The funeral of Tomer Greenberg, Mount Herzl/Roni Knafo
When they planned the State Memorial Hall on Mount Herzl, they wanted to devote equal space to all the victims of Israel's systems under one roof.
At that time, there were about 6,000 spaces that were not memorialized in an orderly manner, therefore, it is only necessary to build the hall as a collection of identical bricks placed on top of each other and creating a spectacular and complex engineering form.
On each of the pale bricks, the name of the IDF space is engraved with an electronic memorial candle next to it. On the date of the fall, the "Memorial Candle" is lit near the name of the fallen, giving it a point of light inside the dim building.
Already when they began the planning, nearly 15 years ago , the need arose to calculate in how many years the space on the brick wall would run out. They naively tried to estimate the number of years according to the average of those who fall each year, which is about 40 in a "normal" year - and then the massacre came on the seventh of October. "Add fifteen years a day to this wall One," says Eli Ben Shem, chairman of Yad Labanim for the past 26 years.
"Only on the first day of the campaign there were more than 400 martyrs, and today we stand at 621 IDF, police, Shin Bet and Shin Bet fighters" (a number that has yet to be updated since the mid-week interview).
The names of the spaces added in the State Hall of Remembrance/Yenon Shalom Yathach
Exceedingly long columns of gloriously arranged bricks commemorate the names of those who fell in the last battle.
Eli is careful to point out many times that this is not all of them - and in the coming days the fallen of the last month are also expected to be added.
The last time when such a large number of casualties were added to this long list of casualties was on the night of February 4, 1997, when two helicopters collided with each other on the way to an operational activity in the security strip in Lebanon.
Among the 73 fallen was the late Kobi Ben Shem, Eli's son.
This week, we will mark 27 years since the terrible disaster and the deep wound that accompanies each of the families, including the Ben Shem family - this year is especially painful: "This year it is more difficult than usual.
Every year it breaks my heart, but I don't need the rituals to remember Kobe, I go to bed with him at night and wake up with him in the morning.
However, there are more than 1,000 white-collar volunteers who make it a point to attend every funeral.
And at every funeral I attend - it opens my personal wound, Kobi's.
I grit my teeth and carry on."
As usual, the Yad Labanim organization makes sure to attend every funeral - a task that became almost impossible in the first days of the war, when there were 60-90 funerals a day in Mount Herzl alone. "There was a funeral every half hour and in several different locations at the same time.
"For the first six days, our volunteers slept in the cemetery, but they insisted on attending the entire funeral," he says. "Until now, we have cared for older people - brothers who have been bereaved since Yom Kippur, we even have a 103-year-old mother. But suddenly, in this war, a group of parents in their 40s, 50s arrives , and 60 are already the old ones.
In one moment, a solution must also be found for 2,000 bereaved siblings, 70% of whom are under the age of 18, add to that 400 orphans - no one, not even the state, has the tools to take care of these children.
So we need to reinvent ourselves."
Indeed, Yad Labanim's budget doubled following the campaign and a long line of professionals were recruited to take care of parents and children. Since then, Ben Shem has visited more than 100 families of martyrs from the war and tried to help them pick up the pieces in what he defines as As a "completely new life": "Losing a son is an indescribable pain - the roof of the house has fallen on you, and you start life over.
Like a baby, this is a different life and you have to learn to live it, he slowly started to walk.
Everyone has to find their own way.
It's not just support groups and psychologists anymore - I've been there myself and ran away after a minute.
So riding horses helps me in places or high-altitude flights, where I feel like I'm talking to Kobe."
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Heavy apprehension ahead of Memorial Day
The great pain of the families goes hand in hand with the great pain of Eli, who insists on returning time and time again to the same families.
He pleads that it is a great privilege to help them - but also does not hide his personal difficulty: "As soon as you enter - you understand where these children came from. Families of the salt of the earth, there is no left and no right. Religious, ultra-Orthodox, Tel Avivites - they all raised the The children for the love of the country. You enter and see the families and are filled with great pride. However - it breaks. After visiting some of the families, I go to bed and sleep until the next day at noon. I understand what process they are in, I have been through it myself. They still don't know where to go They go - even 26 years after Kobe was killed, I get up with him in the morning and go to bed with him at night. You try to direct them, I consider it a great privilege."
In what place did you become everyone's father, who makes sure to protect the spaces and the families at all costs?
"I tried, but I wasn't very successful. Memorial Day for the bereaved families was the holy of holies of Israeli society. Something happened in the last year, and I am very anxious about what will happen on the upcoming Memorial Day. With the large number of families, with the anger we have at the army, at the country. Very Anxious. What unites the people of Israel is Memorial Day, a day on which there is a consensus. There is no citizen in the State of Israel who does not sanctify this day. Anxious because of the prisoners, because of the anger that a large part of the families have whose children were killed on October 7."
Last year's Memorial Day was marked by demonstrations against the legal legislation, and despite repeated pleas from public figures and leaders not to come and bring the protests into the cemeteries - the attempt to prevent this was only partially successful and in a number of cemeteries in Israel there were protests that ended in political demonstrations and violent confrontations.
Among the bereaved families, a survey was even conducted before the Memorial Day events, according to which 70% of the families were not interested in public representatives coming to visit graves.
