Surely, if it does not happen to you, it is very likely that you know someone very close to you who suffers from them.
This is
"good girl syndrome"
, a term created by a psychotherapist from the United States that is spreading throughout the world.
But
what is it and what are the symptoms to be alert to.
The reference is to the American psychotherapist
Beverly Engel
for her book
Nice Girl Syndrome
, which
mainly affects women
, although it also occurs in men, according to
RAC1.
The obedient and compliant disposition of a child who deserves all the praise of adults is probably not so helpful.
And this is not limited to childhood – because the rest take advantage or are even the target of harassment – nor as an adult, decades later, when they have to fight to
find their place within a professional team.
Engel focused on a series of dynamics that are acquired, especially by the female population, throughout their lives, who tend to worry more about how other people perceive them, who exude an attitude of kindness and sweetness, rather than strength and self-protection.
Precisely because of the title of the book, experts from the world of psychology call the
psychological picture
of people who meet these characteristics.
The author, who also specialized in domestic violence, talks in her work about how society often tends to
reward this type of behavior
.
The good girl syndrome is a psychological condition that occurs more in women.
Photo Shutterstock
Just as with physical health,
it is always important to consult with a professional
to provide the best diagnosis and subsequent treatment if necessary.
What are the characteristics of good girl syndrome?
These are some of the more detailed traits that people who suffer from this syndrome usually present, according to
HuffPost.
Not knowing how to say "no"
Not knowing how to set limits
is one of the characteristics of the good girl syndrome.
To solve it, experts recommend that you can start by setting limits for other people on issues that are not particularly relevant.
In this way, little by little,
you will gain the confidence
you need to extrapolate this practice to circumstances that matter more to you, they explain.
Smile, even without wanting to
Smile, very white teeth.
Photo Shutterstock
Another sign that indicates that a person suffers from this syndrome is that they smile, even when they have no reason.
Popular sayings, such as "if you cry, you're going to look ugly," are behind, among other reasons, why some people tend to think that it
is frowned upon for them to express their emotions.
Being accommodating to gain the sympathy of others
Specialists also mark as a trait trusting that, if you are pleasant to others, everyone will give you their approval and you will have
gained the acceptance of the rest.
However, it is clear that this is not always possible.
Therefore, people with good girl syndrome
tend to be self-demanding.
Being afraid of disappointing others
Fear of disappointing others in the workplace, a sign of the girl syndrome.
Photo: Shutterstock.
People who present this psychological condition usually think that what happens around them, such as the
feelings or emotions of other people, are their responsibility.
Therefore, they try to make others feel satisfied when they are with him or her, because it directly influences them.
Little tolerance for criticism
Criticism, regardless of whether it is constructive or not, can be
interpreted in different ways
and each person manages the information they are given in the way that best suits them or that they know how to do.
In the case of those who suffer from good girl syndrome,
they tend to be especially discouraged by criticism.
Therefore, experts recommend learning to accept them.
What are the causes of good girl syndrome?
Good girl syndrome can have several underlying causes.
Although each person is unique and individual experiences may vary, the
Psychology & Psychoanalysis Clinic
site lists some possible causes that contribute to the appearance of this syndrome:
Cultural and social expectations.
Society and culture can impose certain behavioral expectations on women.
These pressures can influence the formation of personality.
Education and upbringing.
Family environment and upbringing can also play an important role in the development of the syndrome.
Education, upbringing and bad past experiences influence.
Past experiences.
Whether negative or traumatic, such as rejection, abuse or invalidation of our opinions and desires, they can contribute to the development of good girl syndrome.
Low self-esteem and lack of confidence.
Constantly seeking the approval of others can become a way to compensate for a lack of confidence in one's own abilities.
It is worth noting that these are just some possible causes of good girl syndrome and that each person may have a unique combination of factors, specialists warn.