Naomi Osaka at the US Open: "I want to finish this"

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Not herself: Naomi Osaka

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ED JONES / AFP

Only once did Naomi Osaka look up and look overhead in the press conference room at her manager.

With her chin on her hand, she mumbled in his direction that she wanted to tell everyone here what they both had discussed privately in the hallway.

And then came this sentence, which, written here and translated from English, sounds so much clearer than she could get it across in a broken voice: “Lately, when I win, I'm not happy, it feels more like a relief and when I lose I am very sad. "

It is a statement that may not come as a surprise about Osaka, but it is frightening.

Because this sentence tells so much about that top player, with whom everyone asked themselves before the US Open: How will Naomi Osaka perform in New York?

Also the theme of the games

Mental health has often been an issue in sport, but never with such impact as in the past few months.

The open words of the record Olympic athlete Michael Phelps about his depression and anxiety as well as his constant struggle since then for greater attention to the topic that has been ignored in sport for far too long have been the most famous example so far.

Talking about fear of failure, feeling pressure as a burden - this is still all too often seen as a weakness.

A burden maybe, yes, but one that you have to endure as an athlete.

Especially when you earn millions with your sport.

Osaka also had to put up with this accusation when it announced before the French Open that it would stay away from the compulsory press conferences.

"I have often noticed that people do not take the mental health of the athletes into account, and I am aware of that again and again at press conferences," wrote the world number two on Instagram at the time.

Many initially saw this as an excuse that Osaka was simply not in the mood for press conferences, and that it was part of her job that had given the currently highest-paid female athlete in the world an extremely privileged life.

In fact, Osaka's statement showed a rather problematic understanding of the media, as she also wrote that she did not want to expose herself to people who question her.

And also about the post office itself and the boycott as a means can be argued.

That Osaka was not instrumentalizing the issue of mental health for a selfish agenda became clear a little later when she withdrew from the tournament in the wake of a threatened disqualification and at the same time made anxiety and depression public for the first time.

A later cancellation of the Grand Slam at Wimbledon seemed only logical.

Even at the Olympic Games in Tokyo, where the Japanese, who grew up in the USA, was made the face of the Games, the pressure seemed to paralyze her.

Sponsorship appointments and photo shoots

By then, the discussion about mental health had long since reached the world's largest sports stage. US gymnastics star Simone Biles made sure of that with her exit in the team finals at the games and her open statements. Hardly a press conference, be it skating, swimming, running or wrestling, in which the topic was not addressed. Many athletes have given her courage, shown her respect and reported of their own problems. Biles, in turn, named Osaka as a role model for dealing with mental pressure. For giving your own health the highest priority. And stop if necessary. No matter what people think.

Since withdrawing from the French Open and knocking out the last 16 at the Olympics, the question arose as to when and how Osaka, one of the few superstars on the tour, would return to New York. To where it became a promise for the future when she defeated Serena Williams in the 2018 final. To where she won her third Grand Slam title in 2020 and at the same time became a sports icon of the Black Lives Matter movement. Especially since Osaka appeared in magazines with photo spreads and interviews during her break. Many see it as a contradiction that she uses her popularity aggressively and purposefully, while at the same time speaking of pressure from the media and the claims that arise from it.

Before the start of the US Open, Osaka attended one of these sponsorship appointments and inaugurated tennis courts in Detective Keith L Williams Park, a meeting place for street athletes in the New York borough of Queens. Where little Naomi had hit her first balls when she was three years old. Later she talked casually about this experience, but also admitted how difficult it was for her to ignore all the problems on the pitch. She says this in a firm voice and with a focus on the questioner. A week earlier, she had tearfully interrupted a press conference at the WTA tournament in Cincinnati.

Then she spoke up again on Instagram, this time not with a magazine cover or a sponsorship article. It again offered a remarkable insight into the world of her thoughts. She had thought a lot about the past year, about why she felt, how she felt, and she had come to the realization that she always thinks that she is not good enough. But that should now be over, she will at least try to celebrate herself and her achievements more often. "We should all do that," she added: "Your life is yours, and you shouldn't let yourself be judged by the standards of others." want.

And now, after she was eliminated in the third round at the US Open against 18-year-old Canadian Leylah Fernandez, "behaved like a little child" on the pitch and revealed to the world what she had previously only with her manager had discussed, her tears came again. The moderator wanted to end the press conference, but Osaka shook her head: "I want to finish this." Her voice broke almost completely now, she could hardly get the next words out. You must now find out how to proceed. "I think I'll take a break from playing tennis for a while." A decision to celebrate.