Exes are a thing, every person and especially every woman in the world will testify.
There's that one that if you'd only met him 20 years later after you'd finished being stupid you could be rich ass today, the ex you miss the most his specific anatomy, no names are important, but beyond a very precise angle towards your G-spot and a set of beautiful teeth he really is It didn't help much - and all kinds of other things that you might also have had the pleasure of being their trauma.
celebration.
The ex that preoccupies the female sex the most is the mythological ex, aka the idiot (you know he's screwed over the whole brain, you have no illusions that anything there can change), and precisely this idiot, that every time you met together you had to explain that "there are things in him that you don't see on the outside" - he is precisely the one who doesn't let you down, and lives inside your head.
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Yes, that 99% doesn't happen.
Release (Photo: Reuters, Mario Anzuoni)
Why???
This unrelated person, whom you haven't seen in years, somehow manages to continue to complain about your reality.
He continues to call from time to time and send cryptic messages, and basically acts like he always has, practically reenacting the reason why you left him.
And you refuse to understand.
You are so closed off, that he is the one who feels like you are missing out.
And you know he isn't.
Everyone knows he isn't.
The man lives in his parents' basement, obviously he doesn't.
And yet - is there anyone who doesn't have one of these?
Maybe that's why there are so many articles, advice, workshops and menstrual potions, all of them dedicated to the holy grail of the dating world - the mission of getting the mythical ex back - because the combination of too much Hollywood and too few psychiatric pills has caused us to confuse love and longing with what it is. Really - a disease, something that you have to do everything to recover from.
You are not "destined" - it is simply a symptom, a mental sting, the male equivalent of sand in the eye.
Maybe this is also the reason why all the advice for getting the ex back is on the one hand so self-explanatory, because it's all nonsense - they convinced us that we should strive for happiness, mistake number one, and then sold us that there is "one".
Actually love is something much grayer than the concept we learned from romantic comedies and bad poetry.
That's probably why we're all so excited about Jen and Ben's return, and why we're all wetting our panties waiting for Brad Pitt to admit that he actually wanted Rachel all this time.
So it probably won't happen.
And as heartbreaking as it is, it's time to let go, this is how you do it:
That probably doesn't happen either.
Release 2 (Photo: Nir Pekin)
Simulate communication systems
no matter what he thinks about it and how pathetic it seems - for your own sanity and recovery, make sure you don't see him on any social media.
Anapolo, Hyde, Block - whatever you prefer, according to the severity of your situation.
It is advisable to delete all messages from WhatsApp, his phone as well.
It's not a problem to find him again, but at least make it as hard as possible.
Avoid places where you can meet him "by chance"
do yourself a favor, you know very well which places we are talking about.
Cafes he likes, the environment he lives in, the bar of his distant friends, a party with a DJ he likes or, the orchid stand in Jaffa where you met, or his parents' house in Metula - if you know there is a chance to meet him somewhere - and bet on it.
Forbid people to talk about him near you
Yes, what you hear.
Your friends are sensitive to your precarious situation - ask them not to mention him, not to ask if you've heard from him, not to give you news from his Instagram - any mention will make your heart jump and take you back.
Cut off contact with mutual friends
come on come on, don't whine.
These friends always got on your nerves anyway, you only put up with them because of him and for him, and they are an opening for unwanted messages.
The only friends you want to keep in touch with are the ones who came from you, and who are in complete spite of you - the ones from whom you can demand absolute loyalty, and know that if they meet him they will try to make him miserable in your name.
Live as if the worst case scenario has already happened
In order not to be a slave to your fears - let's say finding out that he is dating someone, or that he is just in a good mood because someone saw him smiling in a picture, our recommendation for you is to live as if the worst has already happened.
Tell yourself that he never loved you, that he is upset that he got rid of you, and that he is already fucking the whole town.
now cry
it's good for you
produce negative conditioning
Start by slapping yourself every time you think the universe is talking to you in the form of a song that reminds you of it, or a date that magically happens something related to it.
You know what I'm talking about.
No matter how hard you try not to think about it, in the end the mind does what it wants, so you have to attack it (the mind) every time it goes wild.
So tame him, like a dog.
Every time you think about your ex, you will immediately do something physical or emotional that you hate.
Squats, running around the block, or whatever worked great for any girl who bit her nails in the 80's - bitter - a bitter substance that was applied to the nails to remind the brain to forget the habit.
From our experience - a nice slice of lemon dipped in salt does the job perfectly.
Little by little you will create a Pavlovian reaction of discomfort (lemon with salt is a system collapse), and also give yourself a dose of vitamin C. win win win.
take responsibility
If there was a fight or conflict that caused the separation, let go of what he did to you, and try to understand what you did to him.
We know it requires sophisticated job-taking abilities, but we trust you.
If you seriously think about your side of the matter, many times you will find that you are just as responsible for the breakup as he is - understanding this and your inner motives, does wonders for the ability to let go.
Taking responsibility does not mean not blaming yourself - you did your best at that moment - you could not have done otherwise.
If I could - you would.
Sheee
Saxipedia
Tags
Ex
a relationship
relations
