As of: March 15, 2024, 2:00 p.m
By: Uta Künkler
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Mom, dad, child: shared sleeping models are becoming increasingly popular with parents.
The hashtag #familiebett delivers 55,000 hits on Instagram alone.
© Alessandro Ventura/dpa
An extra portion of security in bed with mom and dad at night: more and more young parents are opting for a family bed and co-sleeping.
Two Erdinger experts explain why.
Erding
- Tapping footsteps in the hallway, shortly afterwards a few cold feet under the blanket and small hands on the face - parents are familiar with their little ones' nightly visits to their parents' bed.
But instead of banishing the children from the visitor's crack again soon afterwards, more and more people are opting for a different model: family beds and co-sleeping, i.e. sleeping in their own bed in the same room, are solutions to an age-old problem.
Two experts from Erding explain what this is all about.
Children need security from a caregiver while they sleep
“Sleeping alone is not in a child’s nature,” says Susanne Lenar, summing up the essence of the matter.
Rather, the little ones want the safety and security that the closeness of a caregiver gives them, especially when they sleep, explains the 37-year-old family pediatric nurse from Erding.
Accordingly, Lenar condemns so-called sleep training.
Susanne Lenar from Erding advises young families.
© Private
A few years ago, guides such as “Every child can learn to sleep” celebrated great success.
It advocated laying the baby down on its own when it was awake, and if it cried, to comfort it only after short periods of time and then after longer periods of time according to a set plan.
“An absolute no-go,” says Christiane Butz indignantly.
The 43-year-old from Walpertskirchen also works as a family nursery nurse.
Success of sleep training or sleep programs is actually “sad resignation”
Butz explains her criticism as follows: The little ones call for their parents by crying.
If these cries for help are not heard, the children will eventually learn that their parents are not reliable.
Binding is practically a disaster.
“Surely babies give up at some point and stop crying,” says Butz.
But what parents might see as a success of sleep training is actually nothing more than “sad resignation.”
Family beds are becoming increasingly popular
These methods have been considered outdated for several years, says Lenar, who works for the “Early Help” program of the Coordinating Child Protection Office in the district office and also works independently as a family consultant (familienkiste-erding.de).
Rather, another trend can be noticed: the offspring are increasingly being accommodated in the parents' bedroom - either in an extra bed next to the parents' bed or in the family bed.
Most people don't want to miss being close to their partner at night, so why should that be any different with children? asks Lenar.
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Christiane Butz from Walpertskirchen is a pediatric nurse.
© Private
“There are couples who prepare everything right from the start and build a large lying area,” says Lenar.
Inspiration for sleeping in an XXL bed can be found in abundance on internet blogs and in social networks.
On Instagram alone, the hashtag #familiebett delivers an impressive 55,000 hits.
On the other hand, there are those who, during pregnancy, still lived with the idea of putting the child to sleep in their own room, reports Lenar.
But then they would often notice “that the beautifully furnished children's room is not occupied by anyone”.
Sometimes the cot would be sold and everything would be rebuilt.
Fear of sudden infant death syndrome
Of course, there are also parents who cannot sleep comfortably next to their children.
In addition to one or two feet in the face, the fear of sudden infant death also makes couples shy away from the family bed, reports Lenar.
Parents fear that their child will roll over in their sleep or suffocate them with their own blanket.
“Basically, the family bed is just as safe as an extra bed,” says Lenar, addressing these fears.
However, there are some factors to consider.
It shouldn't be too warm in the bedroom and the child should wear their own sleeping bag and have enough space.
In addition, no parent should be a smoker or sleep next to an infant while intoxicated.
reservations of the older generation
There are also reservations, especially from the older generations, but also from parents.
“You are spoiling your child” is often the criticism.
And: “It will never become independent.” Lenar advises parents to listen to their own needs and those of their child.
The right solution is the one that suits everyone involved and not what is written in a textbook or propagated by grandma.
Everyone has to find their own way, says Lenar.
“And opinions can change again,” she says.
For example, when a sibling is on the move or the family bed becomes too small for one parent at some point.
Because “if you left it to the children, they would probably not move out of their parents’ bedroom until puberty,” she is convinced.