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I have to take care of my parents: how to receive an older adult and achieve family adaptation

2023-03-09T09:40:22.444Z


This is a crucial stage in family life. Two specialists point out what must be taken into account before taking this step.


Living with

parents

again is not a decision that is usually taken lightly nor is it easy for many.

However, faced with the loss of faculties and the increase in risks, some families reconfigure their dynamics to welcome an older adult.

Taking care of those who took care of us is an act of love that is also conditioned by routines and individual demands.

In any case, before making the decision to move, the general practitioner focused on gerontology and palliative care

Carlos Javier Muggeri

(MN 115066) told

Clarín

that "the elderly, even though their level of fragility is increasing, if they are in full use of his mental faculties,

he has the right to choose where he wants to live

”.

Many families opt for the possibility of hiring caregivers to accompany the elderly at their home.

When the person continues to live at home, situations are prevented if the adult presents a picture of cognitive deterioration and, being in another home, perceives it as a strange place.

Having a good support network and a healthy lifestyle strengthens the autonomy of the elderly.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

According to Muggeri, the very concept of "older adult" is under review.

Although in theory it starts at the age of 65, people aged 75 or over can maintain their autonomy if they lead a healthy lifestyle.

In the country, the population aged 60 and over reached

15.7% of the total population

, according to a report by the Inter-American Development Bank entitled

Aging and care for dependency in Argentina

published in 2020.

Faced with this increase and with a greater life expectancy worldwide, the doctor clarified that, more than chronological age, one of the main aspects to be evaluated is "the frailty that occurs when the elderly suffer the loss of functions ”.

For example, he says, "if the elderly person is self-sufficient and maintains an active life, performs physical, aerobic and muscular exercise, has an active social life, this process of frailty slows down."

If this is not possible, there are several factors to take into account to receive the elderly at home in the best way.

Talk at home and prepare to give a pleasant welcome

Understanding the purpose of adding the elderly to coexistence and understanding what the changes and adaptations will be is vital (Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Ricardo Iacub

, a doctor in Psychology from the UBA specializing in the psychology of old age, told this medium that one of the essential steps before carrying out the adaptation process is to be clear about "why we do it"

and

everything that it implies .

“Everyone is going to be impacted by a new relative who comes, many times, with different styles, with different forms of communication, and who, suddenly, finds that they are living in the house with the relatives, but those relatives have times different”, explained Iacub.

In the same way, reaching

a couple agreement

before receiving the older person is essential to avoid conflicts or reproaches.

The psychologist indicated that making these decisions solely for

economic reasons

without contemplating how the dynamics of the home will be modified is not recommended and can generate a more difficult coexistence in which even the elderly person who is wanted to be cared for is subjected to mistreatment or neglect.

Talking with the children and explaining to them why the grandparent comes to live at home is a way of involving them (Photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

In case there are children, the doctor recommended talking to them and "making them active participants in the situation according to their age",

answering their concerns, explaining their grandfather's limitations

and letting them know that it is up to the whole family to accompany them. it is favorable.

"Talks with the kids, telling them 'grandpa is coming to live at home and he may forget some things and we don't have to get angry if we have to repeat them to him', for example, or explain why they don't touch the pills or things grandparents, keeping them away and asking them not to have cars or toys on the floor to

prevent falls

is a way to involve them,” Muggeri said.

In this sense, Iacub also remarked: "The fact that an older adult comes often implies that someone has to

give up their spaces

, perhaps they have to share the room with another person, who is a grandson, who is young and who, no matter how many good relationship, tensions are generated about the types of order or habits”.

Faced with these tensions, mediating and having the support of family and caregivers is also crucial.

Caregivers: a key piece in insertion

An older adult can be approached not only by their doctor but also by specialized psychologists, kinesiologists, caregivers, and nurses (Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Muggeri, who teaches at the Fundación Cuidados de Salud academy, an NGO that trains caregivers;

emphasized the role played by a

multidisciplinary team of

 geriatric specialists: doctors, kinesiologists, psychologists, nurses and/or caregivers to address "the elderly and the family."

The doctor stated: “Ideally, the caregiver should have been trained in

caring for the elderly

.

People can access courses to find out how to accompany an older adult in this aging process”.

This and being able to "check not only the professional suitability, but also the ethical suitability" of the person is another precaution to take into account.

Generally, places where this training is given have a caregiver resource that can be consulted, Muggeri said.

On the other hand, the Ministry of Social Development has a National Registry of Home Caregivers

available

.

Trained home caregivers can administer first aid, but are not authorized to administer intravenous medication (Photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

In many cases, the responsibility for caregiving falls on the women in the family, one of the factors that must be evaluated.

"In gerontology we also talk about

taking care of the caregiver

, because many people in the family run away from that care, leaving the responsibility to a single person and that generates a lot of wear and tear," said the doctor.

Having caregivers who can mediate in certain situations, Iacub affirmed, is a great tool to alleviate tensions, negotiate and empathize with the elderly person. 

“IF it is difficult for a person who has some levels of disability to assume that disability, this often generates conflicts with the family because the fact that the person does not finish caring for himself properly generates more demands, this has to be a reason to be able to chat. .

But

putting ourselves in the shoes of the other and understanding that it would not be easy for any of us to be in a situation in which one loses a capacity

”.

How to adapt the space to receive an older adult

Incorporating bars and aids in the shower, near the toilet and the seats is an adaptation to prevent falls.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Muggeri stressed, for example, the importance of

conditioning the place for safety

and anticipating possible accidents or falls by making the necessary adaptations in the home according to each case.

"The older adult progressively loses functions and, at some point, it is probable that they become more dependent and, in this case, the structural or building changes intensify and what is interesting is to anticipate".

  • Make sure the lighting in the house is adequate.

  • Make sure there is a railing on the stairs.

  • Eliminate the use of carpets or mats or slippery and slippery surfaces.

Slippery surfaces, carpets, and the use of slippery shoes (such as slippers) that do not provide support when walking should be avoided.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

  • Install some aid or bar to sit down and get up when using the toilet.

  • Install aids or railings near chairs or seats so that the older adult can hold on, get up and sit down more easily.

  • If the use of a walker at home is necessary so that the adult can continue to move independently, consider clear spaces for them to do so.

Muggeri stressed that injuries or fractures caused by a fall in older adults can be extremely serious.

"Of the elderly people who fall and spend an hour on the floor without anyone helping them, half die as a result of that fall."

In summary, despite the great challenges and complexities, Iacub pointed out: “To help is to understand one thing: each one of the members of the couple that is doing this with their own parents, to some extent, is teaching gratitude to their children. ”.

look also

Older adults and digital literacy: when technology empowers

Generations: who are the millennials, centennials, generation X, baby boomers and the "silent"

Why you don't have to say "grandparents" to older people

Source: clarin

All news articles on 2023-03-09

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