The meaning of the word divorced is undergoing a radical change for certain groups of young people who, on social networks, strip it of its negative and old connotations. For them, you are not divorced, you are. It is no longer a marital status, but rather a badge of a woman who has taken the reins of her own life, freeing herself from obsolete conventions and embracing her authenticity without reservations. Shameless and talkative. Without guilt, misery or cats.
“That word has always had a very negative connotation because the separated woman has been unfortunate. Not now. A divorcee is a person who chooses herself, who leaves behind something that is not good for her and who prioritizes taking care of herself. She goes to the things she likes, she enjoys her friends, her free time, without thinking about much more than that. It's a bit of modern
carpe diem
,” says Brontë, sociologist and content creator, frequent user of the word.
In Spain, it has been popularized by different
influencers
, such as the recent successful couple on social networks, Las Verdunch. There is also a clear inspiration coming from the
drag
world , and a rapid spread thanks to television programs like Drag Race. But the one who takes the cake is Carmen Merina (@rayomcqueer), a viral phenomenon that has made the word ring on the devices of thousands of young people. “They set trends when it comes to speaking, especially in certain groups,” says Brontë in reference to the female and LGTBI population. “It's fair to recognize them, especially Lightning McQueer, for changing the way we talk,” she adds.
The plans of “the divorced women” do not include crying at home, distancing themselves from friends or forcing themselves to diet, an archetype to which nineties romantic films have accustomed us. Now, a divorced woman enjoys herself and drinks a
dry martini
in a downtown club in the city at six in the afternoon without any embarrassment. And that's great, life is two days.
What has happened is that the term has undergone a resignification or reappropriation. “We call reappropriation the adoption of words or expressions with pejorative overtones by the community they denigrate, which gives them a new neutral, positive or critical meaning; That is why it is also known as resignification,” explains Nacho Esteban, a linguist specialized in discourse analysis.
This new meaning of divorce is possible thanks to a social and cultural change in the perception of femininity and the role of women in society during recent decades. “Nowadays it is understood that a divorce can be liberating and that it is not so closely linked to gender expectations. There is also more lightness about what a failure is: in a generation that cannot be an adult economically, it is not so important not to fail, because we all already fail a little and nothing happens,” adds Sara Engra, sociolinguist.
The resignification of insults or words with a negative value is a very widespread phenomenon in history, Esteban clarifies. “Jesuit, anarchist or
punk
were derogatory in origin. The word feminist itself began as an insult. Women have been experts in resignifying disqualifiers. Furthermore, reappropriation has been very frequent among racialized groups, as is the case of
nigger
and
Chicano
in the United States or
pied-noir
in France,” he explains. “The
faggot
example
is super clear,” says Brontë. “From an insult it becomes the way we call ourselves. Whenever you are part of an oppressed group, whether socially, by the State or whatever, you tend to create words that identify you and unite with the rest,” she specifies.
One of the groups that has historically made the most use of resignification is the LGTBI group, precisely those who most promote and defend the new philosophy of divorced women now. Although the term is generally in the mouths of the youngest, it is specifically girls and members of the group who usually use it. “Generation Z is not a uniform group: they are people of different ages, genders, origins, political affiliations. No generation is homogeneous in its use of language. These kinds of expressions, such as
PEC
, divorced or
slut
, have arisen rather in politicized LGTBI and cisheterosexual girl environments. It doesn't seem to me that Z cisheterosexual men have led these specific changes,” Engra clarifies. “The new meaning,” Esteban insists, “is linked to divorced and not divorced; “There is a dimension of gender empowerment that probably does not appeal as much to heterosexual men.”
This defense of the useless, the funny, the shameful and self-care is inherent to a generation Z that spends many hours on the internet. “Young people possess many of the traits that favor the appearance of a jargon: they make up an endogamous community, more or less closed, with a subversive, creative, playful and a little cryptic desire; Nobody wants to talk like their parents and, if we can also confuse them, the better. What social networks in particular and the internet in general have done has been to accelerate changes and fashions,” says Esteban.
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For Brontë, the immediacy of networks comes into play, which facilitates the creation of new terms that become famous in a few days and that, in most cases, fall into disuse in a short time. “In networks we are an exacerbated personality of ourselves. We are ourselves, but squared,” says the young man. This exaggeration carries intrinsic humor in many of the actions of young people. The term “divorced,” in this case, also carries some humor. And in the people who are – who do not necessarily have to be middle-aged women, anyone can make divorce plans – a certain degree of madness or derangement is exhibited. “We need humor to claim. Claiming is very tiring, it is mentally exhausting. Resignifying these words with grace is a way of feeling like you are still doing things on a political or activist level,” says Brontë.
Comic ironies are well regarded now because, as Esteban points out, “discrimination is not as stark as before.” “Vindicative needs give way to other functions of language in general and reappropriation in particular, such as humor. It is easier to joke with what seems subversive but that is ultimately a more or less accepted reality and that does not necessarily have to involve suffering,” Esteban points out.
For a generation that, economically and professionally, plays in a dark scenario, the new philosophy of divorce vindicates the small moments of happiness with the group of friends, being oneself. “As long as there is discrimination, pejorative terms and meanings will continue to appear; As they fall into disuse or their main meaning changes, new terms and meanings will be invented to replace them, since each generation comes to renew the worn-out lexical wealth,” Esteban concludes.