Is it possible that about ten percent of children in the western world are the result of forced sex between partners?
This figure sounds absurd, but according to studies from the last decades, more than 10% of married women in the Western world reported that they were forced to have sex under threats or violence from their partners, and this percentage rises steeply, the more closed and traditional the society, and the more the country less developed.
According to attorney Einbar Lev, an expert in family law, who represents, among other things, women who have been victims of sexual violence by their partners - according to the law in Israel, and in all Western countries, forced sexual relations within the framework of marriage, as rape for all intents and purposes. According to her, according to
data Collected in the UK, the most common rape is rape by a husband, ex-husband or partner, and according to a 2009 study conducted in 9 countries in the European Union, 67% of all rapists were acquaintances of the rapist, and the largest group in this category was spouses or children ex couple
In traditional and non-democratic countries, the situation of women is even more difficult.
As part of a study conducted in Tajikistan, 47% of married women reported that they were forced to have sex by their husbands.
Another study found that in Turkey, 35.6% of women experienced marital rape sometimes and 16.3% often.
Only a father convicted of attempting to murder his wife, or of raping his children - will be deprived of his parental rights (Photo: ShutterStock)
"There is no reason to believe that the situation of women in Israel is better than the situation of women in the Western world," claims Adv. Lev. According to her, it is likely that in Israel, where large populations still maintain a traditional lifestyle, the percentage of women who are raped is higher compared to the West. According to Adv
. D Lev, the Israeli law does state that forced sex between partners like them is rape, but its attitude to the results of these acts, that is - the birth of unwanted children - remains dark and clearly not progressive.
This is expressed, according to her, in maintaining the rights of fathers who have been convicted of violence against their partners, as far as the fate of their shared children is concerned.
According to Adv. Lev, many women who are raped by their partners choose, for personal reasons or due to social conventions, to bring the child into the world. According to her, in Israel the law does not limit the parental rights of men, even if they have been convicted of raping their partners, and If severe violence was used against them.
"By the very fact that a rapist's father is left with his parental rights, he becomes a significant part of the rape victim's life. This is unimaginable!"
Claims Adv. Lev.
According to her, this should definitely also be said regarding spouses who divorced because of a case of violence or rape. Even in this case, a child may be born who was forced on the woman, but in Israel the law gives the rapist's father absolute authority over his fate by virtue of the guardianship law. The situation of children in
Israel exposed to the violence of their parents, made headlines following the Shira Isakov case. As you may recall, Isakov fell victim to an attempted murder by her husband, Aviad Moshe, who attacked her with a rolling pin and a knife, in front of their minor child. Shira Isakov, who was saved from murder, took an unusual and blessed step, And she was interviewed in the media without hiding her identity, thus stimulating the discourse around violence against women by their partners.
After her husband's conviction for attempted murder, Iskov encountered difficulty in vaccinating her children, due to her ex-husband's opposition from prison.
Following the coverage of the affair in the media, section 19 of the guardianship legal training law was amended.
According to the amendment to the law, "guardianship will be denied to a parent who murdered or attempted to murder a member of the family, and to a parent who raped or committed sodomy of a minor within the family. A temporary denial of guardianship will come into effect at the stage of filing the indictment, and a permanent denial - upon conviction."
"The Iskov Law: A cosmetic amendment whose effect is negligible"
According to attorney Einbar Lev, the amendment to the law, known as the 'Iskov Law', is only a cosmetic amendment, whose effect on reality in Israel is negligible, if not worse. In fact, only a father convicted of attempting to murder his wife, or By raping his children - he will be deprived of his parental rights.
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Many women who have been raped by their spouses choose, for personal reasons or due to social conventions, to have a child. (Photo: ShutterStock)
"In fact, the amendment to the law allows almost all abusive and raping husbands in Israel to continue to harm their ex-partners and their children, using draconian parental powers given to them by law," says Attorney Lev. According to her, every biological parent in Israel is protected under the Parentage and Guardianship Law. The law gives a biological
father Equal rights to the mother when it comes to the arrangements for staying with their children, and determining their fate, including deciding whether or not they will go to mental health treatment, which therapist they will be treated with, where they will be educated, whether it is better for them to get a passport and leave the country - and more. How, then, can the rights
of Rapist or violent father?
According to Adv. Lev, the only way to limit the parental rights of a violent father is to prove that he is dangerous to the child himself, mentally or physically.
For example, a sex offender convicted of harming women, including the mother of his children, is entitled to all parental rights in Israel unless it is proven that his sexual delinquency could harm his children, physically or mentally.
According to Adv. Lev, a woman who wishes to keep her children away from their dangerous father must obtain positive evidence that the father is indeed harming the child mentally or physically. In addition, she must contact medical and mental health experts, who will give their opinion that the child is indeed harmed, mentally or physically, as a result of the relationship with his father. Only after she has obtained the evidence and expert opinions, the woman will be able to file a lawsuit in court, to
reduce the father's
stay arrangements with his children, or to cancel his guardianship over them.
A few in which the father tried to murder the mother, or killed her as a result of violence or criminal negligence, or alternatively, was convicted of sexually harming his children," says Adv. Lev.
Only due to attempted murder or sexual abuse of children will the father be deprived of custody?
