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"The first time when my family listened to the song, they thought it was written about the abductees. It's probably not a coincidence, my private pain mixed with the terrible reality since the October Seventh."
This was revealed by Ella Partosh, a student of "Atid" from Movaot Yam, who wrote and sang about a toxic relationship she experienced.
"I lost the right to choose over minor things such as where and when we go out, what I wear, and even more fundamental things. It took me a while to understand that what was happening between us was wrong, I was in an emotional turmoil. The understanding came only after we broke up. After we broke up, I preoccupied myself a lot with the question: if I had it so bad, why did I go back to it every time?"
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This week, the Atid education network launched a unique album of songs written, composed and performed by students as part of the "Creative Future" project.
The project provides a platform for an original work penned by the students of the Atid education network, who represent the diversity of the spectrum in Israeli society and succeeds in connecting them.
The students recorded the songs during the "Iron Swords" war and some of the songs on the album also reflect the spirit of the time.
Another part of the album is a mirror of reality that even during fighting the simple matters of life continue to be an object of creation and that there are those who still burn in it to write about personal identity, personal challenges, relationships and disappointments, the pursuit of fulfilling dreams, and even the fear of recruiting a spouse for combat duty.
From right to left: Chai Atia Mimoni, Noya Eliyahu, Lital Aviv, Omer Feinstein, Hodia Tarkin, Darin Sheik Yosef, Akolina Adrieva, Yossi Mamou, Leah Levitan, Ella Partosh, Liam Geva.
Seated, from right to left: Guy Regev, Ronan Fly, Eduard Vodolezsky, Omer Zamora, Harel Michaeli/Sapir Lampert
The album was produced to a particularly high professional standard by experienced professionals from the music industry in Israel in collaboration with "Even Haim Music Productions" and includes a variety of songs in Hebrew, English and Arabic, as well as an instrumental piece.
As part of the creative process, the students met the singer and composer Idan Reichel for a special workshop and he was exposed to the songs they wrote.
One of the most original, brave and exposed songs on the album, "Without Regrets", belongs to Ella Partosh, who writes sensitively and honestly about a girl who got into a toxic relationship.
Ella, who will soon celebrate her 18th birthday, lives in Emek Hefer and studies in the twelfth grade at "Atid" Movaot Yam. She has been writing, composing and performing songs since the age of 14, and it is not for nothing that she successfully passed the entrance exams for the military band, in which she will be enlisted.
The song actually talks about a toxic relationship. Have you ever experienced such a relationship before?
"Yes, my song 'Without Regrets' was written a few months after I got out of a toxic relationship.
I was in a relationship with a guy who was a year older than me, with whom I experienced power relations.
He was impressive and charismatic, which sometimes made me blind to what was going on.
I would go to him non-stop and on the way back home, I would find myself physically and mentally weak and sad but despite everything I always came back to him.
Like any relationship, it started with enthusiasm, 'butterflies' and falling in love, but over time I found myself in a relationship where I lack control and know what's going on."
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Loss of control?
"I lost the right to choose over minor things such as where and when we go out, what I wear, and even more fundamental things. It took me a while to understand that what was happening between us was wrong, I was in an emotional turmoil. The understanding came only after we broke up. After we broke up, I preoccupied myself a lot with the question: if I felt so bad, why did I go back to him every time? I took the metaphor of the sheep to the slaughter, and turned it around. 'It's not that the sheep drove to the slaughter for long hours'. I felt a little guilty for continuing to drive to him, despite everything, as a sheep to the slaughter."
Why did you choose to pursue this topic?
"Writing and composing is my way of speaking and translating what I'm going through. The war, which began on the seventh of October and the videos of the atrocities that were revealed on social media, overwhelmed what I experienced. The song 'Without Regrets', which I wrote and composed in a few hours, started from a few sentences I wrote on notes on the phone and became a work of art Shlomo. I use art, painting, writing and composing to heal the soul, this is my way of taking the weight off me, being proud of it and moving on."
What do you think about the kidnappings in Gaza?
"I can't imagine what the girls are going through in captivity for so long, my heart is torn. They and they are under the control of an inhuman enemy. Losing the freedom to control your life, your safety and your body is the worst kind of terror imaginable. The first time my family listened to the song , they thought it was written about the abductees. It's probably not a coincidence, my private pain mixed with the terrible reality of since October Seventh."
Does it take a lot of courage for this exposure?
"Not everything can be said, not everything can be talked about, that's why I'm lucky to have music with which I translate traumas into a soundtrack. I knew in advance that my choice of song would be unexpected, but as soon as I felt the discomfort in my family's and friends' chairs the first time they listened to the words, I knew I had achieved That's my goal and it works. The subject of boundaries in relationships is discussed here and there in the news, but not in music. That's why I think it's time to talk about the 'elephant in the room' and normalize the discourse in everything related to boundaries, assertiveness and power relationships.
And why talk about it at the age of 17? Perhaps because not everything should be left to adults, and perhaps to dictate a new reality in which everything is simply talked about. Making this topic accessible in music, in my eyes, will help to raise the discourse and change a certain pattern, to give an answer to songs like 'The Love of Construction Workers' or 'When You Say No.' To dictate a new reality in which my peers are also partners in this discourse about boundaries within relationships. It's time to stop being afraid of the discomfort that the topic produces."
Along with the emotional complexity described in the song, Ella chose to incorporate an optimistic tone in it: that girl who is in a feeling of helplessness, full of anticipation for the sun to rise, the sun that can differentiate between day and night, the sun that will open the locked door.
"This is an expectation that each of us can relate to, especially these days. I think my message is not in the words of the song, but in the fact that I sing it. My message is that we (you) are never alone. And the greatest healing is to make your voice heard and talk".
The song appears on the album "Creative Future 2" for an original multicultural work and singer Efrat Gush chose it as the best song on the album.
The album is available on digital platforms.
To listen click here
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