No dates, no sex, no wedding, no children: Korean women who stand up to Asian machismo

A group of South Korean women in traditional dress visit Gyeongbokgung Palace in Seoul on July 1.ANTHONY WALLACE (AFP/Getty Images)

Many South Koreans are so fed up with machismo that in recent years they have taken a radical stance: refusing to marry, date men, have sex and reproduce.

This is a movement known as "the four no's" that hatched in 2019 and has spread in the hope that the conservative government of Yoon Suk-yeol will adopt measures that promote gender equality.

Despite the solid academic training of women in South Korea, according to a Statista study, the gender gap is scandalous: men's salaries are 30% higher.

The

points out that South Korea has been, for 26 years, the OECD country with the largest gender gap.

Added to this is a poor work-life balance and a disparity in the distribution of domestic tasks, which makes women also assume responsibility for raising children, which pushes them to have to choose between working or being mothers.

In South Korea, the working day is 52 hours per week.

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The four no's is a desperate cry considering that the South Korean president began his term with the intention of abolishing the Ministry of Equality.

Going from complaint to action, the repercussions of the so-called "birth strike" are being severe for South Korea.

For three consecutive years it has positioned itself as the country with the lowest fertility rate in the world, with an average of 0.78 children —Spain, with an average of 1.3, ranks eleventh in the world and second in the Union European—

"Life is not going well for many young people, for whom getting married or having children is not natural," he told

Lee Sang-lim, a demographer at the Korea Institute of Health and Social Affairs.

The country is on alert since an average of 2.1 children are estimated to be necessary to keep the population stable.

In 2020, South Koreans reached what is known as "death crossing," when the number of deaths exceeded the number of births.

Many cities are at risk of disappearing in the coming years.

The South Korean writer Hawon Jung, author of the book

on the feminist movement in South Korea —without translating into Spanish—, explains by e-mail that what led to this movement are the government policies of a country that she considers very conservative.

“Single mothers are stigmatized, doctors refuse to perform

to women without a male partner, even if it is not illegal, and out-of-wedlock births account for just 2% of the total, compared to the OECD average of 41%.

Marriage and childbirth are closely intertwined and women are pressured to sacrifice their career once they have a child or get married.

Jung believes that the origin of the problem lies in the role of women since Confucianism, the prevailing ideology before the reform in the 20th century: role of submissive daughter, chaste wife and self-sacrificing mother.

Beliefs that have been maintained due to a militarized society where the concept of aggressive masculinity has predominated throughout history.

From the Korean War (1950-1953), going through the dictatorship and the continuous confrontation with North Korea.

According to Jung, "Countries where parents are more cooperative and have good family policies, like Sweden, or that recognize the diversity of couples, like France, have been more successful in stabilizing or even increasing their birth rates." .

The movement of the four no's reflects the radicalization of a frustration that has made women even prefer to give up sex.

According to Jung, “young women consider it not worth investing their time and energy in having affairs with men,” as they find it exhausting trying to find one who does not follow patriarchal norms.

The feminist movements are being very effective in the country, achieving historical milestones such as, for example, the decriminalization of abortion in 2021 or the beginning of a change in the female beauty canon.

The Escape the Corset trend rejects the rigid South Korean stereotypes associated with women, such as having long hair or following the

concept , which imposes on young women the obligation to have porcelain skin, wear the perfect makeup and undergo surgery. plastic.

It is increasingly common to see South Koreans with short hair or who dare to wear glasses instead of contact lenses, which has been a real revolution.

Men, step up

But there is still a long way to go in a country where gender violence does not always lead to a complaint or divorce.

According to a survey published by the Korean Institute of Criminology and Justice, 8 out of 10 men admitted to having been violent towards their partner.

Jennifer Jung-Kim, a professor of Korean history at the University of California (UCLA), notes by

that, in order to solve the problems derived from the gender gap in South Korea, gender-based violence must be recognized and prosecuted as such.

“When it comes to government and corporate, laws and policies must prohibit discrimination and guarantee equal pay and opportunities for women, especially working mothers.

Socially, there needs to be a greater support system for working parents so that either parent can take days off if a child is sick or to attend a school meeting or event.

Single parents, whether male or female, should not be stigmatized, regardless of whether they are adoptive or biological parents,” she explains.

For Jung-Kim the most important thing is an internal change on the part of men:

Judy Han, professor and vice chair of Undergraduate Affairs in the Department of Gender Studies at UCLA, points out by

that the movement of the four no's invites to rebuild society.

“Could we imagine a world where women do not have to shoulder the full burden of reproductive and domestic work without being degraded or exploited?

Where could they have marriage equality without throwing away their professional career?

Could women imagine a world without abuse, rape and violence?” she wonders.

It is an approach that could work in so many other democratic countries where gender inequality affects birth rates.

Faced with an apparently unbeatable patriarchal system, more and more women around the world are choosing to give up having children because they cannot reconcile their personal and professional lives.

It is a problem that appeals directly to governments and whose consequences shape an entire society.

According to Judy Han, "anyone, men and women, straight,

, cisgender and transgender, would benefit from taking these criticisms seriously and creating a more just society."

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