The desire for normality: homosexual kickers report on their experiences

Wolfratshausen - In hardly any other area of ​​society is it such a big taboo topic as in popular sport number one: There has always been a shell of silence about homosexuality among footballers.

So far there has not been a kicker in the Bundesliga who has come out during his active career.

A few weeks ago, 800 Bundesliga professionals showed their solidarity with a campaign.

“You have our support” was the title of the open letter published by a football magazine.

Outing for homosexual footballers is obviously a problem not only in professional football: there are only very few cases in amateur football - but now a few more.

Since he has been playing in the B-Juniors, Rico Krillmäuer has made no secret of it: He is one of the few openly homosexual footballers in the district.

The long-time captain of TuS Geretsried II is happy that he dared to take the step 17 years ago to open up to the team.

"Back then I was lucky that I had great guys on the team, so I dared," says Krillmäuer, who is now lace up his shoes for ASC Geretsried in the A-Class.

Nobody had a problem with his orientation within the teams for which he was active - "maybe also because I was a very good kicker," he recalls with a laugh.

Lots of questions before the outing - and lots of support afterwards

Of course, he asked himself questions before his outing: “How do you think the others will react?

And you don't know in advance whether you can put up with the reaction yourself. ”The 34-year-old was relieved after his outing: He received a lot of support from his sports buddies.

Laurin Bauer experienced a slightly different story.

The now 21-year-old opened at the same age as Krillmäuer.

Actually, he had only dared to take the step in school, "but I knew that word would get around as far as football," he says.

"Shortly after my outing, I only played in the second B-Junior team," says Bauer.

Looking back, he doubts whether the coaching decision was really only for sporting reasons.

Especially because one of his trainers asked him for an interview afterwards: "It was made clear to me that I could look for another team because there were probably other players who had a problem with my homosexuality."

From the team "nobody said anything about it"

A shock to the young man.

Because it is precisely this reaction that many are afraid of, and it prevents many athletes from coming out.

The fear of being cast out has come true for Bauer.

But: “A teammate never said anything to me.

I don't think that a teammate really had a big problem with that. ”Bauer suspects that the older generation - ergo: someone from the officials - wanted to get rid of the gay kicker.

The full-back from Achmühle decided to change clubs and was welcomed positively by his new colleagues at DJK Waldram.

"It was about playing football and what kind of person you are on the team." Who you love in your private life, to whom you feel drawn, "That was never an important topic, especially not a sensitive one", recalls he himself.

All teammates would have known anyway.

“I made no secret of it.” In the meantime, his partner watches regularly when Bauer is on the pitch for the DJK Waldram.

"The fact that this is possible is simply part of normality for me."

“It was always a game of hide and seek,” says Stephan Berger

Wolfratshauser Stephan Berger has longed for exactly this, a normality, for years.

The 39-year-old is homosexual - but nobody was allowed to know that.

"It was always a game of hide-and-seek when you were out and about with your friends from football," he says.

In the "absolute male domain of football", Berger feared that some teammates would turn their backs on him if he publicly confessed.

"And there is just a lot of damn stupid talk on the football field," says the long-time goalkeeper and current trainer.

Stephan Berger did not want to expose himself to this.

“Sure,” says Rico Krillmäuer from Geretsrieder, sometimes ugly words are spoken on the football field.

"Sometimes a teammate gets upset about a gay passport," he knows.

"But there is a difference between careless, stupid sayings in emotions and seriously discriminatory statements against homosexuals." He never heard the latter, "not even from opponents or viewers".

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Rico Krillmäuer (right) is one of the few district kickers who are open about their homosexuality.

He has therefore never experienced discrimination.

© Hans Lippert

At some point he got tired of the constant game of hide-and-seek

Berger knows these worries.

“I was hiding from the world, maybe out of fear of being rejected,” he says.

Until a few days ago he decided: “I'm sick of the game of hide and seek.” He would now like to take the risk of coming out publicly.

At his former coaching station, TSV Wolfratshausen, a few decision-makers knew about Berger's private life.

The outings in front of the friends and the club officials went smoothly, the Wolfratshauser received support - and understanding that the opening was not easy for him.

“A huge stone falls from your heart,” says Berger.

He hopes his public outing will help young footballers who are in the same position as he was a few years ago.

“I understand anyone who thinks they have to keep it a secret.

I've tried it myself long enough, ”he says thoughtfully.

"But I am convinced that this topic should slowly become the norm in popular sport as well."

This is the opinion of farmers and krill masons for a long time.

"The more people have the courage to open up," says Krillmäuer, "the faster normal everyday life can become a reality for gay footballers."

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