Brazil's visit to the Bernabéu this Tuesday to face Spain (9:30 p.m., La1) began to take shape in May of last year at Mestalla, in the match that Vinicius stopped to point out the people who were shouting racist insults at him from the stands.

That afternoon there was a moment after the stop when the Brazilian's eyes filled with tears.

He hesitated whether to leave the field.

Carlo Ancelotti, the coach, asked him if he was fit to continue, and he chose to stay.

This Monday, on the eve of the match, Vinicius appeared before the media with the Brazilian shield in the press room of the Real Madrid sports city, spoke about the racism that he has been suffering for months in Spain and ended with tears similar to those of that day.

It was after about ten minutes of answers about the attacks and the sadness that is accumulating.

And about the impulse she feels to continue raising her voice like that afternoon she raised her arm to point out the racists in the stands.

“I want black people to be able to have a normal life like everyone else.

I want to continue fighting just for that;

because if not, I would stay at home and they wouldn't be able to do anything to me.

I go to the games with my head focused on playing, to be able to do the best for my team and sometimes it is not always possible, and then, I have to concentrate a lot, every day.”

At that point, she broke down.

He put his hand to his eyes, which were brimming with tears.

She looked down, snorted, wiped away her tears again.

She tried to reorganize her breathing and managed to add: “I just want to play soccer.

I just want to give everything for my club and my family..."

She could not continue, and part of the large group of journalists present, especially the Brazilians, filled the moment with applause.

As Ancelotti did that day at Mestalla, Rodrigo Paiva, the press officer of the Brazilian federation (CFB), asked him what to do: "I asked him if he wanted to continue, and he wants to continue."

For days, when they agreed that he would appear before the match, everyone knew that it would be a difficult time for the footballer.

His work team advised against it.

They thought it was not the best way to protect the player.

However, they were also aware of what the objective of the friendly is, the cause to which he wants to contribute, and the effort that he has shown, despite the suffering it causes him.

“Every day, every complaint, makes me very sad,” he said.

“But it is not just me, but all black people who, not only in Spain, but throughout the world, suffer from verbal racism on a daily basis.”

The seed of his commitment was planted long ago, as he recalled this Monday: “My father had difficulty working because he was black.

When they had to choose between him and a white man, they always chose a white man.”

His father, the Vinicius that makes him Vini Jr., made a living as a telephone cable installer.

He is clear about the objective of his fight, but also the price it entails: “It is a very difficult thing.

I have fought a lot because of everything that has happened to me.

It is exhausting, because after all the complaints they have not punished anyone,” he said.

“I have less and less desire to play.”

There are a dozen processes underway involving different racist episodes against Vinicius.

The president of LaLiga, Javier Tebas, who has filed these complaints, announced on Sunday in an interview in EL PAÍS that they expect the first sentences in the next two months.

But the journey is becoming long for the footballer, who described this Monday the consequences of pointing out racism in Spanish stadiums: “Since my first complaint, things have been getting worse, because since they are not punished they know that they can act as everything and that all the words that are said to me because of the color of my skin can affect me on the field,” he explained.

“I just want to play.

"I just want to be well and be able to go to all the fields in Spain with the peace of mind that no one is going to judge me for the color of my skin."

He also made an effort to define the scope of the problem.

After the match at Mestalla last year, he wrote on his social networks that in Brazil they were beginning to see Spain as a racist country.

“With each complaint, more people insult me.

They think it is against Spain, but it is not against Spain, but against all racists, wherever they are from.”

Although he does believe that there is not enough firmness against these behaviors: "In Spain, racism is not a crime, and that makes everything more complicated."

He regretted that in Spanish stadiums scenes like those that do happen in Brazil cannot be seen, where the police have detained some people who had carried out racist attacks against footballers.

cultural problem

He sees institutional coverage still halfway there.

He mentioned the meetings that he or those around him have had with FIFA, UEFA, and even with LaLiga, with which he was very critical after the Mestalla afternoon: “LaLiga is trying to improve.

“They have had meetings with me, and they want to change, but it is complicated for them.”

He understands that cultural factors also operate that make it difficult for some white people to understand what he goes through: "At 23 years old, I have to teach what racism is, that it really affects me, that my family is sad at home..." lament.

There is a good part of the suffering that Vinicius has taken more internally, even without sharing it much in the locker room, as his teammate, and this Tuesday rival, Dani Carvajal, explained a few hours before in the Ciudad del Fútbol of Las Rozas: “He will comment on it in his most private environment... We in the locker room, for our part, help him as much as we can."

Vinicius' words and tears found immediate support from some footballers, such as former Real Madrid player Varane: “You are powerful.

You are special, Vini.

Your dreams and your inspiration are stronger than any words they have used against you,” he tweeted.

You are powerful.

You are special @vinijr ✊🏾

Your dreams and inspiration are stronger than any words that can ever be used against you.

pic.twitter.com/a47MWEDRHa

— Raphaël Varane (@raphaelvarane) March 25, 2024

The Brazilian, who has been studying racism for months to understand it and combat it better, is not going to deviate from his fight: “Playing football is very important, but fighting against racism is very important,” he said.

“I want a five-year-old child in the future not to go through everything I'm going through.

If it weren't for that, he would give up on me.”

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