"When my heart broke, I decided - no man deserves to go to bed with me" - voila! Sheee

You may not have expected a woman with an active account on Unlippanz to declare abstinence, but that's exactly what she declared to Nilyn Ashley, after what she calls a "terrible breakup" — and said that "no man" deserves to go to bed with her if he's not ready to get to know her first.

Compared to her network situation - 2.5 million followers on Instagram and many more subscribers who make her a lot of money on Unlippanz, her personal romantic life works much less well, and yields much less return. The Florida star made that decision to change her life when her boyfriend decided he didn't want to start a family with her — and broke up with her after she had an abortion.

"I was four months pregnant with a baby," said Ashley, who is the mother of an 11- and 15-year-old boy.

The combination of this heartbreaking loss and her ex's inability to "live his truth," which amounted to him hiding from her that he actually didn't want a family, spurred Ashley to make a change in her life because, according to her, "the pleasure and euphoria I once got from sex is gone," even though she has a high sex drive, and anticipates that it will be difficult for her to abstain from sex for long.

Ashley the nun star of Unlippans (Photo: screenshot, Instagram)

On the other hand, she is still determined not to break it - "I'm afraid of people who just want to use me for sex and will never know me as a person, or my heart," she admitted, "I believe energies are transmitted through sex, and over the last few years, sex has made me feel empty afterwards," she continued. "Unsatisfied, unloved... I felt like a rag doll."

The Instagram model also said that her break from sex also helped her identify and diagnose her sex addiction. "It was hard for me from home because I had to masturbate for sexual release several times a day. If not, I just couldn't function. It felt like a cigarette I had to smoke, get my dose."

"It comes along with the attention I tried to get from men all the time," she continued. "The sexting, the pictures back and forth, the dopamine doses I got from this preoccupation and persecution."

Ashley decided that she needed to spend more time focusing on herself and finding a meaningful relationship right now than trying to meet a new man: "It's hard for me to date right now, because I tell everyone who is interested in me right away that I'm abstinent, but when we meet, it always ends up with them wanting more," she admitted.

"They're trying to convince me that my abstinence journey will end with them, because I can't help myself but I'm a Leo, and if there's one thing to say about lions, it's that we're tough."

Although it's hard for her not to be tempted and stray, Ashley loves her new approach to sex "Sometimes I feel like I want to give in, because that's what I'm used to doing, but the upside is that I don't have to feel like I'm a chore for these men who don't care about me," she reflected.

"At that point, I could have remained a nun forever," says the mother-of-two. "But who knows—it's a new journey for me, and in the meantime I love it more than I love sex."

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• sex
• Relationship
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• women