The four traits that define highly sensitive children, who perceive the world differently

All children are sensitive.

But perhaps some parents notice that theirs is a little more so, that everything excites them, they think things over, they are excessively concerned about others and they are overwhelmed by noise, lights and strong smells.

In that range are highly sensitive children (NAS), who perceive the world differently.

This trait, marked in their temperament, makes them live and feel everything intensely, process information from the environment in a profound way and dwell on the emotions that they produce.

They have that commendable ability to enjoy every little detail, establish deep bonds and empathize.

But the B side is that, for the same reason, they can suffer more than necessary, affect them almost in the first person what happens to others and be especially perfectionists.

When 16-year-old Juan Rodríguez [not his real name] went to kindergarten, the teachers commented to his parents about "his excessive adjustment to the rules, his capacity for observation and empathy," says his mother, Rosa María Rodríguez Jiménez (54 years old, Madrid).

“He cried easily if he saw someone cry.

At lively events, he was overwhelmed by noise and people, or when a teacher loudly scolded other students, he felt uncomfortable (and still doesn't like it),” she recalls.

More information

Do highly sensitive boys and girls really exist?

Ignorance of this trait leads to many NAS being labeled as introverted, shy or

, and even misdiagnosed.

“The child may appear to be distracted and confused with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Or that it is difficult for him to be in groups in which he does not feel well, and then they say that he has an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), such as Asperger syndrome ”, he explains

Manuela Pérez, child and adolescent psychologist at the Puerta del Sur Hospital, in Cádiz, and president of PAS Spain (Association of Highly Sensitive People).

The consequences can be very harsh for the child, who will spend years thinking about something that he is not.

The trait of high sensitivity was first described by the American psychologist Elaine Aron in the 1990s.

It is important to clarify that high sensitivity is just that, a trait, it is not a psychological disorder or a disease, but one more characteristic of the personality, such as extroversion or narcissism, for example, although if it is not managed it could lead to depression, anxiety, stress and low self-esteem.

It is estimated that between 20% and 30% of the population could be PAS, whose nervous system perceives and processes more information at a cognitive, sensory and emotional level.

Your brain and your senses act like a giant antenna, picking up everything that happens, no matter how small.

“When they receive a stimulus, they perceive it the same as any child.

Then, they process it and this stage is more intense.

That's why,

the response they emit is also, ”describes Pérez.

“Highly sensitive children get more excited, think more, and act on it.”

In addition to Juan's mother, Rosa María Rodríguez Jiménez is a university professor, researcher, PhD in physical sciences and a psychologist specializing in Dance Movement Therapy.

And she is also PAS.

“A blessing”, as she says, that allows her to understand her son well.

“When I read about high sensitivity, I knew right away that several of my family had the trait,” she says.

It is not rare because it has a large genetic component.

Therefore, if a father or mother has detected it in his son, it is likely that, like his parents, they also have it.

But, it is not the same in adults (PAS) than in children (NAS).

"Adults have had more time to mix the innate component with the experiences they have lived," explains Pérez.

"We are in time to guide children in the benefit of being highly sensitive."

How to detect it?

On the PAS Spain website, parents can find the official test to find out if their child is NAS.

Based on the original by Dr. Aron, it has been adapted for the Spanish population by Manuela Pérez, Antonio Chacón and the doctoral team from the University of Seville.

Aron identified four basic pillars:

What can mothers and fathers do?

The effort is not to try to stop children with high sensitivity from feeling the way they feel, but rather for mothers and fathers to provide them with tools to enjoy, manage their emotions and protect themselves.

For example:

● Talk to him naturally.

When childhood experiences are good, NAS will take advantage of their trait for the better.

In the case of Juan, in addition to being NAS, he also has high capacities.

His mother explains that there is no special treatment for them or for being more sensitive: “Speaking openly with your son will be the best gift for him to enjoy this high emotional capacity and know what to do if he overflows.

Let's always speak respectfully and based on the fact that diversity is enriching”.

● Observe how your environment perceives you

It is common not to know how a NAS feels.

Parents are usually the ones who communicate with teachers, grandparents, the rest of the family and friends.

“Regarding emotional support, there is still a lot to be done in the educational field.

The training and resources that teachers receive in this regard are not enough”, says Rodríguez.

● Enhance your creativity.

The NAS feel with emotion the art in all its expression.

Finding artistic activities that they like to give free rein to their imagination can be a good idea.

“Since he was little, Juan was encouraged to dance, write and enjoy nature, for example.

However, his creativity can also be applied to other fields such as games, studies or social relationships, ”says this mother.

● Create a friendly environment.

"Juan, in noisy places, gets more tired and needs his quiet space, solitude and silence, so we avoid those situations," says his mother.

● Ask for help.

If there is discomfort and the parents perceive that their child feels overwhelmed, it is best to seek help from a professional specialized in high sensitivity or, at least, familiar with it: "Reading and learning from valid sources and backed by research will give you more and better tools."

You can follow Mamas & Papas on