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Five ways parents can help siblings get along better

2023-02-27T11:21:43.830Z


Siblings don't always get along, often there are even real arguments between the children. But you can prevent this with a few tricks.


Siblings don't always get along, often there are even real arguments between the children.

But you can prevent this with a few tricks.

Especially children who are close in age to each other sometimes tangle every day.

One tantrum can follow another, toys can fly through the air and hair can be pulled.

It is quite normal for parents to be overwhelmed or annoyed by these escalative situations.

If you want to do something to prevent quarrels between siblings, you can follow a few guidelines for upbringing.

Parenting: 5 ways parents can help siblings get along better

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Quarrels between siblings can quickly escalate.

© Westend61/Imago

The basis for bringing up several children is fairness and respect, both in the relationship between the parents and their child and between the children.

Of course, not every child can always be treated the same, which usually does not work simply because of the age difference.

However, this quarrel can be resolved if parents explain to their older child why they sometimes treat the younger child differently than the older one.

On the other hand, children sense very early on whether their own needs are being taken care of by their parents.

So if parents only do things with the older child from time to time, listen to and accept their worries and fears and communicate with the child as openly as possible, the child will react much more understandingly if his sibling is allowed to do something that he likes remains denied.

This creates less anger and aggression among the children.

With less anger in the stomach, it is also much easier for the children to treat each other with respect.

Should the argument then escalate, parents must ensure that physical violence such as hitting, pushing, biting or similar has educational consequences.

Parents must not let their children get away with insults or teasing.

All siblings must learn from the start that conflicts cannot be resolved in this way.

Strengthening sibling relationships: It works better as a team

Three other aspects that are helpful in raising siblings are teamwork, avoiding comparisons, and allowing creativity.

The latter refers above all to the play situations between the children: in creative play with each other, the children learn how to interact peacefully together, which is very valuable for further development together.

While these games can get pretty loud and stormy, parents should only interrupt such situations when things get too wild.

Strengthening sibling relationships: Snitching is completely normal

Through play, children also learn to work together as a team.

However, when a fight does arise, children rat on each other from time to time.

This is normal, but should always be accompanied by the parents accordingly.

Young children who are not yet in elementary school do not intentionally tell on their siblings to get them into trouble.

Parents should listen to these children and respond to their feelings, but without directly intervening in the conflict.

It then helps to make the children understand that they are a team and can find a solution together.

If older children deliberately blackmail their siblings to their parents, they should not respond too much to the snitch.

It can also help to sensitize the child to team spirit.

It also helps to agree guidelines with the children on when they should inform the parents about the sibling's behavior.

This could be, for example, if one of the siblings:

  • punched someone

  • pushed someone

  • put himself in danger

  • put others in danger

Parents can then intervene and seek a conversation with the other child.

This not only strengthens the children's communication skills, but also their ability to judge in tricky situations.

Parenting: Seven things that many children today no longer learn

Sitting still – that used to be a regular requirement at school.

It was similar when going to church or visiting grandparents.

Hibbling or swaying, always having something in your hands was seldom welcomed anywhere.

It's different today.

Studies show that exercise in between supports learning, and experts agree overall: more exercise, even outside of school, would be desirable.

That doesn't mean kids should be running around church or a fancy restaurant—when and where is still important today.

(Iconic image) © Wavebreak Media Ltd/Imago

Balancing, standing on one leg, walking backwards – preschool examinations repeatedly show that five-year-olds are having more and more problems with these tasks.

In larger cities in particular, up to 40 percent of children have motor skills that are somewhat underdeveloped.

In elementary school itself, rope or pole climbing is becoming less common in physical education because fewer and fewer children can do it.

But that's not usually a cause for concern, because a lot can be caught up at that age.

(Icon image) © Cavan Images/Imago

Do you remember how old you were when you learned to tie a bow?

A good 20 years ago, there was a competition in kindergarten to see who could do it before starting school.

Today, just half of four to five-year-olds can get dressed without help, including tying their shoes.

Some elementary schools have responded -- and ban shoelaces.

Teachers simply have better things to do than tie bows on children's shoes all day.

(Iconic image) © eyevisto/Imago

Did you know that only 23.5 percent of households owned dishwashers in 1983?

Today it is almost 72 percent.

It is therefore hardly surprising that children no longer have to help wash dishes everywhere.

Less and less support is also required when vacuuming, after all there are vacuum robots in more and more families.

Nevertheless, children can – and should – definitely help around the house.

This is even in the law (§ 1619 BGB).

To what extent is of course left to the parents, but help with setting the table or clearing it or loading the dishwasher is common, even for children from the age of three.

(Iconic image) © Valentina Barreto/Imago

Fearful boy hides under a table. Beatings, beatings, fear – the rough stick used to be widespread in the classroom.

In the GDR he (and with it the corporal punishment) was banned from school in 1949.

The rest of Germany slowly followed suit, but this type of crackdown continued in parts of Bavaria until the early 1980s.

And only since 2000 has the following law finally applied at home: “Children have a right to a non-violent upbringing.

Physical punishment, mental injuries and other degrading measures are not permitted.” (§ 1631 BGB, Para. 2) (symbolic image) © Vasily Pindyurin/Imago

A child is hiding, only the eyes and the cap can be seen. "Give your aunt a hand, child" - the saying not only sounds dusty, fortunately it is.

Since more attention is paid to children and their needs today, no one has to shake hands or kiss anyone if they don't want to.

A blessing, especially for shy children.

(Iconic image) © Pawel Opaska/Imago

Boy alone in the wintry forest.Making lunch for the siblings, being alone at home or outside: many children had to have these experiences at an early age a few decades ago.

Even if they were perhaps still too young and overwhelmed by the responsibility.

Today, parents have more time for their children or provide appropriate care and being alone comes comparatively late.

On the one hand, this is very praiseworthy and good, as accidents often happened in the past.

But it's also a bit sad on the other side, because sometimes a small section of forest offers many more opportunities for imagination and adventure than the modern playground around the corner.

(Iconic image) © Frank van Delft/Imago

Strengthen sibling relationships: Comparisons are poison

In any case, parents should avoid comparing siblings with each other.

Sentences like "Look, your sister can do it much better" should not be used, because they encourage competition among the children.

The self-esteem of the supposedly inferior child falls, and over time anger, dislike, and rejection of the other child can develop.

This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication.

In no way does it replace a visit to the doctor.

Unfortunately, our editors are not allowed to answer individual questions about clinical pictures.

List of rubrics: © Westend61/Imago

Source: merkur

All news articles on 2023-02-27

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