Noémie Halioua is a journalist, former editor-in-chief and correspondent in Paris for the I24 News channel. She co-wrote
Le Nouvel Antisémitisme en France
(ed. Albin Michel, 2018), wrote
The Sarah Halimi Affair
(ed. du Cerf, 2018) and has just published
r Les uns contre les autres - Sarcelles, du vivre-ensemble au vivre -separated
(ed. of the Cerf).
Dear Ovid,
Your latest book is important: it marvelously recounts the anti-masculine fury of the present times.
In 150 pages of rage, you write with undeniable talent all the reasons that led you to hate the stronger sex.
The boorishness of someone who takes advantage of the female body without loving, the selfishness of these poor lovers, this husband who betrayed you with a nymph half his age.
“I finally understand to what extent I was a prisoner of a Stockholm syndrome, on a large scale, of a senseless world where one cannot help but desire the oppressor and remain eternally subordinate to him”,
confide- YOU.
You regret having played the game of seduction like a model student, having paid
"the equivalent of a minimum wage"
to refine your silhouette and to have collected in return only cruelty and contempt.
Alas, the flesh is sad
title of this book published by Julliard, which paraphrases a verse by Stéphane Mallarmé and judiciously reflects its bitterness.
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Your confession is frank and without appeal: as some stop drinking, you have been on
a “sex strike with men”
for four years.
It's been four years since you gave up sharing the intimacy of a male, a way for you to revolt against
"millennia of male domination and self-centered lovers"
.
Apart from a few deviations deemed reasonable, you devote yourself exclusively to solitary pleasure and to feminine experiences that give you pleasure without causing pain.
"Their desire does not attack me, where that of men ended up disgusting me"
, you confide.
If in the foreword you affirm that your booklet is not a manifesto, you insist loud and clear on the urgency of
"detoxify from heterosexuality"
and you are delighted to see a fundamental movement in it.
For you, this is the beginning of a new era where women are freeing themselves from the male yoke to finally be self-sufficient and tend towards pure and perfect freedom.
"This multitude of women who simultaneously decide to go on leave or to become lesbians, no one will make me believe that it is not a civilizational rupture that is in progress"
, assert yourself.
And you're not wrong: the daily calls for hatred between the sexes are beginning to bear fruit, they accompany a boom in celibacy (which is happily called "celibacy-boom") and a drop in the birth rate (which is happily called "baby-crash").
You should be delighted because it is not impossible that one day the man and the woman will definitely turn away from each other, by dint of learning mutual hatred.
You lash out, sexually, against those who put themselves at the service of their own pleasure, but what about those who must submit to the cult of performance, terrified at the idea of not being up to it? ?
Noemie Halioua
Of course, your testimony reveals a kernel of truth.
The boorishness of some is not to be proven and there is no reason to take tweezers to denounce them.
The woman that I am has not escaped this brutality that you describe and cannot prove you entirely wrong.
In the wake of the publication of your book, 20 minutes collected the testimony of dozens of disappointed lovers who, like you, have given up on men after having suffered beyond measure.
Not to hear these cries would be inhumanity.
Should we take the part for the whole and sink into this systematic generalization specific to this outrageous feminism that you join?
This reading of the relationship between the sexes does not bother with any nuance: the
“man” is a potential executioner and woman an age-old victim.
Your reading of the world ignores male grief and female terror: they are wiped off the symbolic map of relationships.
You remain deaf to the sexual and affective misery that affects the other sex and which nevertheless remains a reality as factual as it is tangible, infinitely taboo.
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Why should the other sex be an otherness to which it would be forbidden to reach out?
You lash out, sexually, against those who put themselves at the service of their own pleasure, but what about those who must submit to the cult of performance, terrified at the idea of not being up to it? , to be dumped like dung or placed among the "bad guys"?
Houellebecquian literature is full of these big boys crushed by the market of seduction and love, who sink into frustration and loneliness after understanding their limits in this area.
What about those who try to do what they can in a world that condemns them before they even speak?
Of those nice awkward people who give their last shirt for their family,
bleed as best they can for the woman they love?
Do they all deserve the same treatment just for being born with a growth in their pants?
It's hard to believe that you've hardly ever met them like you say, but it's very likely that you've chosen to keep them invisible.
If you loved a man one day, you will love others tomorrow, life is like that.
And believe me, no one will blame you.
Noemie Halioua
You choose to exclude half of humanity from your field of possibilities in the name of a handful of slobs, it's what we call using bad experiences to accuse life.
A shortcoming that is traditionally schematized by throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
In the name of a succession of fiascos, you allow yourself to be won over by sad passions and disenchantment, sink into resentment and bitterness, the spirit of revenge, make it a real policy of renunciation to the point of calling for institute for all.
This obvious lack of resilience makes you go from libertine icon to representative of mother morality.
Yesterday you proudly assumed your steps in the pornography industry, today you are jealous of the nuns,
not for their conviction in prayer, but for their renunciation of men, embodying without you realizing it, this shift from bigotry from the conservative current to the progressive movement.
This secure conception of love, which manifests itself in the refusal of risk, has everything to do with the behavior of those who prefer to renounce the heat of the fire than to touch the possibility of being burned a second time.
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Dear Ovidie, allow me to bet with you and call readers to witness: you will end up breaking this contract that you signed with yourself.
"By writing this book, it is obvious that I seal my destiny forever, that I sign in blood my final exit from heterosexuality"
, judge yourself in the last pages.
Nay.
All the intellectual offensive of the world that you will carry out cannot sterilize this deep and holy desire which has animated you up to now.
One does not deny one's nature by giving moral lessons to oneself.
If you loved a man one day, you will love others tomorrow, life is like that.
And believe me, no one will blame you.