Venting frustrations is often seen as a natural way to get rid of excess emotional baggage.
But while complaining or lashing out temporarily relieves anger, studies show that they don't help process negative emotions long-term.
In fact, this act usually reinforces and worsens the distress.
Of course we vented our anger on the AI Claude, because we knew she would explain to us why this was without treating us like the frustrated brainiacs that we are.
The theory that negative emotions require "release" to avoid exploding stems from Sigmund Freud, but dozens of experiments, conducted over decades, prove otherwise;
The release of anger or frustration makes people feel more - not less - aggressive after the fact.
Whether they take out the tension on punching bags or scream at other people after receiving an insult, those who vent their anger experience increased hostility compared to experimenters in the groups instructed not to vent their anger in any of the accepted ways.
Notably, in a study conducted after the September 11 attacks in the United States, people who vented their difficult feelings showed an increase, not a decrease, of 50% in the level of anxiety four months after the attacks compared to two months after. Another study, on websites used as a platform for venting frustrations, found that their users - whether they write in them or read only - experience a decrease, not an increase, in their mood after discharge. The more emotions we release, the more 'congested' this neural pathway in our brain becomes.
Although, de-stressing can temporarily reduce physical stress, such as blood pressure - but in the absence of real perspective or problem solving, it is unable to bring about emotional recovery.
The same goes for friends who encourage us to vent our feelings in their ears;
Only those that encourage us to find meaning provide real processing that helps to reach a better long-term feeling.
And yet we unpack.
It's hard for us to resist;
Getting close gives a temporary sense of purpose and connection.
But research shows that venting increases responses to threats, damages relationships, and fosters helplessness through so-called "narratives of grievance."
This does not mean that we should suppress all the complaints we have about the people and the world around us;
But you should skip the punching bags and the toxic 'positivity'.
Instead, it's better to use "psychological distancing" techniques until you calm down, then address the root of the problem constructively.
Real coping requires moving forward, not exploding.
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