The situation is worrying to say the least.
At the age of 12, nearly one in three children has already been exposed to pornographic content, recalls the government site "I protect my child".
To ban online porn for minors, a “digital certificate” of majority will be required from next September to access these platforms, the government announced on Tuesday February 7.
But is the censorship of pornographic content the solution to fight against violent, sexist or even misogynistic sexuality?
The story is not that simple, according to Erika Lust, director and producer of independent porn movies.
Since 2004, this pioneer of ethical porn, respectful of women, genders and sexualities, has campaigned instead to take sex out of taboo and to get rid of a heteronormative vision of sexuality.
One of the keys, according to her, lies in the sexual education of children and teenagers.
In 2017, Erika Lust created an educational springboard, The Porn Conversation, a platform for parents and educational staff, to help them better talk to children about sex and pornography.
Interview.
On video: clitoris, pleasure, sex education... twenty-somethings confide in a doc without taboos
Madame Figaro.-
By tightening access to porn for minors, you believe that we are in the wrong debate.
That's to say ?
Erika Lust.-
Above all, we need to change the way we look at sexuality.
Our society has always had a shameful relationship with sex.
We don't want to talk about it with the family, we don't want to see it or listen to it on social networks or in the cinema even when it comes to art, but paradoxically we still consume so much porn in secret.
The taboo reigns from school where sex education is insufficient and where sex is only approached through the prism of the biology of reproduction and the dangers it can entail.
Only without answers to their questions, young people turn to free online porn and copy the codes.
The boys are thus persuaded that they must be machines in bed, that
What should ideal sex education look like?
It should reflect the issues of current generations.
Young people want to know more about gender issues, about sexual attraction, about pleasure, about the emotional part of sex, about consent… In Sweden, where I grew up, these teachings are delivered from the youngest age and by people other than the biology teacher.
They are taught by sex educators, gynecologists, psychologists, sexologists.
Personally, I now measure the impact of this education on the way I feel.
I am more confident in my body, in my sexual and emotional life.
Read alsoFantasms, desire, orgasm... What is the impact of the "first time" on our sex life?
You and your husband launched
The Porn Conversation
, a sex education platform aimed at parents and educators.
Is pornography really a subject to discuss with the family?
I am convinced of it.
If you don't talk about it with your children, they will go to their phone, for better and especially for worse.
Parents must stop lying to each other, online and offline sexuality is an integral part of our identity and our way of life.
And if you think your son or daughter is falling through the cracks, you're probably being a little naïve.
Watching porn is not a vice reserved for bad boys and girls.
Looking at the statistics, I'd say every parent should assume their child is watching.
The latest studies show that 10% of 9-year-olds view this type of content.
It's frightening.
Hence the necessary need to undertake dialogue in the family.
How to initiate this discussion without creating discomfort on both sides?
Avoid making the moment dramatic.
It is a conversation among others.
You can take advantage of a car trip, for example, which avoids looking into the whites of your eyes.
One can tell the story of the “son of a friend” who has seen porn, ask them if they have ever heard of these sites that everyone looks at.
It also doesn't seem inappropriate to me to talk about his first experience with this content, if he marked you in any way.
If it's too difficult, we can help ourselves with a social phenomenon like
revenge porn
and send him a link to more explanatory digital resources.
Be careful, many children are closed to the evocation of sexuality.
In this case, we do not insist.
The most important thing is to let them know that we are there to listen to them without ever judging them.
Popular porn is cartoonish, created from scratch by and for middle-aged white straight men
Erika Lust
What to say to a 9 or 10 year old child who has come across violent images in a porn video?
First, I would inform him that this content is not intended for children but for adults, then I would ask him how he feels, if he was scared, etc.
I would explain to him that this film is a very exaggerated fiction which does not reflect reality and that it was shot by professional actors.
I would insist on saying that sex life is much more complex, that it takes time to access one's own pleasure, to connect with the other.
You say that it is absolutely necessary to inject other points of view into pornography... Yes,
mainstream
pornography
ignores the sexual desires of women and minorities.
By taking an interest in "Porn Studies" and in the founding works of the American professor Linda Williams, I understood that this porn, the one that both excited me and made me feel uncomfortable, was caricatural and had been created from scratch by and for middle-aged white straight men.
However, you can excite people with a feminine gaze and my films bear witness to this.
The problem with popular porn is that the producers don't want to question themselves.
These companies are part of a lobby whose interest is only financial.
They are not interested in human sexuality and its representations, they want to generate traffic so they can sell advertising.
Couldn't pornography have an interest in sex education?
As a professional in the industry, I cannot recommend anyone to watch porn online before they come of age.
When the time comes, these contents can be good or bad depending on the values they convey.
Ethical porn, on the other hand, can make a difference.
I realize this with the feedback that users give me.
Some say they have understood how their own sexuality works, how to adapt to each of their partners, how to talk about what they like or dislike.
We also learn realistic techniques to feel pleasure.
There is also less explicit so-called erotic content (prohibited for children under 16) that is very useful, like the ones I produce with Else Cinema, where we focus more on the sensual experience.
Finally,
Ethical porn can also help people who are questioning their sexual orientation, by showing them what a homosexual or even queer relationship consists of.
Even today, it remains difficult for members of the LGBTQ+ community to see their sexuality portrayed in pop culture.
But the new generations are becoming more aware of this and want to change things.
I find it beautiful and very promising.