Status: 07.12.2023, 15:36 PM
By: Alfred Mittermeier
Every month, the Dorfen cabaret artist Alfred Mittermeier takes a satirical look back at city life. © Makli2013
Dorfen - For decades, the most popular stunt in the municipal area has been a flood ride through the flooded road in Oberdorfen over the Isen. A distinction is made between two groups:
Despite clearly placed danger signs, one group drives towards the flooded section, stops and analyzes the situation with an eagle's eye through the windshield. Result: "It's fine!" Then gear in, gas pedal down, off you go. At the latest when they have reached the deepest point, they gain the realization that a bonnet is just as inadequate as they are and drown.
The second group is far more offensive. For them, such a flood is a provocation. Nature has poured down the gauntlet on them in the form of thousands of hectoliters of water on the road.
Now it's time for a duel. The daredevil driver casts a quick glance at the passenger. "Hare, now watch out, how do I do it!" At full throttle, he circles around the danger signs. Even anti-tank barriers can't stop him. Due to the high speed, a bow wave is created in the water, so that the car gives up the ghost and floods long before the deepest point. That's it.
Anyone who has ever looked for a pragmatic distinction between half-idiot and full-idiot should take these two groups. The end of the stunt is always the same. The fire brigade and water rescue service arrive to pull the drowned heroes out of the water along with their soaked undercarriages.
In addition to driving in flood plains, building in flood plains is also a risky undertaking. For example, it is currently being discussed whether it is possible to build a nine-hectare residential and mixed area in the south of the city near the overflow basin with the not-quite-dry name "Obere Mooswiesen" despite increasing capricious weather.
In view of the lake landscape there last November, a port would do well in this area with seasonal jet ski offers and gondola rides through the Dorfen Everglades.
In the case of residential development, on the other hand, unusually strict precautionary measures would have to be manifested in order to mitigate any damage and dangers: The use of the underground car park will be limited to boats, primarily submarines. All cellars will be moved to the ground floor. The ground floor moves to the first floor. The first floor will be integrated into the second floor. The caretaker is a trained lifeguard and always wears the red Baywatch buoy on his body.
Only people who have passed the seahorse exam are allowed to move into the residential buildings. Pets are not allowed, except in the case of canaries, whose cage door opens automatically when the humidity increases. All in all, this is quite an effort that has to be checked regularly.
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However, it could also be done the other way around: a development is only approved if a flood can be ruled out on the basis of a once-in-a-century flood.