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October 7 took us by complete shock.
At around 6:30, an incessant sound of alarms and rocket fire caused us all to immediately enter the MMD. The children cried and screamed, although they unfortunately grew into the illusory reality of rocket fire and alarms, while we remained locked in the MMD for several hours.
I remember the first video of the van with the terrorists on Sderot.
I say to myself - "It can't be, it doesn't make sense that it's on Sderot".
After a few seconds I really recognized that it was indeed Sderot, and then a new video was on the horizon.
I say to myself if they reached the horizon - they must have passed from the road that is near my seat.
Anxieties and fear overwhelmed me, but I was not allowed to show fear to my children.
I remember going outside to light a cigarette, and I don't understand.
where are the helicopters
where are the planes
Why is there this silence?
where is the army
We didn't know about the massacre at the party, nor about the massacre in the kibbutzim, we didn't imagine for a moment that this was what was happening.
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Only after a few hours, videos started arriving on all kinds of Telegram and TV channels.
We were captivated by the screen and in complete shock.
It is simply not believed that these terrorists, whatever their name, managed to enter and occupy settlements and bases.
A hard feeling prevailed in our house, a feeling of complete helplessness.
After two days we packed our bags and just ran away to Eilat.
It was simply impossible to continue staying at home.
Incessant rocket fire, alarms, every noise of an explosion made the children anxious.
After 3 weeks in Eilat we returned home, and nothing has changed.
Still the noise of the shelling, alarms blaring non-stop.
We packed our bags again and went to stay with a family in Ma'ale Adumim.
Needless to say, both my wife and I have businesses: my wife is a nail technician, and I am a private chef.
I remember thinking to myself, damn, who would do private events after this horrible massacre?
I had thoughts that this is it, I'm closing the business.
But we didn't bother with it, we just left everything behind.
We didn't think of anything, only the welfare of the children.
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After a few days in Ma'ale Adumim we returned to Eilat again.
In between, I felt the need to contribute myself as a grill chef and traveled throughout the south to pamper soldiers with my barbecue.
We once had a barbecue for 450 soldiers, and it was a tremendous feeling of satisfaction.
Despite all the difficulty, I always said to myself: it will be difficult, but this time they are finished - once and for all.
That my children live in peace, without missiles and alarms, is enough.
Not ready to return to the reality that missiles are being fired at us.
I, as a resident of Sdot Negev Regional Council, am not ready to return to such a reality again.
I hope that the government and its leader will fulfill their promises - the destruction of Hamas and the return of all the abductees.
Today, unfortunately, the feeling is that it is simply impossible to beat them.
There is the upcoming deal for the return of the abductees and Amen and they will return, but if such a deal comes to fruition it means that we have lost.
Before long there will be alarms and missiles again and the feeling of helplessness will rise again.
I wish that all the abductees return home safely as soon as possible.
Israel Lives
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