"Certainly! This is an absurd situation!"
Advocate Lev claims, but adds that the woman can keep the father away from his children, in two additional scenarios, beyond violence towards them.
According to her, in the event that the father has been diagnosed as suffering from a serious mental illness, which poses a high risk to those around him, it will be possible to keep him away from his children. For example, if The father suffers from schizophrenia, it is certainly possible to keep his children away from him, or force him to meet with them under close supervision - as part of a contact center.
Also, if the father, by act or omission, has shown that he is not interested in contact with his children - he can be denied the arrangements to stay with them. According to Adv. Lev, such an act can manifest itself in the father's prolonged estrangement from his minor children, or in not maintaining continuous contact with them.
Also, repeated failure to show up to pick up the children from educational institutions and activities, or exposing the children to content and situations that harm them mentally or physically - these can also testify to the father's estrangement from his children, and enable the reduction of the arrangements for staying with them.
Do you have examples of the absurdities that are created under the auspices of the law in Israel?
"Definitely," says Adv. Lev. According to her, several years ago a woman applied to the family court with a request to revoke guardianship from the father of their common child, after he was convicted and even sentenced to prison for indecent acts against the mother's younger sister. According to Adv. Lev
, The court did not accept the mother's claim, even though it was proven that there was no relationship between the father and the child during the three years that the father was in prison, and even though the prison sentence was given to him due to his conviction for indecent acts as a minor.
At the same time, the court ruled that the meetings between the father and the child will first take place at a contact center, and subject to the opinion of the welfare officer and the social workers at the contact center, will be gradually expanded, until normal living arrangements are reached.
"It is important to note," says attorney Einbar Lev, "that the reason for establishing the residence arrangements was mainly due to the severance of the relationship between the child and the father for a long period of time, and not due to the father's sexual delinquency."
According to Adv. Lev, in another case, the court did not allow arrangements for a girl to stay with her father, but only under supervision, after it was proven that the father had collected pornographic films of a pedophile nature. However, even in this case, the father's guardianship of the girl was not revoked, and so it remained In his hands is the authority to determine which school you will attend and which clinic you will be treated at, if you receive treatment at all, and that is as long as it is not life-saving treatment. Should the law
in Israel change, and if so, how?
"The situation must definitely change," says Adv. Lev.
According to her, the Iskov Law should be expanded, and applied even when continuous violence against the mother is proven.
The absurdity in Israel is that the law allows violent fathers to make the lives of their children and the lives of their ex-partners miserable, even in cases where the fathers are not at all interested in contact with their children.
"Therefore, in my opinion, even in cases of continuous separation between the parent and his children, the guardianship of the parent should be denied - and he should not be allowed to decide the fate of the children.
"It is important for me to emphasize, in my words about separation, that we are not talking about cases of parental alienation at all," asserts Adv. Lev. "Parental alienation is an ugly and very widespread phenomenon, unfortunately, in which the alienated parent actually very much wants contact with his minor children, but his children, who are affected From the instigation of the other parent, they are the ones who initiate the disconnection with him."
Cancellation of guardianship or its limitation
According to Adv. Lev, the courts in Israel overwhelmingly reject lawsuits to cancel guardianship.
According to her, there is definitely a place to deny guardianship from violent fathers.
According to her, custody restrictions are also given sparingly today, and in many cases, the father is in prison because he was convicted of severe violence against the mother, or because he raped her, and the child, who was present, or understood the circumstances of the case in retrospect, was mentally damaged by the actions.
"Even in such cases, the imprisoned father continues to decide, as an equal between equals, regarding the fate of his children - and this must stop."
According to Adv. Lev, today's law allows the father's guardianship to be limited almost exclusively in an individual and temporary manner. That is, if the child needs mental health care and the father, who does not raise the minor and has cut off contact with him, opposes it - the mother may petition the court, and convince or the judges, through expert opinions, that the treatment is needed for the child, and that if he does not receive the treatment, he may find himself in real distress. Thus, only when the court is convinced of the damage that has already been actually caused to the child - will he allow the mother to act unilaterally without the father's signature - and individually for the specific circumstances that were brought to the hearing .
"In my opinion, the standard of the test in Israel is too harsh," claims Adv. Lev. According to her, it should be allowed, in a structured and automatic manner, for women who have been proven to have suffered physical or sexual violence to a high degree from their partners, to sever their relationship with their shared children, and to decide on all matters concerning For the fate and health of the children. "Severing the relationship that is the product of a criminal act by the father, or a voluntary separation of the father from his child is enough - in order to establish such permission for the mother to decide the fate of her children alone," says Adv. Lev.
And what is happening abroad?
According to Adv. Lev, in England and France the tests are much less tough. It is enough that the father is a sex offender, not necessarily against minors, in order for him to be deprived of his parental rights by virtue of his guardianship. In England, violence against the mother will lead to a complete denial of the father's residence arrangements with his children. In some cases, these arrangements will also not be possible under supervision. "It is important to emphasize that in Israel the residence arrangements will always be maintained, if not as regular arrangements, then as arrangements under supervision through contact centers," explains Attorney Lev, adding, "Although the principle of the best interests of the child states that any A child needs two parents. But when the violent influence of the parent is negative on his children - this supreme principle must be violated."
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