Question: I'm straight in my late 40s and recently divorced from my husband of 16 years.
We broke up because it didn't serve any of us anymore.
I feel ready to date again but I'm not sure about my sexuality.
I've never been with another woman but it's something I've fantasized about over the years.
I don't want to get involved with other women by dating them if I'm not bisexual, but how can I find out without trying?
I'm also worried about how my ex and kids will take it if I start dating a woman.
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The sexologist answers::
We were brought up with such a rigid binary of sexuality - we were basically told there were three options - gay, straight or bisexual.
Along with this went the idea that if you are straight you are always attracted to and have sex with members of the opposite sex and if you are gay or lesbian, you are only having sex and are attracted to people of the same sex.
But it turns out to be more complex than that.
The reality is that our sexual attractions and practices are not always so black and white.
As early as 1948, the renowned sexologist Dr. Alfred Kinsey proposed the idea that our sexual orientation is not binary, but exists on a scale with seven different points, according to him. Recently, the term 'heteroflexible' has appeared in the language specifically to describe people whose sexual attraction theirs and more fluid sexual behaviors. Even those who previously thought of themselves as heterosexual can fall in love or enjoy a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. A well-known scene in the genius series Schitt's Creek aptly described this when David said, 'I like the wine - not the label.
' , it is very common for women to have sexual fantasies about women - in a comprehensive study psychologist and sex researcher Justin Lehmiller found that 59 percent of heterosexual women actually fantasize about having sex with other women. An amazing figure. These fantasies do not necessarily mean that you are bisexual or want a sexual encounter Physical with a woman Fantasy doesn't always have to be translated into reality - it can remain fantasy.
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