The cover of the book "Rosenfeld", by Maya Kessler (photo: Kinneret-Zamora)
From Chapter 3 - There is no one left
"So what's the budget? How much do you need?"
I look up from my computer screen.
Here's Teddy, standing at my desk again, this time wearing a short button-up shirt.
"I still do not know."
"About how much?"
"I don't want to say just that. I'll sit down with the producer and prepare an orderly budget and submit it to you."
"Okay, no problem. How are you?"
"are good."
I look at him and hold my hands so as not to touch him.
"I see."
He smiles at me and walks away.
You have to understand that there are days I just have to.
It really hurts between my legs and it takes over my body and mind.
And now I'm sitting here, I can still smell him, this man who drives me crazy.
Ten minutes pass in which I keep thinking about him and his cock - and here, the sound of a message.
What are you doing?
Yes, give me an attitude right away.
I will answer honestly.
Thinking of you.
then what?
It will only piss me off more.
I see that the space is free and consider what to do.
What does he really want?
Another message.
Well
, he wants me to come.
I go into his room, close the door.
"here."
I sit down on the chair opposite him.
He leans back and runs a hand over the back of his head.
I look at the inside of his arm, bright and smooth and I want to touch it.
"Why are you like that?"
"So how?"
I look at him teasingly, my legs are aligned forward, one on top of the other and I shake my bottom defiantly.
"Restless."
He examines me with sympathetic eyes.
"you know why."
"I know why?"
"I think so."
He is silent for a moment, looks at me, lowers the arm that was behind his head, "Maybe in the evening."
"Maybe now."
"
"I have a meeting in-" He glances at his watch, "Less than half an hour. Can't leave the office."
"You don't have to leave the building."
"where?"
he asks.
"In a stairwell."
"What are you talking about? Too dangerous."
"Not on our floor. Up all the way, there's a quiet area there. I checked."
"Did you check? Is that what you're doing here in the office?"
"Among other things, yes."
We look at each other, keep silent and smile.
I say almost without a voice, but with a clear lip movement, "I want you."
"Hold back."
He answers me quietly.
I look at him.
He looks back at me, my heart picks up its pace.
I take a breath.
He smiles a small, relaxed smile.
I shove my hand down my pants and keep looking at him.
His composure retreated.
I insert my fingers until I feel what I was looking for there, take my hand out and stand up.
He looks at me intently and nods with his head "no" in a movement that is almost impossible to notice, but I lean forward a little and straighten my hand up to his face and he immediately grabs my palm and clasps it together and takes a deep breath.
"What is this behavior? Who acts like this, can you tell me?"
"Media Department."
He pushes his chair back and stands, "Come on, show me your place."
Another chapter 3
"I need to pee."
"I'm holding!"
"You and your bullshit. Leave me alone."
"You don't condone my penis jealousy. I'm suffocated in this house!!!"
He laughs.
"Come monster, come make a dream come true."
He walks towards the bathroom and I jump after him.
Writer Maya Kessler (photo: Tomer Applebaum)
From Chapter 5 - The Scariest Mountain
A few seconds after we say goodbye to Roi and he goes out into the street, a flood begins.
It's typical - after all, it's my brother's luck.
But maybe what happened tonight changes world order?
I look out into the darkness and see him running in the rain until he disappears from my field of vision.
I know, the day will come and all this will not be mine.
Teddy stood beside me, hands in his pockets, looking out the window with me.
"What am I supposed to do with such disturbed giving?"
"Who are you asking?"
"you."
"Me? I don't answer nice answers."
"Still asking."
"Say thank you and shut up."
I turn my head and look at him.
"How can I confess with my mouth shut?"
I ask without a hint of humor.
"First, thank you."
he explains.
"Thanks."
I obey.
"And now shut up."
I bow my head.
The rain outside stops.
I see Roy's eyes when I told him the good news, the uncomprehending look.
A terrible sadness washes over me, takes over my whole mind and body and the surrounding air.
It's not the demand that I shut up that makes me sad, but the gratitude.
The eyes begin to burn and the tears fall down because of the bent angle of the head.
My vision is blurry, and the drops are gone before they even hit the carpet.
He looks at me, examines me with interest and then places his palm on the back of my head - not exactly placing, more like taking ownership of the back of my head - and leans down to the side of my face.
"give me a break."
His tone is not demanding, but not condescending either.
"I can not."
I say as my head is still turned down and the crying doesn't let up.
"I do not believe you."
"Okay."
"I can't believe you can't."
"Okay."
"Because I don't need you to stand here right now and cry, and yes you can not talk to me about it beyond what is necessary."
"Why can't I talk to you about this?"
"Because I do not want to."
I raise my head, he doesn't move his hand.
I look at him.
Yes, I understand what he is asking of me.
"OK."
I accept the conditions with my head held high.
His eyes still studying me, "Yes?"
"Yes."
I confirm to him, as if I were the older and responsible sister of the one who just cried here.
He nods slowly.
"Is that what you were taught? Not to feel comfortable receiving gifts?"
He loosens his grip and leaves the back of my neck, "And what's the logic, can you explain to me? There are parents and they don't have enough to give to their children. So they go and educate them not to feel comfortable receiving. What comes of it?"
"That they learn to achieve things on their own?"
"And what do you think happened here? You got Roy what he needed, on your own. That's what it boils down to."
And after he concludes, he turns and walks away, leaving me standing by the window, without him.
"Rosenfeld" / Maya Kessler.
Kinneret Zamora Publishing.
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Chapter One
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Maya Kessler
Rosenfeld - a book
