As of: February 24, 2024, 2:04 p.m
By: Kathrin Hauser
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The sun rises above the clouds.
Photographer Emanuel Gronau took this picture on the Hoher Peißenberg in October 2023.
© Emanuel Gronau
In the series “Behind the Horizon” people who are confronted with death in their jobs have their say.
Today Dr.
Paulo Nicoly Menezes from the advisory center of the Diocese of Augsburg in Weilheim.
Weilheim – He is something of an expert when it comes to death.
He has already dealt with it in a variety of ways, gotten to know many perspectives on it and been told a lot about it: Paulo Nicoly Menezes is a philosopher, theologian and psychological counselor and worked for a while as a clinical chaplain in Brazil.
During this time he saw many people die and comforted and accompanied many of the bereaved.
Even now, many whose relatives have died are seeking advice and help from the Augsburg diocese's counseling center in Weilheim, which is headed by Nicoly Menezes.
All the experiences, observations and stories from mourners have led him to the conclusion that not everything ends with dying: “I am firmly convinced that there is something after death,” he says: “I know I don't know what it is or how it develops, but I know that it continues somehow." Only the physical body is mortal, says Nicoly Menezes: "Our life is more than the life of the human body.
We are intelligent principles that survive physical death.” Research results from scientists also indicate that consciousness can go beyond brain death.
Counselor Paulo Nicoly Menezes: “Dying people often have a peaceful look”
What this life after death will look like cannot be said: “I often say that we must have intellectual humility.
Scientists have to be modest.” It is not yet possible to know about everything that exists in the universe.
Nicoly Menezes comes from Brazil, where Afro-Brazilian, Indian and European influences shape the culture and spirituality plays a major role in dealing with death and the deceased.
“The Indians are in constant contact with death and their dead.” The connection to the deceased is maintained and maintained through rituals and traditions.
The way death is faced in his homeland influenced and shaped him.
“In the culture I come from, death is not so frightening.” In addition, the experiences he has had at various workplaces have contributed to Nicoly Menezes not fearing the end of life.
“Dying people often have a peaceful look.
As if they had already seen something or someone from the other dimension.
You feel the peace,” he says.
The bereaved should find someone in their counterpart who understands them
Nowadays, his work deals with those who are left behind and feel distress and despair after a loved one dies.
The Bible warns in several places against contacting the dead.
In the therapist's experience, caution is actually advised when it comes to the services of people who work as spiritual healers or mediums between the local world and the world of the dead.
This could become a horror experience.
“Whoever opens the door to this sphere must be very careful.”
Nicoly Menezes believes it is important that those who seek help in the event of a bereavement find understanding.
Most people are in a phase of uncertainty regarding questions about dying and what comes afterwards.
It is helpful if searchers find someone in their counterpart who understands them.
“I try to do this again and again, to be new, and in doing so I experience great human enrichment and the feeling that I can do something meaningful.”
Many mourners feel the presence of the deceased
As a counselor, he was repeatedly told by mourners that they were in contact with their dead - "not just in their thoughts, but alive in experienced closeness and exchange." For most people, this experience is extremely helpful for the grieving process.
“This gave these people real comfort and, above all, new vitality,” says Nicoly Menezes.
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Many wondered whether they would lose their minds or become ill if they felt the presence of the deceased.
He reassures the people who come to him that they are healthy and encourages them to seek closeness to their dead in prayer, in church services, in letters, in conversation or in other ways.
“We can and may rely on support and help from our loved ones who have died,” says the advisor.
Rituals and traditions surrounding dying and death have almost disappeared
According to his observation, this possibility of staying close to the deceased on their way to the afterlife has been almost forgotten due to the rationalism of today.
Rituals and traditions surrounding dying and death have almost disappeared.
For example, it used to be customary to leave the dead at home for a few days and wash and dress them yourself.
Friends and neighbors came to say goodbye and regular memorial services were held.
By the way: Everything from the region is also available in our regular Schongau newsletter. And in our Weilheim-Penzberg newsletter.
Much of this is generally handled differently today.
Nicoly Menezes is convinced that it is important to grieve and not simply push away the feelings, doubts and questions that arise after the death of a loved one.
He advises you to always take time for it, otherwise the grief will catch up with you at some point.
“I see again and again that people fall into severe depression if they don’t do this.”
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