Three corners, a penalty and assholes
Created: 06/08/2022 13:01
By: Dieter Priglmeir
We pull out the pen and stop the time.
Who will get the first ten-minute penalty in Erdinger amateur football and when?
My tip: Nobody, at least not this week.
Not because we don't have hot-blooded and/or over-the-top kickers.
Rather, because our referees will not make use of this possibility of punishment for the time being.
A high-ranking official in Erding told us that.
You just feel badly informed.
The annoyance of our referees at not having received any useful instructions as to what actually deserves a time penalty and what doesn't is correspondingly great.
Well then, let's wait and see when the first bad boy or bad girl is in the penalty box.
And we are excited to see what other things the association could come up with.
Green card like in hockey?
Net time like in ice hockey?
Or the excruciating time-keeping like at the end of every basketball game?
It's all far too complicated - but that doesn't necessarily bother the association.
Basically, it wouldn't be wrong at all to give the referee a little more power and opportunities.
What childish things they sometimes have to deal with on the pitch – oh my.
But even the thickest rule book doesn't help.
Here - and really only here - one wishes for a few disciplinary measures of the old school.
Anyone who misbehaves will be put in the corner.
In the case of repeat offenders, "three corners, one penalty" applies - to quote an old football rule (of course completely misinterpreted).
Hihi, that would be something if the referee, i.e. the game master, were equipped with such competencies.
A few more ideas: Anyone who yells at a foul game as if they had to amputate at least their foot will write 100 times by the next week: “Football is a contact sport.
Not every touch is murder.”
Swallow kings collect a round of ass studs.
Time wasters are ordered to dial into the telephone queues of Telekom, Sky and the claims settlement of an insurance company every day until the next game.
Or they choose the other loop – and run traffic circuits.
Last suggestion: teams with at least three yellow cards for complaining must take a cold shower afterwards.
Don't come at me with Amnesty International.
No, this is not torture.
We've known that since city master builder Sebastian Henrich declared: "Nobody has the right to hot water when taking a shower."
Or we just leave it at football, which we like to get worked up about week after week.
And that's exactly why we love it.
Guitar, beer table and other weapons in Erding
Julia Thiem: "Miss Bundesliga" bites her teeth
Better ideas than the time penalty