Having met a partner through the internet is no longer taboo.
Gone are the times when someone hesitated when it came to confessing that they had found love through a chat or an application, or even when the situation was so exotic as to dedicate songs to it.
The cybersecurity company Kaspersky indicates in its study
Influence of technology on the lives of Spaniards
: 40% have used or use applications to meet other people and 18.6% have met their partner online.
However, more and more users are victims of the fatigue and hopelessness that sometimes emerge in the face of an endless chain of appointments.
Given the desperation resulting from not finding love in the digital universe, new formulas are being born that try to embrace face-to-face.
This is the case, for example, of the Pear ring, which costs 31.95 euros and which single people wear to tell the world their marital status.
“If all the singles in the world wore this turquoise ring (or purple, for the LGTBI community) to indicate their status, we would not need dating apps,” reads the website.
More information
“In the end everyone looks the same”: what the Tinder photo, the largest collection of portraits in the world, says about you
Closer was born in this framework, whose creators, Arturo Vacas and Martín Zulueta, assure that it is the complete opposite of a dating application.
Here there are no
matches
or
swypes
: the crush begins face to face.
“You meet someone and you feel that a certain interest has arisen between the two of you.
Will be real?
You open Closer and answer a random question about him or her.
If the interest was not mutual, you will never know anything about that person.
If it was, Closer will have done its magic and you will be able to chat,” explain the instructions for use of what its creators define as an
anti-app
.
“We don't consider ourselves a dating
app
, because you have to have seen someone on the street to want to talk to that person, so it is not a network that is used at home.
You are not hooked on an application either: we are talking about something real and tangible, not about sending a
random
request ,” explains Inés Velasco,
brand manager
.
“There are people who think that technology is the enemy, but I think the opposite is true.
My 13-year-old cousins are embarrassed if they have to order a pizza over the phone, because they are not used to having to call.
"They would never approach someone they are attracted to on the subway either, and what we have done is take that reality, which reflects what happens to new generations, and try to make technology more humane and help us," she says. .
Fifties: illustration of a teenage party in a house, where young people had to flirt face to face.
Mobile phones did not exist.GraphicaArtis (Getty Images)
Joaquín González, creative director of Closer, emphasizes the idea that the project is the opposite of an application.
“It is the most human social network that we have been able to create, because it returns to the romantic idea of meeting someone outside of that catalog of people that exists in apps
and
even on Instagram.
When people say that young people can't do anything without an app, we tell them that Closer is a tool.
It's about facilitating contact.
More than technologicalizing relationships, it is about humanizing them,” he explains to ICON.
A necessary note when saying “people catalog” is that, while in other applications there are countless filters to search and data to complete to present yourself to the world, here you only need the name (which only appears if the other user accepts you). ), a photo and sexual orientation.
The boredom of the endless search for love
The frustration of
online dating
is no stranger to the applications themselves, as demonstrated by the fact that Bumble has Snooze Mode, an option that allows you to pause activity in the
app
while maintaining connections and chats.
“Your profile will not be able to be seen by other users for 24 hours, 72 hours, a week or indefinitely.
During this time, you can choose a status with the reason for your absence that your existing connections will be able to see, to take a break without losing your chats or your connections,” they explain.
“These types of applications push us to consume people and emotions, without giving us time to develop a relationship as such.
Relationships are built and these types of applications do not usually give rise to second chances.
And there are also people who do not understand that behind a screen there is a person, so their way of relating in these
apps
lacks real emotions beyond immediate pleasure,” explains Eva Campos, author of
And I give you my heart
.
“This way you have the perfect breeding ground for frustration.
The accumulation of experiences that can be had in this type of
apps
often translates into loss of self-esteem and even depression,” adds the author.
The paradox of face-to-face through 'apps'
The Meetic app, aware that shy people may find dating uncomfortable, launched a 3-minute blind dating experience, another hybrid formula with which to try to find a partner (or whatever comes up).
“Worrying about physical appearance, running out of topics of conversation, not finding that
feeling
with the person… will not be a worry, since the bad drink will only last 3 minutes and the opportunity to find love will begin again.
