Cabaret artist Alfred Mittermeier © Makli2013
Once a month, the Dorfen cabaret artist Alfred Mittermeier takes a satirical look back at city life in Dorfen.
The building committee has decided: The façade of the town hall will remain naked like Eve once did in paradise. No clock, no coat of arms, no geraniums, nothing! Only the lettering "Rathaus" is placed above the entrance so that the box is not confused with the office headquarters of an insurance company. After all, a fig leaf. A watch would have been desirable. But not a cuckoo clock! We would certainly be ridiculed: "Now it's official: The people of Dorfen have a bird!" As is well known, the clocks run differently here. Why don't we put up a countdown that counts down the time every year until the next Nonsensical Thursday? In addition, the façade can be equipped with a variable text field in which the current situation or mood in the city is described in large letters. Until the completion of the B15 bridge, it is written: "Whom God has rejected, he sends to Dorfen". After that (from 2025) it says: "On the 8th day God spoke the word: Dorfen is the most beautiful place!" If there was nothing for you, dear readers, there is another possibility: We paint the old town hall façade on top of the new façade.
Speaking of readers! I ask you to be careful not to read too loudly when reading. Otherwise, there may be problems with local residents. In Dorfen, too, the rule applies: new residents have a more sensitive hearing than old residents. This in itself is not a problem. But the question must be allowed: Why do people who are noisy move to the vicinity of an open-air swimming pool that has been there since 1964?
We are certainly not an isolated case here. There are umpteen beer gardens, sports facilities, nightclubs, children's playgrounds that are endangered because new neighbors are fighting for their right to rest. That may be legally clean. Of course, it is not legal. A person who changes his place of residence should be able to examine in advance not only the wooden ceiling of his living room, but also the environment to which he intends to move.
In this context, I remember a phone call I made about 30 years ago when I was working in a property management company in Dorfen. The caller had just moved into an apartment on Buchbacher Straße. He was furious because the swimming pool was so "unbearably noisy". The question he asked me: "What can be done about it?" My answer: "Move away!"
It will be interesting in the next few weeks if Faust does not manage to find the meaning of life before midnight. Residents with understanding will say: "I can stand the eight performances!" Residents without understanding open the window and counter it with AC/DC from the stereo system. This, in turn, would be too loud for Faust.