As of: March 26, 2024, 10:50 p.m
By: Jana Stabener
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Anyone who is on social media will encounter them on every corner: women who are proud to be “just” a mother and housewife.
What's behind it?
A blonde woman with a blue hairband puts her baby in a high chair.
While it's babbling away, she takes a huge jar of foamy sourdough starter off the shelf - and then starts baking bread.
Almost seven million people watch Hannah Neeleman (@ballerinafarm)'s TikTok videos every day.
This makes the 33-year-old probably one of the most successful housewife influencers.
With her TikToks, the mother of eight from Utah conveys the feeling that motherhood and care work are the best things in the world.
She's not the only one.
Anyone who gets into the “Trad Wife” (Traditional Housewives) bubble on TikTok or Instagram finds it difficult to free themselves from the constraints of mothers who are similar to Sad Beige Mums with their cream-colored kitchens.
It appears to be an international phenomenon that has spread from the USA to Europe and Germany.
But what is behind this trad wife trend?
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Trad Wives on TikTok: What's behind it?
For several years now, social media, especially TikTok, has featured videos of young women who want to be #tradwifes.
Why is that?
According to a generation researcher, the younger generation is becoming more conservative, which is why Gen Z appears older than it is.
In science, this behavior is referred to as “neo-conventionalism”.
This new neo-conventionalism clashes with reality: more mothers are working in Germany than ever before.
According to the Federal Statistical Office (Destatis), around 69 percent of mothers of underage children were employed in 2022.
Compared to 2005, the employment rate of mothers has increased by around nine percentage points.
Trad-Wives on TikTok and Instagram: @ballerinafarm and @tradwifefactory © Screenshots @ballerinafarm @tradwifefactory
“What I’m saying now is the most unfeminist thing I’ll ever say,” says TikToker @nemacizkov (see below).
“But I'm tired of working and running the house every day.
And at the end of the day I still don’t have much money.” She does the housework anyway.
The only thing that would change would be that she would have a better work-life balance, which an economist also supports.
She is ashamed of this because she knows that women have fought for equal rights for decades.
Of course she doesn't become a trad wife because she doesn't want to become dependent.
“But sometimes, when everything gets too much for me, I just want to be a housewife.” The Tomato Girls on TikTok, who want to leave their complicated lives behind them, have a similar anti-capitalist mindset.
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More on the topic: “I don’t help my wife clean” – father goes viral with angry speech on TikTok
How the right and the AfD exploit Trad-Wives
The problem: With their desire to slow down and live a “beautiful” housewife life, Trad Wives play into the hands of right-wing extremists who use videos of happy children for their “Nazi propaganda and racial ideology” on TikTok.
The AfD is also committed to returning to the “traditional housewife”.
In October 2022, the AfD Saxony posted a Tradwife meme showing two women.
One is a so-called “tradwife”, i.e. a traditional housewife who “loves her family and her homeland”, the other is a “modern feminist” who has to wear “tons of make-up” because of her low self-confidence and already has her “ “third abortion” (see below).
This meme full of spelling errors appeared on the AfD Saxony's Instagram account - and was deleted shortly afterwards.
© @afd.sachsen via Picuki
There are some Christian or nationalist profiles on Instagram like that of @tradwifefactory (see below), which spread this right-wing image of women into the world and call themselves #GermanTradwife.
However, many housewife influencers consciously avoid the right-wing term trad wife.
Her profile isn't about religion or politics, just about women being able to stay home because they have a choice.
That is exactly what is feminist.
More on the topic: Women on TikTok explain why they prefer to have “reborns” instead of real babies
Why being a “trad wife” is a privilege
Many people forget that being a housewife is a privilege, both economically and financially.
If everyone raises their children at home, on the one hand there will be a lack of skilled workers, and on the other hand, in times of inflation and increased interest rates, it is difficult to support a family on just one salary.
Many women have no choice but to work, especially in the global south, where climate change puts additional strain on women.
Accordingly, the trad wife trend is only an issue in western, rich industrialized countries.
Mother of eight @ballerinafarm also came under fire for portraying herself on TikTok as a simple farmer in a rustic, idyllic country house kitchen while her husband's family has over $400 million.
In addition, the former dancer probably earns huge amounts of money herself from the TikToks about her “simple country life”.
All reasons why the thought of a life as a happy, financially dependent housewife who bakes her own bread may remain just that: a dreamy fantasy that women stressed by work and family use to distract themselves from reality.
More on the topic: TikTok trend predicts a beautiful life, even if the person is no longer 17