The couple having sex in nature/kaylee_killi0n
So the magic happened, you go to you and have the best sex of your life with a new man.
It's crazy, it feels like you knew each other in a previous incarnation.
He reads thoughts even before you know you've thought them, he picks up little hints, he's the most sensitive and considerate man in bed you've ever met - and this is your first time.
You try to imagine what the sequel will look like if it's already like this, and your brain explodes with happiness.
Such a meeting is such a rare event that you have to wonder if there is a catch, and we are here to tell you that you are right - there is - this excellent sex with the man who acts as if you are the only one in the world for him, is also a red flag, but a bright red one.
Listen to that little voice, psychologists warn - because there is a reason this dream partner is so attentive to your needs - maybe it is the sophisticated trap of the narcissist, who is endowed with high emotional intelligence and the ability to take a role, and he uses them to trap you with his charms, make you addicted and then - boom .
"We established borders, we plowed the land. The days when we lowered our heads are over"
Even the French admit: we have much less sex than before, and this is worrying
Fighting and divorce: the great damage of the war around the corner
"It's not a matter of intimacy, but of control," the expert warns against the narcissist/ShutterStock
Because narcissists crave admiration, experts say, sex is one of the main exercises for this personality type - very often they develop their skills between the sheets to such a degree of perfection, to please their partners, and sweep them off their feet only to turn around when the time comes, when you feel the safest
A quick question that can clarify the situation - do you get the same bordering on excessive loving attention at the breakfast table?
If not, it's a problem, and if the gap is particularly large, there's a chance you've already fallen into the narcissist's trap, said Dr. Ramani Dorosola, a clinical psychologist
. Says, "Sound familiar?
The reason they can be warm and sensitive one minute and turn into ignorers the next, is because it's not a matter of intimacy, but of control.
They use you when they need the admiration, and put you back on the shelf when they're full."
More in Walla!
Virtual reality therapy: a treatment for coping with anxiety
In collaboration with zap doctors
She adds that their extreme changes have a very bad effect on the hormonal balance of the brain because when you are in their world, it is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin, which gives you pleasure and a sense of intimacy, but when they turn their backs at once, the brain goes into withdrawal, producing a feeling of distress and anxiety, and too much Swinging back and forth between the situations can lead to a toxic and traumatic relationship - not unlike what happens in a really violent relationship.
It's not evil or something done on purpose - worse, they often don't even know what they're doing, their survival needs simply take over, and they're in a chronic state of "it or him or me" and therefore will completely miss harming others.
"Narcissistic people are very needy for reward and often don't think about the consequences. So sex is the ultimate breeding ground for a narcissist."
Narcissists also like to dominate in the bedroom - for them, sex is power, and they like to exert that power on someone else.
They also need external approvals, so will always perform above expectations to get their 'dosage'.
Another sign of narcissistic sex is unusual sessions with a "porn atmosphere," warned Dr. Dorosola. "It's very much 'look at me' vibe sex."
More on the same topic:
women
relations
men
a relationship
sex