Everything you need to know about dating/AP, Reuters, Getty Images, Shutterstock
One New Yorker named Toni Lara was terrified of the mere thought of a date without alcohol when she quit drinking eight years ago, just before her 30th birthday.
"The thought of socializing or dating, let alone having sex without alcohol, just seemed impossible."
The former bartender and party girl realized at some point that most of the social and sexual interactions she had as an adult involved a few shots of tequila or jugs of beer, and stopped drinking to get in line with life.
Despite her initial concerns, Lara soon realized that sobriety improved her romantic life.
"Dating changed for me because I really started setting standards," Lara said.
"My tolerance for nonsense just decreased. I think the orgasm part especially, because I was faking orgasms until then," she admitted.
"The myth that women have a lower libido than men is simply not true"
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the first time you had alcohol-free sex outside of a long-term relationship Realized she didn't want to pretend anymore.
"I told him, 'This is usually the point where I start being theatrical, and start faking an orgasm, and I don't want to do that anymore,'" she said.
"Wanting to break it down and understand what I want the sexual experience to be for me was a breakthrough event."
"The thought of having sex without alcohol just seemed impossible."/ShutterStock
And she's not the only one who feels that way.
Many singles who have stopped drinking see the benefits of sobriety in their sex lives, including psychotherapists like Dr. Lee Phillips. It, it causes a lot of problems."
Certain physiological responses to sex can be inhibited by alcohol, including non-orgasm.
Women tend to experience uncomfortable or even painful sex when drunk, because of limited vaginal lubrication, and men tend to have erectile dysfunction, because alcohol reduces The blood flow to the genitals.
Besides the temporary damage to the body's performance, there are also psychological reasons why avoiding alcohol on a date can be good for everyone: "There is something very erotic and very hot about being completely present when you have sex - you can really feel more in your body and be creative during sex," Phillips said.
Hilary Sheinbaum was in her 20s when she started alcohol-free dating in New York after hooking up with a boyfriend she could last through January, and enjoyed the effects: "Some of the biggest myths about sober dating are that it's boring or awkward.
In fact, I've found it to be the exact opposite, and also — without alcohol, you can pick up red flags or things that make you uncomfortable faster."
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