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Did you know there is such a thing as sologamy? Yes, it is a symbolic act that is usually taken by women, who are looking to free themselves from the need to get approval from the outside, to shake off the social expectation to get married, for example, or to marry themselves as an act of self-love. In short, it's nonsense, but like any nonsense in the world, it too receives serious treatment and a dictionary definition. At least an attempt to sink a definition. In some articles it is also called solopathy.
According to psychotherapist Veronique Kuhn, it is important to distinguish between solopathy, which is a voluntary choice to be alone, and one that results from fear of relationships or due to trauma. The practice of sologamy as an act of self-love and self-acceptance can allow women to accept and love themselves without falling into the traps of social pressure surrounding traditional marriage. Solopathy represents a form of challenging the patriarchy. On the other hand, if the practice comes from fear of commitment or a painful past, it becomes unhelpful and can sometimes even prevent the person from building long-term balanced relationships. It is important to understand the reasons behind this decision before you marry yourself.
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One woman who married herself in her dream wedding was called a "narcissist" by commenters online. Dani, originally from Florida, who now lives in Los Angeles, spent £3,169 ($4,000) on a wedding to marry herself after embarking on a "self-love journey".
The couture and positivity influencer went viral last year after performing an act of Sologamy - and married herself - but was met with not very positive reactions. "I'm being judged because I spent $4,000 to marry myself. Before the wedding I spent several years in therapy, just trying to find myself. During my self-love journey, I stopped drinking, I stopped having sex, I spent a lot of quality time with myself, I took myself on dates. Just really finding out what I love." Dani says that she never understood what a man's part is on the wedding day because it is "the whole event about the bride" - and admitted that she dreamed of marrying herself since she was a child.
She added: "Why can't I love myself? Why can't I marry myself? I'm not hurting anyone. I planned the wedding before I told anyone about it because I didn't want anyone to discourage me from marrying myself. .” She says that all her family and friends came to support her as she walked down the aisle to reach a giant mirror to which she could direct her vows.
However, not everyone agrees that it makes sense: "The most hurtful comment was people saying that I have to marry myself because no one will want me. What messages are you sending people? That they are not loved, that they are not worthy - that is not true, I can marry A man tomorrow. And maybe that will also happen.
Since she married herself, Dani started dating again in search of a romantic partner, after already finding a deep connection with herself. She said: "I will continue to inspire women and show little girls that loving themselves is the most beautiful thing that they are Can do."
Referring to her unique marriage, one user said: "There is a difference between narcissism and self-love. She loves herself and has self-confidence. As long as she's happy, that's all that matters. Hating her won't make you a better person. "
"You can love yourself without 'marrying' yourself." replies someone "If anything, it shows you don't really love yourself, since you feel the need to meet societal expectations and get married anyway."
"Years ago I spent 4 times that amount To marry a son of a bitch that I left within a year," said another commenter. "If she had called it a 'self-affirmation ceremony,' they wouldn't have said a word about it. She still hopes to find love with a partner. Loving herself will help her find a good person and not just settle for whoever comes along."
Another user wondered: "If you went on a date when you're married to yourself, is that cheating?"