Following the survey, the Public Council for the Commemoration of the Soldier decided to ask any elected official who did not serve in the army - not to come to the cemeteries.
The commotion on the previous memorial day at the cemetery in Be'er Sheva
On video: Shouting and heavy security upon the arrival of Itamar Ben Gabir at the cemetery in Beer Sheva/Yinir Yagana
"To my delight, all the ministers and members of the Knesset we approached said: 'If it hurts one family - we give up.' There were beatings. A thousand of his supporters came who had nothing to do with the bereavement and only came to sing him songs. I am very anxious politically, I hope that the ministers and members of the Knesset will preserve the sanctity of the day and transcend themselves.
" Also for families: "Bereaved families also have red lines.
When bereaved parents come here to this temple, here it is the holy of holies of the people of Israel.
I tell them - whoever wants to demonstrate should do it outside.
The military cemeteries are the pantheon of the State of Israel.
When you get the privilege to be in a military cemetery - it's a great honor.
As there are families that come with special formulas.
Uniformity should be maintained, whoever is not ready to accept the formulas - let him go to a civilian cemetery, everything is fine.
Complicated to tell the family.
"It's complex, but I'm saying it. There are rules in a holy place. If anyone wants, there will be no end to it. There were times when they wanted to introduce the profession of the fallen, a pilot, etc. And what do we do if there is someone who was a cook and they don't want to write? We need balances here and thinking. There is a committee of representatives from the bereaved families that decides and that should be respected.
Protest against the government on the previous Memorial Day/Niv Aaronson
Even in the last war, the whole issue of guarding this Holy of Holies - there are events that were not encountered.
"We were dealing with difficult things. But everyone can't judge for themselves even on the issue of the inscription on the tombstone. There was a very big debate in recent years about whether to add the name of the brothers to the tombstone. On Mount Herzl to this day there is a grave without a tombstone, there is the child's guitar - Exactly for this reason. We made a complex but informed decision. There is no place for a dot on the pillow itself, in recent years we have added a marble board at the bottom where each family can add what they want - just don't harm the country."
It can easily sound like coming and telling the family "we will decide how they will remember him"
"These are extremely complex and sensitive issues, when a family loses something dear to them - is that why you start fighting with them? But for a place like this you have to have rules. If someone has a claim - let them go away." 7, that he should not do it on his own accord.
If everyone starts doing what they want and writing what they want, you will lose the uniformity of the cemetery."
Ben Shem gives an example of this phenomenon: "If you walk through the plots of the Yom Kippur and Six Days War, you won't see anything on the graves.
There are no formulas and no captions.
In recent years you will start to see pictures, scarves, in the Ashdod cemetery there are mages and weapons on the graves, hanging bells.
I'm glad that at least the pillow is left as it should be.
Even the fallen now, one wanted them to write 'fell in the battle in Gaza', another wanted 'in the battle in Bari'.
It was decided to write on their tombstone 'Battle with iron swords' and the families were told in advance that this is a temporary name until the Israeli government decides to name the war.
After the government decides on a name - all the pillows of the graves will be replaced."
Dozens of funerals since the outbreak of the war.
Gabriel Shani's funeral on Mount Herzl/Flash 90, Yonatan Zindel
"Mr. Prime Minister, Mr. President, I'm glad you're laughing at the movie - but we're crying"
Ben Shem spares no criticism.
From the long conversation we have in the heart of the Memorial Hall, a sense emerges of a man who has taken upon himself the task of national commemoration - and he does not intend to give up on any point along the way, including the education system: "Unfortunately, the Israeli government for generations has not been able to introduce the subject of Israel's wars into the education system. We are caught thinking that this is not a built-in part in terms of matriculation - before Napoleon and the First World War. It is very sad for us that the fallen are not remembered."
Ben Shem recalled a conference that took place a few years ago.
"We decided to raise the issue. We sent a camera crew to the entrance of one of the schools in Jerusalem and asked the students questions: 'How many days did the Six Day War last?', no one knew. Operation Danny - they told me 'Strauss's Danny,' Ben Gurion - Airport'. Stupid answers. Then we asked 'Who won Big Brother?'
And everyone knew. Everyone rolled with laughter. So I went on stage and said to them: "Mr. Prime Minister, Mr. President.
I'm glad you're laughing at the movie - but we're crying."
"It's fine to know who won Big Brother and a star was born," Ben Shem pointed out and added: "But remember who our real heroes are and thanks to whom you live in Israel.
I tried with the Ministry of Education, I was in contact with all the ministers of education for generations - Bennett also tried and brought budgets to the matter.
But when every gymnasium director can do what he wants - in 90% of the schools there are no tests at all about Israel's wars.
It can't be that it's not in the textbooks."
But in the face of all this, Ben Shem insists on summarizing and admitting that the TikTok generation is more wonderful than they thought, and even sends a sting to the leaders: "There were talks about this generation - what an amazing generation.
They are not ready to end the fighting, our younger generations are praising themselves - both technologically and militarily.
I believe it will be good and only hope that this wall does not continue to grow.
I hope that each of our leaders will come to their senses and realize that they should be worthy of these fighters, every leader should see this wall in front of their eyes - and understand that they should be worthy of them."
More on the same topic:
Gaza war
War of Iron Swords
Remembrance Day for the martyrs of Israel's systems and victims of hostilities
IDF
Mount Herzl