, and to remind him of what he might lose if he breaks up with them.

In the study, 84% of the women reported that the main and most common reason why they have sex is their desire to maintain and preserve their relationship.

out of pettiness

31% of women said they had sex with a man they didn't love, just to make a man they did love jealous.

Apparently, these Hollywood stories in which she sleeps with his best friend were not created for nothing - they are based on a grim reality.

Another surprising statistic is the women's desire for revenge, which led 51% of them to have sex mainly to avenge their partner's infidelity.

Follow-up studies revealed similar findings.

Sex, it emerged from them, is seen by many women as an acceptable way of conveying messages - both positive and negative, and they use it mainly as maintenance, even if they are not satisfied with their sex (as was found for half of them).

To gain sexual experience and progress

The study also found that some women have sex just to gain experience in the field, and some out of pure curiosity (for example, the desire to see what a certain guy looks like naked, or the size of his lowered organs).

Women who have sex with a certain man only to get another man are also not rare.

After "getting" a successful man in the market, their self-worth increases in their eyes, which allows them to get an even more successful man (stronger, more prestigious, i.e. richer).

Another interesting reason found in research why women have sex is adventurousness.

Women take into account that sex may be dangerous (due to diseases and unwanted pregnancy, mainly), but their sense of adventure outweighs the fear.

Dr. Daria Maoz, Hadassah Academic College, assisted in the preparation of the article. Based on the book "The Art of Marriage" published by Kinneret-Zamora, written by Dr. Maoz, Prof. Ami Shaked and Prof. Amiram Raviv (couple therapists, researchers and lecturers on relationships) .

• Sheee

• sex and relationship

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• sex

• a relationship

• Love

• relations