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Parenting: four fundamental skills for improvement that we must cultivate in children

2023-03-24T10:05:06.383Z


Education specialist Laura Lewin explained to Clarín why always protecting children from challenges can be counterproductive and what to do in those cases.


What loving mother or father would not want to spare their sons and daughters the vicissitudes and adversities that life presents?

'That you don't have to go through what I went through' is a phrase that was repeated in many homes and, in favor of the greatest possible well-being, prompts many parents to make all kinds of sacrifices to “give the best” to the children.

But that and other incalculable signs of love are not enough to avoid the setbacks and problems that will naturally arise in the lives of sons and daughters.

For this reason, the Education specialist

Laura Lewin

proposed another approach:

one that does not distance children from challenges

, one that teaches them in a practical way to overcome them and train themselves in the task of overcoming obstacles.

In dialogue with

Clarín

, Lewin proposed: "What if, instead of trying to protect them from challenges, we taught them to face them effectively? What if we taught them to turn challenges into great lessons?"

Learning to ride a bike, play an instrument, solve a mathematical problem, are all challenges in which we can accompany children from an early age.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

For the specialist, beyond the nature of a difficult event, a key strategy consists of tackling challenges as something that, “regardless of their size or shape”, are great opportunities for learning and growth.

Like so many other maternity or paternity responsibilities, it is not an easy task, the expert agreed, since it

requires patience, dedication and a positive attitude

.

However, Lewin points out that having acquired that courage and drive in the face of a difficult circumstance is an invaluable skill for the individual.

The four fundamental skills that we can teach boys to overcome challenges

One of the main concerns of mothers and fathers is learning how to

prepare children for life

 with all its ups and downs.

Lewin, author of the book

Strong and happy, the manual that you were not given when you had children

, pointed to four essential skills and affirmed that actively transmitting them to children through words and actions is "quite a task for mothers and fathers."

1. Resilience

Helping kids identify and appreciate their strengths helps them cultivate resilience (Photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

“The first skill that our children need to develop is resilience,” said the expert.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back quickly from adversity.

When our children are faced with a challenge, they can feel overwhelmed and discouraged.

As parents, we must help them find the strength to overcome adversity and move on."

How can we cultivate this ability in them?

“We can teach them to look on the bright side of things, to

focus on their strengths

and to find creative solutions,” Lewin said.

2. Perseverance

Applauding their perseverance to overcome inconveniences and obstacles is key.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Persisting despite difficulties is a skill that not only fosters discipline, but also improves an individual's perception of himself when he notices that, little by little, there has been an improvement that brings him closer to his goals.

“When our children are faced with a challenge, they may be tempted to give up.

We must encourage them to keep going and help them find the motivation to continue,” suggested Lewin.

The TEDx speaker clarified that the lessons should be based on the idea of ​​“

setting achievable goals

” and that part of the teaching is “celebrating your achievements and learning from your mistakes”.

3. The ability to adapt

Fostering creativity and ingenuity in the face of the unforeseen is a fundamental skill.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

In an increasingly fast-paced world, change is the rule.

“Our children need to develop adaptability, the ability to adjust to new situations,” Lewin said.

Who has not felt confusion or bewilderment when an unforeseen event occurs and we are going through a challenging circumstance?

To help children manage it, it is important to motivate them to

find the flexibility and creativity

necessary to adapt to new situations.

"We can teach them to be open and receptive to new ideas and perspectives, and to be willing to try new things," said the specialist.

4. Self-confidence

Nurturing kids' confidence and promoting their self-esteem will help them in every activity they undertake.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Lewin rounded out the concept that many mention: self-confidence, or "the belief in one's own ability to succeed."

As the basis of the other three skills, when we instill in children the confidence that they will be able to achieve the objectives, perseverance, flexibility and resilience go hand in hand.

Although it can be intimidating and there is a fear of failure, reinforcing in children the idea that “you can” and that mistakes are a lesson and not something to be ashamed of is a powerful strategy.

The specialist explains that, as it is natural for children to doubt their abilities to finish a task, "it will be important to help them find the necessary confidence in themselves."

Teaching kids that mistakes are part of life is essential.

(Photo: illustration Shutterstock)

Childhood is the time in life in which children must learn to make mistakes

and learn from mistakes.

Otherwise, they will be adults without perseverance and they will not believe in their abilities and their abilities to succeed”, he maintained.

Children need to have the necessary confidence in their possibilities.

And that confidence comes from the perception they have of themselves.

Mothers and fathers: guardians of self-esteem

“It is important for children to be clear that we will always be with them, that we will always love them,” Lewin said. (Photo: Illustration Shutterstock)

Lewin highlighted the irreplaceable role that mothers and fathers play in the lives of children and the construction of their self-perception as valuable and capable individuals.

“We need to convey to the boys how much they are worth.

Let them know, feel and believe that they are valuable.

As adults, we are guardians of their self-esteem

, ”he stated.

For the specialist, the basis of a secure, independent personality with high self-esteem capable of withstanding and overcoming obstacles in childhood is consolidated when the children know that they are accompanied.

“It is important that children know that we will always be with them, that we will always love them and care about them, even if sometimes we don't like what they are doing,” she added.

In this sense, Lewin insisted that "the best way to accompany them is to know that when they make mistakes it is a learning opportunity for them."

In fact, he warned that adults can take the lead and, instead of "getting frustrated at the same time as their mistakes," we can "accompany them to get out of their mistakes."

Thus, as "guardians of their self-esteem", the specialist encouraged mothers and fathers to help children develop these skills, considering that it is "the most important gift we can give them.

A failure can be the beginning of something wonderful”.

Laura Lewin, trainer and education specialist, advised.

She is a TEDx speaker and has written numerous books, including "Strong and Happy, the manual you weren't given when you had kids" (Bonum Publishing).

On Instagram, @lauralewinonline.

look too

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Why children's songs are essential for children's development

Back to school: 12 keys to accompany and promote autonomy in children

Source: clarin

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