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Dictionary of bizarre Wi-Fi names: In a LAN before our time


"Heidi without cable", "Ramses pyramid rental" and "Martin Router King": The author Helen Stelthove explored how people name their networks - and decode the meanings of the messages.

Man has many possibilities to express his individuality: about his clothes, about his taste in music, about self-potted bell signs. Or the name of his Wi-Fi network.

Of course, there are people who learn only when setting up the network by instructions from this option and then frightfully enter the first thing that comes to mind, such as "doner dish". However, anyone who deliberately makes a choice wears his message proudly out into the world, comparable to a flag in front of the house, according to author Helen Stelthove.

The communications designer has collected around 2,400 WLAN names in 13 German cities and has grouped over 400 of them in an "incomplete dictionary". Her book "Pretty Fly For A Wifi" has just been published by Duden-Verlag - with almost 500 pages, for 15 euros. "Wi-Fi names are invisible communication that, like the flag mentioned earlier, is visible with a mobile phone," writes Helen Stelthove.

Moritz Baßler, Professor of Modern German Literature and Cultural Poetics at the University of Münster, who has contributed an essay, even compares the tracking of wireless LAN names by mobile phone with the game app "Pokémon Go". The names themselves allowed "a deep insight into the abysses of our contemporary culture," writes Baßler.

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Helen Stelthove
Pretty Fly For A Wifi: The incomplete dictionary of Wi-Fi names in Germany

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Insults and animal housing

Abysses are in the list. Likewise, there are many creative, funny and puzzling names such as "a righteous Wi-Fi" as well as word games that make reading entertaining (a selection can be found in our quote gallery). The collected names provide media references and insults, but they also refer to animal housing or football. In a data section of the book, the reader learns, among other things, that the football club most often named in Wi-Fi name is by far the FC St. Pauli across cities and that the people of Leipzig have a striking affinity to cats.

Ten Wi-Fi names from the book


According to Helen Stelthove's book, this WLAN name says: "As a so-called elephant skin, a protection for wallpapers and walls can be acquired in the hardware store.


Stelthove explains: "The Hollywood animated film 'In a Country Before Our Time' was released in German cinemas in 1989 and is about the little dinosaur orphan Littlefoot, who is on an adventurous journey to the Great Valley with his four friends Hope to find food there. "


Comments Stelthove: "Those born into the Internet, smartphone and tablet world are emerging as so-called" digital natives. "Those familiar with the latest digital technologies are often asked for advice and support by tribal elders, the digital aliens."


"For a spontaneous separation or an ego boost, the website can lead, which converts the value of the friend or the friend into camels," comments Stelthove this name. "In addition to height, weight and hair color, factors include beard growth and cup size."


"Heidi Kabel [* 1914, † 2010] was a German folk actress from Hamburg", summarizes Stelthove. "Born opposite the former headquarters of the Ohnsorg Theater, where she gained widespread publicity with Low German roles throughout her career, her career spanned 75 years as an actress, singer [in Hamburg they say goodbye] and radio play spokeswoman."


Here the author has a word: "Aha."


And it says: "Okay."


In this case, Stelthove writes: "The American hip-hop group Wu Tang Clan is considered one of the most influential rap groups in their genre, and nearly all of the band members have had solo success, including: RZA, Method Man, Raekwon and Ol 'Dirty Bastard. "


"Ramses II [* around 1303 BC, † 1213 BC] was an Egyptian pharaoh and ruled for about 66 years," explains the author on this name. "He is considered one of the most important rulers of ancient Egypt and commissioned many buildings in his time.His fondness for gigantic buildings, which were quickly pulled up, but which lacked quality.


Helen Stelthove writes: "The American Baptist pastor Martin Luther King was the leading figure of the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s, winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964 for his peaceful campaign against discrimination against blacks, and four years later he became a victim an assassination. "


"The Duden defines educationally as' not interested in education." A derogatory term for 'lower class' "is the name of this name. "In plain language: lower-middle-class or an elitist precariat.


The book title is also explained: "A reminiscence of the song Pretty Fly by the band The Offspring from the year 1989. The text is about the type of man who tries with the utmost seriousness and by all means, cool to be, and terrific fails. "

Stelthove writes that the names turned out to be little puzzles of contemporary culture. Their resolutions, which the author fortunately always delivers, are often interesting. So Stelthove came across two networks lying together, whose names put together the quote "Causarum Enim Cognitio Cognitionem Eventorum Facit!" of the Roman writer Cicero: The knowledge of the causes causes the knowledge of the results. "Bringing up knowledge in Latin and the addicting ability to set up a second Wi-Fi connection," comments Stelthove. "Knowledge of the cause: great ego.

The network name "World Peace" states: "No plural. Most frequently mentioned wish of the participants of beauty contests and Missions". To the "ass potato Seehofer" explains Stelthove meanwhile, who is Seehofer, with the addition that this had "not agreed in matters of asylum policy" with Angela Merkel. The author comments on the "New Delhi elephant laundry": "Reference to a wallpaper protection called elephant skin," Wet abrasion resistance class I according to DIN EN 13300. "

Helen Stelthove / Dudenverlag

This is how most pages look in the book

Greetings to the neighbors

The network names are documented in "Pretty Fly For A Wifi" as a screenshot of the mobile phone display, the book is fittingly tall and narrow. Above the pictures you can see in which city and in which district the screenshots were taken, the resolution can be found on the page.

The chosen form of presentation makes it very clear how some names - consciously or unconsciously - refer to each other. For example, there are the "Taskforce Drug Detective" and the "Covert Dealer" in the immediate vicinity, as well as the networks "Office Stallions" and "Dasrudeltolltweilderrubelrollt".

Ultimately, the book is most likely worthwhile for readers who like plowing through lists and who can be inspired by puns around "WLAN", "Wifi" and "Router". In any case, the Duden-Werk is good as an inspiration when it comes to naming the next own network. In any case, in the neighborhood of the author of this text, another network has been added to "Kartoffelsalat" and "Torbis Schlemmerküche". It bears the name of Stelthoves Dictionary.

Source: spiegel

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