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Back to normality: 5 keys to not lose eroticism as a couple after the holidays

2023-03-03T09:54:16.368Z


Returning to obligations can make eroticism fade quickly. How to keep the spark all year long.


Many return from the Coast, settle at home and are welcomed by a list of chores and chores: the kids back to school, the bills under the door, and they back to work.

The magic and eroticism that was cultivated in those weeks of rest can disappear in the blink of an eye.

Are there strategies to counteract the effects of everyday life? Can the spark and inventiveness be maintained to take care of what many sexologists call “erotic capital”?

Without a doubt, yes, with will.

Sometimes, when returning home, certain practices and couple dynamics that do not favor eroticism are automatically resumed.

There we are before one of the first signs to change those habits.

5 keys to maintain eroticism after the holidays

According to the psychiatrist and sexologist

Victoria Buteler

(MN 121.442) these are five strategies that can be implemented to maintain and continue cultivating eroticism in a couple in the face of the tedium of routine.

1. Schedule weekly meetings and appointments

It will be necessary to reserve some time alone for privacy and play.

(photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

The activity can range from a trip to the theater, a dinner, a movie or a hotel reservation, the most important thing is that it ignites the imagination of both people, promotes a rapprochement and is approached as an opportunity to return to that state of relaxation

.

of the vacations.

“One of the main mistakes that couples make regarding sexuality is not putting it on the weekly agenda, believing that it is something that is going to happen spontaneously,” warns Buteler.

If with the holidays one of the advantages was to have free time and a stimulating destination, now it will be necessary to

reserve some time alone

for privacy and play.

"Eroticism needs to be fed, like the rest of our appetites," says the specialist.

In the case of

couples with children,

the sexologist adds the following: “When there are children, it becomes even more important to schedule private spaces, taking great care to always preserve minors.

It is very important that the couple look for moments of intimacy in which the boys are not present and cannot interrupt.

“Sending the children to sleep with their grandparents or uncles or looking for someone they trust to take care of them while we have an appointment is important.

Making time, even if it's to sleep in each other's arms and in peace, can do the couple a lot of good," says Buteler (on Instagram, @unapsiquiatracononda).

2. Create codes that feed the sense of complicity

Establishing that “language” with images, gestures or keywords increases the feeling of complicity (photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Complicity is one of the great allies of eroticism and feeds our sense of play.

Who does not remember the tickling in the belly before a date or the eloquent glances that give a sense of adventure to the bond?

Dusting off those feelings is another of the strategies that Buteler proposes, even in the midst of daily obligations.

Sexting

can be very exciting,” she says.

In any case, he warns that the most important thing is to do it on devices that are handled only by adults and never by children.

In the same way, establishing that "language" with images, gestures or keywords increases

the feeling of complicity

and understanding, so necessary to give free rein to the imagination.

3. Be open to proposals and discuss them

"It is important not to inhibit the new initiatives of the other in relation to sexuality, dialogue is essential," says the specialist (photo: illustration Shutterstock)

One of the signs that prevents the eroticism of the vacation period from being maintained when returning to obligations is, according to Buteler, "that what is urgent covers what is important, many couples suffer from this."

Thus, since it is not prioritized, it is difficult for it to be strengthened.

For this reason, the psychiatrist indicates that "it is important

not to inhibit the other's new initiatives in relation to sexuality

, dialogue is essential."

It also clarifies that you can "be open to what the other wants, but also to what you don't want; our partner may not want to do what we are proposing and that is also valid."

4. Communicate what we want

Not feeling judged is essential, as the specialist points out, to break down certain stereotypes or mandates.

(photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

Getting rid of prejudices and mandates that generate false beliefs and expectations is one of the keys mentioned by the doctor and sexologist.

Not being encouraged to tell your partner what you want is one of the great difficulties in experiencing sexuality to the full.

In this case, not feeling judged is essential, as the specialist points out, to destroy certain stereotypes.

When faced with some concerns, "I always recommend that they look for good information," says Buteler, something that in her opinion has been favored by the dissemination that different professionals and colleagues carry out on social networks and platforms.

In the same way, Buteler is emphatic in

the importance that sexual education

has in the integral well-being.

The shame many women express when talking about self-exploration or masturbation is one of the myths to banish from the bedroom, she adds.

5. Agree that the most important thing is to relax and enjoy, not obsess over "the performance"

"Anxiety is one of the most important enemies of a healthy sexuality," says the doctor.

(photo: illustration Shutterstock)

"Anxiety is one of the most important enemies of healthy sexuality, it causes sexual dysfunction and discomfort," says the doctor.

In some people, that "ideal" sexual encounter is more crossed by scripted beliefs -or the myths of porn- and is considerably far from what can be done to enjoy without stress.

Just as now there is talk of coitocentrism and a reductionist view of pleasure is combated, as long as both people prioritize communication, affective responsibility and time on the agenda for intimacy, it is more likely that the impetus with which we return from vacation will remain in place. time.

look also

Curiosities about the clitoris: how to stimulate the female pleasure center

5 curiosities that you did not know about the pelvic floor

Sex in the elderly: 8 things I wish I knew when I was young

International Condom Day: 5 curiosities that perhaps you did not know about the condom

Source: clarin

All news articles on 2023-03-03

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