"Six months ago, I received a message from a student I taught five years ago," Zahabit Savag suddenly remembers, "this is a girl I taught cinema and I felt she wanted to talk to me about something. Throughout the day I saw that she was not behaving normally. At the end of the day she approached me when we were alone and she said To me that my songs influenced her. I was surprised by this because it is after all my private life and when she told me that my songs influenced her, when she is 17 years old and I am 35 years old and she finds herself in them it is amazing to me. She felt the same because she also had exactly the first love. These songs and feelings she had also gave her the strength to write on the drawer and she also showed me a song she had written."
"Until now I'm shaking" she recognized her husband in the background of an old selfie she took,
really - the truth behind Demi Moore's glamorous performance at the age of 61,
you too?
59 percent of women share the same fantasy.
This is what it means.
If you haven't heard of Zehabit Savag and her story yet, you should start following her.
The book of poetry she just released, "Now I'm Good", covers different points of her life - a lesbian who grew up in Ramla in the 90s, listening to British music when everyone around her is listening to Reuven Malach and Yossi Eden.
In her youth she was ashamed of her family and the Arabic language they spoke at home, but in her adulthood she returns and rediscovers the music that flooded her grandmother's house, listening to Abd al Halim Hafez and Farid al Atarsh.
Moves to Tel Aviv while her whole family stays in Ramla and goes to earn a living from art - singing, cinema and writing scripts.
She has experienced love and separation and Sabeg manages to put all of this into a few sharp, precise and sometimes piercing lines that tell a story.
And forget about refined and delicate text.
The things are presented as they are and if it is necessary to write Wagina, Lagjadar or 'Sabah al Khir Ya Zalma', then this is what will be written.
Listening to British music when everyone around her is listening to Reuven the Archangel.
Zehavit Sabag/courtesy of those photographed, Michael Liani
"I believe in a complete faith,
in concrete, in a talisman, in tears, in Gijdur,
in Adidas, in flesh, in bangs, in Pazar.
I am atonement, I am a rascal,
sin incarnate. I
am sick of God, there is no other but Him.
I swear not to betray my life sciences,
I love Redbull vodka Picking up at events.
Smiling from the Audi and living in a cardboard box,
wearing the most expensive jeans from the newspaper.
Making a show of you I have no competition,
in Uman every year you knock your head off.
Sell me chocolate with class and style,
you'll jump for me until tomorrow I won't come out of the closet.
In love with Hagit but She won't know,
because Moshe, her husband, will tear her apart.
My rabbi brought a talisman and gave an explanation,
"Get yourself a man with a kosher cock."
Shit on the rabbi and shit on Hagit,
I'm going out to the city tonight to catch me some lesbian."
Sebag has always loved to write.
Already in the 5th grade she wrote a story for a drawer called "Young Brain" about aliens that come to earth and eat the brains of small children.
In high school she started writing more in the drawer.
With the world of poetry started 8 years ago.
She says that "I always knew I was a lesbian. When I was in elementary school I loved my girlfriends but I didn't think it was something serious, which makes sense. In high school I already had my first girlfriend and at the age of seventeen I kissed a girl for the first time and I knew that this was it, neither boys nor plaster, I'm attracted to girls. At the age of 20, I took the step and came out of the closet."
About her childhood in Ramla, she says that "I studied at Ramla-Lod high school, and this is a population that I never connected with. I was invisible in high school, everything was foreign to me. I was different in the landscape, I would see foreign cinema, listen to the BBC orchestra while others would hear my songs Depression of Abi Bitter, Reuven the Angel and others. Even the Choponi who was in high school didn't catch me, I was really an outsider. And yet, they treated me okay because my sister was the queen of the high school. She was in the 12th grade and I was in the 2nd grade, her grades were always 100, She was beautiful, successful, everything a girl wants.
And I'm like the opposite.
Add to that that at the age of 14 I was diagnosed with epilepsy, something that accompanied me until the age of twenty.
I was not exposed to alcohol, parties and even camera flashes would cause me convulsions.
While my peers spent time at parties, I spent time in a hospital."
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"I was really an outsider" Zehavit Savag/courtesy of those photographed, Michael Liani
In her late 20s she starts writing more songs and then she arrives in the big city, after the service and when she stops taking the epilepsy pills because the "short" in the brain as she defines it is working out.
And suddenly she could afford to be exposed to the world and swallow it - drinking alcohol, going out late and generally feeling like she was alive at 21, everything she hadn't experienced when she was growing up.
Then she falls in love... with a married woman.
A strong and passionate love that lasts a year and in the end it ends because there was no other way.
"Love of my life that will not come true" is how the same woman put it.
The same woman didn't want to give up her family and come out of the closet and Sebag simply collapsed: "It was a great and powerful love. Today I understand that she was the one who opened my heart, I wasn't as connected to myself as I was before her. I learned to express myself, to feel, to be. It started with friends that developed into love interrupted by enmity. Maybe we met at the wrong time, and maybe in another reality we would have been together. She never said she would leave him for me. There is a very revealing poem I wrote about this and not just the second part of the book is called the broken heart syndrome, there really is such a medical syndrome and it is completely What I felt."
Sebag's book of poems, "Now I'm Good", is a revealing and personal book of poetry written over the years, with each time adding more and more songs that fit Sebag's situation.
Therefore, the book is divided into chapters.
The first part is about her childhood in Ramla and her eastern identity up to the reclaiming of the culture she ran away from - love and life in the heart of the neighborhood/Mediterranean love.
Then the second chapter talks about love, the good and the bad in it as well as unrequited love - the broken heart syndrome / crushed my life in which she referred to the woman who was her love and was an integral part of the writing process.
"Writing was absolutely therapy," says Savag, "my way of expressing myself in writing, in words. The written word has a lot of power and influence. Even as a filmmaker, I convey messages according to what the viewer sees on the screen. All the songs and the book itself have a process. Let's say the second part It opens with the euphoria of love and later I learn to live with a hole in my heart and learn to move on."
"Maybe we met at the wrong time, and maybe in a different reality we would have been together."
Zehavit Sabag/courtesy of those photographed, Michael Liani
And these songs, as mentioned, have an audience.
"When I started writing and I would publish here and there, there was someone who would respond to me regularly, another one responded to me that my poems did to her like the book "Chicken Soup for the Soul"."
This is perhaps the reason that Sebag gathered a crowd of fans her age who find themselves in her songs as well as the younger generation who were exposed to her songs and admitted that she speaks to them as well.
And what about today?
"Today I'm fine, or at least on my way there. When I started the process I was at a low point, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, "Now I'm fine", I'm working on it. I've learned to live without her, but I've discovered myself. It always sounds cliché, but I deal with a lot of Separation and death. I'm at a time in my life where I read a lot about Buddhism and can say that I've finally learned to breathe on my own."
When do you decide not to write any more songs for the book?
Sebag laughs.
"I drove my literary editor crazy every time I told her I wanted another song and another song. Even when I'm writing a script I always want to change but in the end you always have to stop. I had 2 or 3 songs in the book that didn't feel right to me and I took them down."
Broken Heart Syndrome/Zahvit Sebag
I read a sponsored headline
about how a difficult breakup
can physically change
the structure of the heart.
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