If both of you consider that you have achieved a connection, you can remove the virtual blindfold and continue the date with a face-to-face video call,” they say.
They claim that this event is less stressful for participants than traditional dates.
“They are blind dates and focus on the questions that are often used to break the ice.
Furthermore, getting to know someone without seeing their profile or photos leaves room for intuition, allowing you to have a more authentic experience.
On the other hand, it is a lighter format that helps people match faster, which saves time, since only compatible profiles are the ones that get in touch,” they explain.
Sixties: tourists alternating in the pool of a hotel in Tahiti.
Mobile phones did not exist.Aladdin Color Inc (Corbis via Getty Images)
For its part, Closer had 4,000 downloads in 24 hours, a sign that many people want to recover the flirting techniques of yesteryear... But isn't it a paradox to run away from apps
and
need an
app
to establish contact?
Martín Zulueta, co-founder of Closer, explains that his intention is to “solve the problem that people no longer dare to speak directly to who they like, so we have created an
app
with which to materialize that moment.
We cannot say that it is flirting
like before
, but it is the closest thing to it... Furthermore, it is not only an ally for those who do not dare to speak, but for those moments when you cannot do so because you are with your family or in a meeting, for example.
There are many opportunities that are lost that do not only address shame,” he says.
Jorge Basante, a 22-year-old advertising student, is a user of this network.
“It was funny to me to know that it consisted of first seeing someone in person and then sending them a wink.
I wanted to try.
He's doing pretty well for me.
The other day I was hanging out with another guy, and shortly after, when I got into the
app
, I saw that he had sent me a wink, so I responded.
I think we will meet this weekend,” he explains.
“I think that those of us who are from generation Z are afraid of meeting people because of the traumas generated in other relationships,” says Bruno, another 23-year-old user of the network.
“As our emotional availability is scarce, I believe that betting less on getting to know people by their appearance, and betting on closeness, can bring fewer negative thoughts.”
Javier, a 38-year-old manufacturing operator, confesses that he was attracted to Closer because of “the way it proposes to meet new people halfway between the virtual and the real world.
We spend so much time talking on WhatsApp that we forget to interact in the real world.”
Porto Ecole, seventies.
The compliments were face to face. Slim Aarons (Getty Images)
Those who still trust in being able to meet people without the need for applications, but with Wi-Fi, are the users of Bored of Dating Apps, (Bored of dating applications, whose acronym in English forms, what, the word WEDDING).
They consist of a series of events in the UK that focus on what organizer Jessica Hope-Evans calls “more mindful dating.”
“Do you remember the feeling of checking out a stranger you like in a bar?
And the moment you started talking?
"Being able to meet someone face to face in a physical place, and not in an application?" asks the website of this network, which clarifies that its events have nothing to do with speed
dating
.
They are simply, they clarify, celebrations in which everyone is single.
“One of the best things about our social networks is that everyone is in the same orbit.
People who are fed up with the
here-I-get-you, here-I-kill-you culture
gather in the same place,” says the founder in her X profile.
Is there still a stigma surrounding online dating?
As Damona Hoffman, writer and dating expert, explained to EL PAÍS, “Tinder offered its users ease of use and reduced the stigma that digital flirting is for losers.”
But have we really left that stigma behind?
“We see that people still prefer to say that they have met someone in real life, not on a platform.
What we have achieved is that you can say that you have met someone on both spectrums,” says Miguel Quevedo, art director of Closer.
Campos believes that stigma depends on generations.
“The youngest have grown up in a 100% digital environment, so it is not a problem for them, since it is normalized for them, to meet someone through social networks such as Instagram or TikTok or
dating
apps .
The curious thing is that this type of
app
is increasingly used by people over 60 years of age, who no longer have any complexes when it comes to saying that they have met someone through that means.
On the other hand, for those of us who had one foot in the analog world and lived through the beginnings of the internet at a certain age, it is still a bit tricky, perhaps because at the time, interacting through a screen was identified with people with few social skills.” , Explain.
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