This is an inquiry time.
Accuracy time.
These days are complex days and the time has come to allow the truths, which were suffocated and disappearing, to float up, to be clarified and purified.
I'm also not young anymore and I don't have to carry the whole caravan to the grave.
From what can be freed - it is strongly recommended to be freed.
So here are my confessions for today.
Their recipients are many, it would have been appropriate for me to hear them directly, face to face, but my shame.
my shame
In my opinion I do it like this, here, in the hope that they will come across and know.
Dr. Shmuel, my dear love, when you force me to turn my head to the right, with the ridiculous saliva extractor stuck in the left side of my mouth, towards the screen on which the decoding of the X-ray you performed earlier is printed, remember? Then you point and say to me: "Look, here Here, it's really, really complete, the decay reaches almost to the bone tissue, right here, right here." And I look at you and say "Wala" like an idiot. Rather, I say "Wawa", because you can't say "Wala" with a tube in your mouth - I Not really stupid. I don't really understand either. I don't see anything at all in what you show me, soul. I see dull, white spots on a dark background, which do look like teeth, but I have no idea what each spot means and what the foggy layer means This minute is to the right of the tooth. And you know something, Molly? And forgive me for saying it so bluntly, yes? It seems to me that you don't understand what you see there either.
Come on, it's a quarter millimeter section that is a little, really a little, lighter and thinner than the section below it.
Is it a transplant?
About anesthesia and cuts and bone building?
On that lay down a ten?
Maybe it's just a matter of lighting?
Maybe an angle?
Wait: remember you told me to press with my finger and not move?
Well, I moved.
I also released my finger (because I was going to throw up!) and moved.
Well, what do you say now?
It's reliable, that poor blob you're building all these drills on now?
And the question is: if all this is so clear and so true, then why the hell am I telling him "yes, yes"?
Why am I pretending to understand anything he's saying?
This bewilderment increases sevenfold in a much more charged and dramatic situation, while the ultrasound rod glides over the pregnant mother's belly and both spouses stare teary-eyed at the screen full of items.
And the doctor or the technician, in a melodious voice reserved for such situations, goes on and on, and on and on: "Here is the raaaaash and this is his or her heart, we'll see soon, his! His! Here you see, really see. How beautiful!"
Four times, thank God, I was in such situations.
And I want to say in the clearest way: I saw nothing.
I saw a third of a circle, inside it were white spots that looked like clouds, I'm willing to admit that one of the clouds, the central one, was a little elliptical in shape that could, under a lot of pressure, resemble the outline of a fetus - and that's it.
Not a head (in the first few weeks, yes?), not a heart, not a hand and not least the same gender identifying item that even with a telescope could not be seen.
But I didn't say that.
no no.
I got excited and said: "Wow, wow, sure! I see, I see," and I insisted on taking with us the printout in which there was, well, a black circular space with white cloud spots on it.
It could have been the small body of my beloved fetus, it could just as easily have been the TCA of a launcher in Sajaiya that will soon be bombed in one of the Air Force videos, which, I swear to you, I have never been able to decipher: a green cross, the flickering, a mushroom Elliptical. It might even be an ultrasound.
But why go far, to the realms of rays and images?
Let's talk texts.
Have you ever had the opportunity to sit in front of the accountant when she explained a matter related to taxation or credits?
Well, everything there is progressing properly, until at a certain point the word "casting" is heard in space.
The vehicle is embodied in the gross, the gross is embodied in the net, the net is embodied in my troubles.
Does not matter.
At this point an interesting thing happens: I start shaking my head vigorously, helping her finish sentences, saying "Ahh" and "Exactly", getting excited and joining in, all this to hide the fact that I don't understand a word of what she is saying.
From the second she said "impersonation" she completely lost me, for the simple reason that I don't know what an impersonation is.
Do not know.
What to do.
I know many things, but what is acting - I don't know.
Now, it's not like I don't have the opportunity to ask.
I have, and in a big way.
The second after she says "gilom" I can simply ask: "What is a gilom?", and then she will explain to me and I will know, and this may help me save a little on paying taxes and conduct myself better.
But are you crazy?
Should I reveal to her that I don't know what acting is?
I, her most intelligent customer by far, don't know what an impersonation is?
Leave intelligent: a person who reads X-rays with such naturalness, who knows how to recognize on an ultrasound screen a blurry pancreas of a five-week-old fetus - does he not know what an embodiment is?
A heavy fear nestles in me that it's not just me.
In my opinion this is one of the best kept secrets in the world.
People - mostly men, by the way - are simply ashamed to reveal it, and I think that this text up here will open some big barrier that has been closed for a long time, and maybe, who knows, maybe thanks to this great collective truth that will emerge and rise like a mushroom, we will all be saved.
And maybe, maybe it's not a matter of lies and truth at all, but of specific abilities of different people, similar to these optical-graphic mazes in which we are supposed to find a picture or a number, and there are those who see it in half a second and there is me, who is 100 percent sure that someone is working on me?
So it's the same in the rays as well as in other fields - there are those who don't have it and there are those who simply have this ability embodied in them.
were we wrong
We will fix it!
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