As of: February 3, 2024, 4:00 p.m
By: Sebastian Grauvogl
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The following are happy to assist mourners: Petra Obermüller, Alexa Gentsch, Angela Schattenhofer, Almut Brandenburg, Lisa Piltz, Andrea Aimer, Dierk Beckmann and Cäcilia Spinner-Stockinger.
© Thomas Plettenberg
Children grieve differently than adults.
That's why the Miesbach hospice district recently dedicated a group to them.
And that's not the only free offer.
District
- Children often only realize years later that their grandma or grandpa hasn't just left, but will never come back.
Associated with a feeling of grief that is in no way inferior to that of an adult immediately after the death of a relative.
“Grief is an innate ability, but understanding and dealing with it depends on the level of development,” explains Alexa Gentsch, coordinator at the Miesbach Hospice District.
The needs of the children between the ages of five and twelve who attend the hospice group's grief group are all the more individual.
But one thing is important at every age: to clearly name dying and death and to answer the little ones' questions about it openly and honestly.
“And not to exclude them from witnessing the dying and grieving process of adults out of a misunderstood need for protection,” says Gentsch.
Children's group
The idea of a children's grief group has been on the minds of the hospice group for years, reports the coordinator.
The plans became more concrete a year and a half ago.
The first of the monthly meetings was held in September 2023 (each Saturday at the Catholic Education Center in Miesbach).
It always starts with an individual preliminary discussion with the parents and children.
In the group itself, the children are among themselves.
“They should have a space in which they can ask any questions.
Even those who might otherwise not dare to do so,” explains Gentsch.
The atmosphere is anything but dreary and sad, but is lightened up with activities, crafts and games.
But no one has to take part in everything, said the coordinator.
“You can also just be there.” The care is provided by trained grief counselors from the hospice group who have also acquired additional qualifications for accompanying children.
According to Gentsch, the group name “Pfützenjumper” was not chosen at random, but rather represents the way children grieve.
This is comparable to jumping into a puddle: in and out again.
“Children often switch quickly between inconsolable sadness and happy play.” This is normal and part of the child’s grieving process.
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Gentsch explains that the demand for the new offer was initially manageable due to the necessary educational work among parents.
Especially in today's world, when children are already confronted with death through the media - be it video games, films or the news on television - it is even more important to give them the opportunity to reflect.
adult group
For adults, it is social expectations that often complicate and influence grief in everyday life, adds Petra Obermüller, head of the Miesbach hospice group.
Grieving people often felt alone, misunderstood and unable to meet the expectations of others.
They are challenged to cope with everyday life and integrate the loss into their lives.
The hospice group's mourning group, which will no longer meet in Holzkirchen but in the Protestant church in Gmund from Tuesday, April 9th, will provide the necessary space for trusting discussions.
According to Obermüller, the background to the move is that a similar offering already exists in the market town with the mourning café and that Gmund is easier to reach for mourners from the southern communities due to its central location in the district.
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Meetings also take place monthly for adults.
In addition to the participants' exchange, experienced grief counselors provide substantive input.
After the group has formed after an open start, ten appointments usually follow.
The fixed ending is important to convey to the participants that there is life after the mourning phase and that they therefore have a goal in mind, explains Obermüller.
Fortunately, many mourners would continue to maintain the contacts they made through the group later on.
Sometimes friendships would even develop.
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The fact that nature can also provide impulses for grief work is regularly demonstrated during the hospice group's mourning walks.
On the last Tuesday of every month, the participants come together at the Osterwarngau natural swimming pool for such a round.
The fourth offer of the hospice group takes place every second Tuesday of the month at the Catholic Educational Center in Miesbach: the group for relatives of people with dementia.
Registrations
For all offers from the Miesbach hospice district you can call 0 80 24 /4 77 98 55 and send an email to info@hospizkreis.de.
Further information is available at www.hospizkreis.de.
Both groups and individual discussions are free of charge.
sg