A 36-year-old virgin has revealed how her honesty drives men away from her. Sonali Chandra, who claims to wait with sex until after marriage, says dating was difficult for her because of her unique views on intimacy and sexual contact. The dancer and comedian, from New York, USA, says that her lack of experience in the bedroom is a deal-breaker for more than a few guys. She grew up "conservatively," she says, and therefore sees sexual intimacy as "sacred and special," and her traditional values often cause men to leave her when they find out.
There's nothing to apologize for, and no reason. Everything happens in a closed
circuit Beware of guilt - it will ruin your relationship One Who Knows: Here's How to Write Your First Chick Lit, Step by Step Sonali says she was 26 when she first told the guy about her virginity status and her plans for their future: "The guy who was my first kiss, my first relationship
Was shocked. His jaw dropped and he asked if I was going to be a virgin forever. And I'm like, 'Listen bro, I need a ring, you know?' He left me after six months on my birthday." Unfortunately for Sonali, he wasn't the only man who ran away from her for that reason.
She said it happened with two other guys she was "serious" about. They turned their backs on her after finding out they wouldn't "close the deal" until after marriage, adding: "They also went when they found out they couldn't have sex with me before marriage. It pinches the heart. Sze makes me think that men just think I'm only good for sex."
Sonali continues: "Men asked if I was straight, said I was asexual or I was probably a lesbian. And the truth is, I'm a perfectly normal heterosexual female, I just have values and morals and I see sex as a sacred and special event."
In addition to her rigorous upbringing, which had a profound impact on her love life, Sonali also claims that sex outside marriage scares her regardless.
She admits: "Getting pregnant accidentally, for example, worries me a lot. It's so easy for men. It's getting in and out. For us women, it's a complex and long process. Besides, there are so many health problems, STDs, infections – and quitting sex right now means I don't have to deal with all these things."
Meanwhile, Sonali had little luck in the romantic realm, and after she made her personal problems public, men began to approach her regularly in order to sweep her away: "Now that they know I'm a virgin, I'm something they want to conquer. I have personality and feelings, and I want the man who lives to want me with all of that. Not just because I'm a virgin."
And Sonali asks them to stop pressuring her to "just do it" and says society needs to respect people for their choices, no matter how unusual "you have to normalize dating without having sex — there's nothing wrong with prioritizing emotional connection over physical desires."
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