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Before approaching the "signs of the sex therapist" one should ask if there is such a thing as being "bad" at sex, and if it is not mainly about chemistry between two specific bodies. There are some things that are probably common to people who have problems in their sex life. As a rule, it is not about physical assets or actions Specificity, but mainly in attitude problems, which can be treated.
Divorced twice before the age of 30 and now lives with a woman: "No sex"
"My mother is unhappy with my father, and I really want to arrange an affair for her"
"Unbelievable, but the cringe tip That my mom gave me got me a boyfriend!"
And having said that, sex and relationship psychotherapist Miranda Christophers, founder of the counseling service The Therapy Yard in the UK, shares the six signs you're a sucker - from a lack of confidence, to too regular a sexual routine. She qualifies: "People don't can be 'good' in bed - relaxed, invested, and free - if they feel judged or emotionally insecure," Christophers told the Daily Mail this week, and gave 6 signs you don't want to find in your sex life: The
article is in the masculine language for convenience, and is addressed to women and men as one
Confidence
A couple in bed, not satisfied/ShutterStock
"When you're insecure about your body, you don't feel free to be open or spontaneous, so you respond less freely," Christophers explains.
"You might for example insist on having sex in the dark, or under the covers. Because it can help focus on what you do like, and what feels good."
Christophers advises to work on it - play music, light some candles, set the mood, and imagine moments of sexual success.
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Attention problems
"Good sex is about one's ability to be present and connected, and allow yourself to get lost in the pleasure of it, not even thinking about your next move, as if you were dancing together," Christophers declares.
If you tend to be distracted in bed, the expert suggests practicing mindfulness to help the mind focus on the present, and bring this mindset to the bedroom as well.
embarrassment
A couple in bed, not satisfied/ShutterStock
To have good sex, you need to be able to talk about sex - if you are embarrassed to talk about sex with your partner and don't know how to start at all - start the discussion with a compliment: "It can be something calm like: 'You look good today' or 'Your eyes Really beautiful.' You can also focus the compliment on the connection you're feeling right now" and shared that problematic sex often stems from poor or missing communication.
boredom
If you don't change your routine, this could be a problem.
A Portuguese study published last year in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men tend to report higher levels of sexual boredom in long-term relationships than women.
The internet is full of tips on how to get into a new routine and refresh your sex life, such as changing locations and adding fantasy and toys.
do it
Libido gaps
"Consent means that both partners want sex equally. But there are many reasons why the levels of desire vary," reasons Christopher.
"If you prefer morning sex, and your partner prefers night sex after the day is over and after a shower, you need to talk about it, and find something that suits both of you."
performance anxiety
Sexual performance anxiety affects 9% to 25% of men (and contributes to premature ejaculation) and inhibits sexual desire in 6% to 16% of women according to a 2019 study. Christophers advises reducing stress by focusing on your own physical sensations, rather than your partner's pleasure.
If you don't enjoy the feeling of your own physicality - it will be difficult for your partner to enjoy the interaction.
If you enjoy yourself, on the other hand, the chance that your partner will catch on to your enjoyment of yourself is very high.
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