What it means today to be old, elderly, adult or elderly person seems to be a topic subject to analysis and reflection rather than a rigid or reductionist definition.
The heterogeneity of ways of going through this long life stage surprises us and demands careful observation about the conditions that enable the most extraordinary changes in recent decades, such as increased longevity, better health conditions and lower levels of disability, as well as a cultural change that promoted the roles and activities available to this age group to be much more numerous.
However, aging continues to set certain physical, cognitive and social limits, which, although lower than those expected for the whole, cannot be ignored.
What do I mean by this?
We usually hear news that praises exceptional older people who achieve feats, more common in youth, and where it seems that we should not give up on anything, from parachuting to climbing mountains, as well as showing the enormous number of years achieved by certain individuals. .
Without a doubt, at any age there are people who manage to reach positions that are not easily imitable, be it a Messi or an Einstein, regardless of the age considered.
The problematic thing is to think that these goals are valuable for the whole and that aging well means being able to achieve all of that, while other ways of moving through it appear less desirable or healthy.
Being active is a good recommendation, which has a lot of scientific evidence, to achieve a better state of health both physically and mentally.
What is not clear is what it means to do, how much, at what cost or for what, as well as questioning who can achieve these achievements.
Gabriela Acher ironically pointed out to this medium: “I take care of myself a lot, too much.
I take care of myself like crazy.
I only drink water.
To have a good old age you have to have a shitty life” (Jun 9, 2023).
This humor reflects the attempt to control the changes of aging, entailing an effort of such magnitude that certain challenges can be placed on the verge of senselessness.
It is true that we are still demystifying what we believed an older person could or could not do, which expands social expectations in this regard.
Although, these same models can generate the false belief that the limitations of age are a matter of will or personal interest and that with effort and discipline everything seems to be achieved.
A question that leads us to think if this would be the achievement of old age.
Perhaps for some it may be a feasible goal, for others it may not be desirable and for many others it may be difficult to achieve.
Which shows how youth models contaminate social expectations, and as the American ethicist Harry Moody points out, everyone wants to live as young adults and, I would add, with the very high cost of maintaining bodies that allow certain feats.
Likewise, recently in another article published in
Clarín
by Diana Baccaro, she questioned another sacred monster, with a suggestive title: Do we really want to live 100 years?
Beyond the specific development, I think he was able to point out another supposed good, living a long time.
Seneca wrote: “Do you want to finally know how short they live?
Well, look how much they want to live.”
When life maintenance becomes an enterprise in itself, it may end up generating such reduced living conditions in which the most basic enjoyments are altered and the possibility of a project is nullified.
Curiously, and in rejection of this imperative of care, voices emerge that demand forms of euthanasia in older people, when their living conditions do not provide minimal conditions of satisfaction.
Behind this “aging company,” as the American sociologist Carol Estes called it, whose slogan would be “A long time ago and I lived a long time!”
(no matter what for), it should be revisited from a criterion that seeks to give meaning to the capital, physical, mental or social, achieved.
This would have to be accompanied by a social and individual understanding that gives rise to the acceptance of certain changes, at least those that are not modifiable at the moment.
When the numerical factor is separated from what makes life have personal value, there is a risk of forgetting who we are and what goals may be important, especially at a time when so many decisions need to be made.
When I was writing this note, I doubted whether it was the time to talk about this, when perhaps old age still requires us to dismantle that burden of social rejection, and where certain novel imperatives serve to direct a stage of life in which there is a lack of narratives that order directions.
Although I know that certain limitations, illnesses or death itself, although we do not name them, are present on the path.
Knowing and accepting them usually implies a certain emotional impact, but, at the same time, it can give rise to a project that arises from who we were, are and want to be, which in turn will find doors to how to do it.
Perhaps old age is the opportunity to stop counting how much we have and find that edge of desire that makes life an object that can still be enjoyed.
Ricardo Iacub is a Doctor in Psychology (UBA), a specialist in older adults.