Limor Bandel, couple therapist in the studio - about monogamy/walla!
If you believe that there is such a thing as a "soul mate", or "one" then it is very sad.
It's a shame that reality didn't convince you to let go of this idea, but maybe this therapist can.
He argues that thinking of your partner in terms of "the one" can jeopardize the relationship, not to mention the fact that it's a pathological delusion (our words, not his).
To think in fatalistic soulmate terms, it means taking one more risk for all the other psychological risks we take at the beginning of a relationship.
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Romanian-born psychology expert Francesa Tignian posted a video on her TikTok explaining to 1.3 million followers.
Why giving too much importance to your partner can eventually lead to a toxic relationship.
"Let's talk about 'the one' and what that term represents," the University of London graduate said in her video.
And went on to say that she knows that "it's really romantic to believe you've found the one, and it can add a bit of mysticism to the relationship, and make the person with whom you're with feel special - but it can also be "really dangerous," she stated.
@francescapsychology #psychology #psychologyfacts #datingadvice #obsession ♬ original sound - francescapsychology
"It's dangerous because it creates a false belief that you just need to find the right person and then everything else will fall into place. All your traumas, all your dysfunctional coping mechanisms, all your baggage - everything will magically disappear because it's the 'right' person - and that's not true ," she said.
People who think they are looking for "the one," are actually waiting for their special someone to save them from all their problems, Tinian continued.
"It won't happen, because it doesn't work that way. The belief that happiness starts when you enter a relationship creates exactly the dynamic of toxicity."
"When someone starts putting their worth in someone else's hands, they actually give up their autonomy, and in moments when their partner doesn't see Oo as adequate or valuable, he himself doesn't see himself as adequate or valuable, and that's already a big problem," she explained.
And it has the potential to get even worse, if you come with a tendency to obsess, because "this thinking actually fuels obsessions" and makes it even more difficult for the parties.
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