By Danielle Campoamor - TODAY
One of Kimberly Garcia's most prized possessions is a simple work of art: eight ice cream sticks taped to a ribbon and adorned with scribbles and children's handwriting.
Her daughter, 10-year-old Amerie Jo Garza, gave it to her last year wrapped in a brown ribbon.
"He apologized," Garcia says, "he said, 'I'm sorry mommy, I had to wrap it in brown because there wasn't much tape left.'" She told her daughter she was fine and unwrapped the handmade gift.
At the top, the girl wrote on two ice cream sticks "five things I love about my mother." It was followed by a list of her favorite traits, written with the grammar of a fourth-grader who had not yet mastered the sometimes confusing rules of the language.
- You're pretty
- Your freckles
- Your smile
- Your courage
- You comfort me
The last gift Kimberly Garcia received from her daughter, Amerie Jo Garza. Courtesy Kimberly Garcia / TODAY
That last feeling surprised Garcia. "She's a very smart girl, because it's such a big word," she says, "so I asked her, 'What does this mean to you?'
Her daughter explained: "When I'm sad you hug me; When I'm scared you are there for me and I feel safe with you. You always protect me."
It was the last Mother's Day gift she would receive from her daughter.
Amerie was one of 19 fourth-graders killed along with two of their teachers on May 24 at Robb Elementary School, just 16 days after Mother's Day.
Garcia now has tattooed on his forearm the phrase "You console me" with his daughter's handwriting, and "I will always love you Amerie."
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The first Mother's Day without Amerie
This May 14 marks the first Mother's Day since the shooting. Garcia and her partner, Angel Garza, dreaded this date, as they struggled to find a way to honor her not only as Amerie's mother, but also to her other child, 4-year-old Zayne Garza.
"I don't even know if I'm going to do anything on Mother's Day," Garcia says, "I think about what we did before and it brings me so many emotions. I can't have a plan for that day: it's too hard."
Amerie Jo Garza, 10. She loved art, taking care of her brother and the color lavender. Courtesy of Kimberly Garcia / TODAY
It will also be difficult for Garza. They met when Amerie was 7 months old and he raised her as his daughter.
"It's really hard trying to give him some happiness when I know I can't give him what he really wants," Garza says, "at the same time, I know we have my son and I want him to know that Mother's Day is about loving his mom and doing something special for her."
"It devastates me that temporary happiness is really all I can give it," she adds, "if we go somewhere and see families together, it brings it down."
[The perpetrator of the Uvalde shooting wrote "LOL" on the blackboard with the blood of the victims]
With no plan for Mother's Day, the couple say they will try to do the same thing they have tried since Amerie was killed: trust each other.
Some days, Garza says, there's nothing they can do to help each other, but most support each other. "We really understand each other."
She is still his mother
Garcia knows for sure that there is something he will do on Mother's Day: visit Amerie's grave. A ritual she has done every day since May 31, 2022, the day she was buried.
Kimberly Garcia and her daughter, Amerie Garza.Courtesy Kimberly Garcia / TODAY
"People don't really believe me, but I really go to see her every day," she says, "if I'm out of town I always tell my mother, my mother-in-law or her aunts to go see her for me. If I can't do it myself, I make sure someone else does it."
Garcia says he feels closer to his daughter when she's at her grave and visits her when she's especially sad, even if it's just 30 minutes to greet her, read to her or drop off her favorite Starbucks order, a vanilla frappuccino.
[Victims of Uvalde school massacre remembered with offerings and altars on Day of the Dead]
He also does it to make sure that the lights work, the grass is watered and the balloons that adorn his grave are not lost, especially if it has rained or there is wind.
Even dead, Garcia remains the mother of her daughter.
"Sometimes I think I'm crazy when I say, 'Go see her,'" she says. "For me it's natural. That's how I deal with grief. As his mother, I always have to make sure he's okay," she adds.
"I still have two children that I have to take care of," she adds, "no matter what."
Kimberly Garcia and her partner Angel Garza, pictured with their children, Amerie and Zayne. Courtesy of Kimberly Garcia / TODAY
Amerie would have turned 11 on May 10. She was "sweet, daring" and a fierce protector of her little brother, Zayne, her mother says.
She loved art and the color lavender, never missing an opportunity to clarify that "it was lavender, not purple."
"She was a sweet, kind soul, she didn't have an ounce of evil," Garcia says, "she was also very outspoken. He told you what he felt, but in the kindest way."
Garcia cries when asked what gift she would like for Mother's Day. "I only want her," she laments, "that's all a mother wants: for her children to be safe."