culture
on the agenda
That too happened this week
Nodding on a date about sex is out of the question.
Certainly when it's in front of the whole country in the "wedding"
If at Ben and Manor's dinner it was he who uttered "we did not lie" to the stunned waitress, we would state (well, they state) that he was a dosh, but it was she who crossed the line.
It has nothing to do with any dual morality that requires women to be pious, but rather with unacceptable behavior on a date, certainly if it is broadcast during peak viewing.
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A wedding at first sight
Strider Schleider Putschnik
Friday, 23 July 2021, 00:09
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Promo "Wedding at First Sight" (Rainbow 12)
A couple they recently met, sitting at the dinner table on one of their first dates.
This is not their first date.
They have already gotten to know each other a little and all in all it seems that there is chemistry and mutual interest between them.
They had also already crossed the initial contact barrier, it had already turned out that they had kissed and hugged, but it was clear that everything was still in its immature stages.
They still do not feel comfortable with each other.
A waitress approaches them. The menus have not yet landed on the white cloth tablecloth that covers the table. She asks them a question - maybe which wine they prefer, maybe she wanted to find out if there is anything they do not eat, allergies? "We did not lie down" - one of the couple shoots her. The embarrassment is evident both on the waitress' body language and on the other spouse, who is cringing in his chair, but at least the waitress knows that in half a minute she will be able to get out of this awkward situation, which is impossible to say about the spouse. In the few minutes that will pass between the waitress' departure and return with a bottle of wine and a corkscrew (perhaps for self-defense?) The possibility of sex will be raised, and not gently or implicitly two or three more times.
I deliberately try to describe the situation in a vague way, although according to Hatmoni's ratings data, it is likely that most readers have watched this scene and know that it is a manor and son couple and also know who is active and who is passive in it.
Manor's aggressive mobs, whose pre-eminence was clearly about seven levels more intense than that of her partner who matched her (and four levels above average temperament), created a cringy situation to watch.
But somehow I got out of the episode with the feeling that getting rid of it at Cringe is not really fair or enough.
More on Walla!
The whole bride is butterflies and dragons, but not pleasant to say - it seems that Ben is not interested
To the full article
Cringe situation to watch.
Manor and Ben's date (Photo: Keshet, screenshot)
If the gender roles were reversed in this scene, and the man was the one throwing the unsuccessful joke of "We Didn't Lie" to the stunned waitress, we would immediately state (well, states) that he was a dosh.
And when he would explicitly talk about sex and why have we not had sex yet and when will we already have sex ???
In the following minutes, it was already clear to us that something very inappropriate was happening here, on the verge of harassment.
Alignment
There are, however, two mitigating circumstances to which Manor is credited: the first is the spouse who is betrothed to her - a gardener with a special education specialization. A person who is accustomed to dealing with an audience that does not know how to reject gratifications and knows how to set boundaries for them. The second is more universal and concerns the fact that the comparison between the inappropriate sexual behavior of men and women cannot be made with absolute value, without also addressing historical power gaps and inequalities in almost every field. In general, men are sexually threatened by women less than women who are sexually threatened by them.
The Abing Sad Date, as they say - it is definitely worthwhile to place this limit in front of Manor and anyone who has a doubt that exerting such pressure is not acceptable behavior, neither in dating nor in prime time. And Ben did well when he addressed it on the spot. Even if extremely gently.
It is easy to see that in this specific match, manor, the female side, is the driving force.
Her pace is faster, her emotions are more intense, and she is clearly a woman who initiates and does and goes about things without fear.
That's cool.
It's fun to see, meaning it was fun to see up to the point where it crossed a border.
It has nothing to do with her sexuality or any double standard that requires women to be modest and pious and act as if sex is something they are persuaded to do and not something they love, enjoy and initiate themselves.
On the contrary, it is the alignment of a justified boundary that says what voice and not voice to do on a date.
A different rhythm.
The wedding of Manor and Ben (Photo: screenshot, Keshet 12)
If Manor had looked at her partner's face and reactions carefully, she could have seen the signs of discomfort.
By the way, she saw them at some point, and calmed the pressure a bit.
She also referred to it in the testa (this part where she seems to talk to the camera and retrospectively interpret the scenes in which she herself appears), and said she is used to this rhythm and she wants things at her own pace and she knows she will have to adjust to her partner's rhythm.
This is a good start.
But it would have been better to address it more directly and say, "Wow I exaggerated. Sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. It's wrong, and I'll really try not to let that happen again."
Beyond nagging someone to have sex is about the most non-horny thing in the country, in some situations it can be really disturbing.
When, for example?
A good sign of this is if your date is broadcast while watching the climax and on couches all over the country people are dying to death.
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