Wedding (Wedding, Sagittarius 12)
Every reality show has a tedious opening. In Big Brother it's the presentation of the characters, in the next star it's the auditions, and in my wedding it's a festival of sponsorships and conversations with Yael that lasts about a quarter of a season. After a charming but dreary opening episode, we proceed to meet a new couple who—you wouldn't believe it—are also measuring clothes. As mentioned in my previous column, my wedding rests on the flower arrangements, and the episode doesn't give us much to work with, but as usual, we'll bite our hips to justify our dismal viewing choices.
Moshe and Noam
Moshe, a 32-year-old sealing business owner, arrives with the dog Sufa, and besides an unusual gender approach to dogs, he also has a particularly difficult backstory. I was already worried that the guessing game "What's wrong with these parents" would begin again, which began with Einav's parents being introduced from the previous episode, but Yael no longer has the patience for defense and rattles Moshe until he comes out confessional. His parents, it turns out, are former drug addicts who entered a rehab facility when he was young, leaving him to grow up with his grandmother with no other choice. They also divorced, but who cares at this point.
You can criticize Yael for her lack of ethics until further notice, but in the end someone has to do the dirty work on this reality show. It is impossible that all the emotional baggage is implied and floating in the background, and anyone who comes to such a program knows that he will have to put the kink in front of the camera. Anyway, the operation is successful, the confession is pulled out and Yael finds it super masculine, and sensitive and strong, oh, I mean, it means the dog.
Black work. Yael and Moshe (Screenshot, Keshet 12)
This extreme case has no choice but to match Noam, a 36-year-old social worker, even though she stressed, of course, that this is the last type of man she wants to match. Her demand is completely understandable, because from the moment she opens her mouth, it is clear that there is a therapist, lecturing and excessively insecure personality here, and if there is anything destructive about a girl like her, it is to match her with a patient.
In the opposite mirror to Moshe, Noam had parents who were both parental and marital role models, only the father passed away a year and three months ago, in order to indulge her in some lack of a father figure for seasoning this cocktail of triggers. Say, when do you get to the funny and stupid couple you can make memes about? My wedding, Pride Month to remind you. Pick up.
A minute and a half to get to know Noam, and the experts have already determined three times that she will have to "contain him," when there is, of course, no expectation of containment from the other side. Well, it's not new to us that the most toxic relationship on this show is between contestants and experts. The only one who dares to say openly that this match is more explosive than a parade in Bnei Brak is Maayan, whose advice does not contribute to the ratings and may therefore be allowed to speak once every four episodes. By the way of marches in Bnei Brak, it is clear that if anything, on the way, they will match conservative and liberal.
Therapeutic. Noam (Screenshot, Keshet 12)
The happy bride and groom (because they have not yet known) go to tell their parents that they are a bride and groom, and in the process, Moshe's parents are exposed, an exposure that is not obvious in light of everything we know about them. It's interesting that his mother asks him how he is with the exposure just when he feels how hard it is for him with her, with both of them, in fact - with the exposure and with his mother together. His interaction with her screams, "I built walls of emotional barriers to protect myself," and it's only a matter of time before Yael likens my roof sealant to my heart. Based on this, Noam will need a bulldozer to grope her way there. Luckily, Moshe's father is here to make a groom happy: "Don't have a cupico come to you with boots." Say, when do you do a season with the parents of the participants only?
Time for measurements and preparations. I will take this opportunity to turn to the production of "My Wedding" with a final request from the heart, and I will not compensate any more on the subject: I beg, reap fools. We've already seen all the wedding dresses. All of them: with a rift, without a rift, modest, exposed, with a gay designer and with another gay designer. We've heard all the emotion-laden letters that strangers dedicate straight from the heart of GPS chat. Sponsorships should, but allowed to shrink. Noam received a bottle of alcohol as a gift to pass it all on, Moshe received orgasmic toils, but what about me?
Soon Moshe will also experience a sugar slump - in the face of the bride's shocking age, 36, only four years above him. By coincidence, or not, the same is true of our former bride, Einav. Once again, age raises comments and raised eyebrows from friends, and I ask how much more shaming women who crossed 30 without settling down will go through on this show. None of the grooms were asked how they got their age without finding a relationship, and their late singleness is never a sign of anything wrong with them. To counterbalance this insult, at the same time in the parental sphere, Noam's mother and the most Ashkenazi man in the world patronize Moshe's Moroccan mother from Petach Tikva straight in her face. There's something mesmerizing about the old generation's willingness to be racist, in full presence, as if there was racism performing at Eurovision, as if it's not something they're supposed to apologize for.
Engage in judgment. Moshe (Screenshot, Keshet 12)
But Moses is completely unaware of all this, and is preoccupied with judgments of his own. In light of the compliments and looks and a little hand touch, it seems that Noam does like him in general, and yet, behind her back, he mainly raises thoughts of age. Their slow dance is sweet on his face, providing a moment of emotional discovery, but also a comment on how her stress calms him down and that the calm is stressful. Did someone say "Danny and Shani"? I don't think, by the way, that she's calm at all – transparent that her nervous giggle is meant to quiet anxiety. It's also not her calmness that makes him nervous, it's the one she feels inauthentic to, and rightly so.
So I wonder what compliments he is loading her with. What is it, politeness? Or maybe that's how he tried to convince himself that everything was okay? The matter becomes clear in the car: Moshe may really think Noam is great, but mostly he is preparing the ground to land the elephant between them, that is, age. Noam replies that as far as she is concerned, age is not a function, that it is a bit of naiveté, because let's admit that age is a bit honest, especially if you are a man and a woman and one of the parties thinks about children, and Moshe certainly does. Think, just didn't plan on thinking about it so quickly.
It's really too early to think about it, that is, it's too early for these two to meet today, and that's the unfortunate thing about dating over thirty. This issue is always put on the table so quickly, so as not to "waste time", eliminating any chance of the relationship developing in a sexy, light or spontaneous way. Moshe, too, understands that Brabec was ahead of the later and cuts off the subject, because with all due respect to his anxieties, everything is his time, and this is definitely not the time for egg counting. You have to start with Izzy, you know. First of all a wedding, then we'll see.
First a wedding, then everything else. Moshe and Noam (Screenshot, Keshet 12)
Raz and Einav
Meanwhile, at the Monastery of the Silencers, Raz and Einav wake up to a morning of cultivation routine. Raz shows increased interest in creams, but in my opinion he is just trying to fill the void with something. And oh, how much space there is between them. A few silences. Einav did not believe that they would find her a match in which she was the talkative, and in this sense, the match seemed to disappoint her. She hoped terribly for someone who would take the reins for her, or at least hold the reins in his hands, or do something with the reins, just do. She clings to the little things that connect them, for example, the brilliant joke, "Robots at First Sight."
They are cute, but so furry. Have you ever encountered this unique combination of flavors of both cringe and boredom? Their conversation about how everything is going between them is actually meant to make up for a silence where nothing happens. Raz tries to encourage, he says, that they will be a little more friends and that will help them open up, and there is nothing more opening and connecting than loudly announcing a forced friendship that is planned to take place, like a real estate project. I'm all for nerds, but these two, sorry, are dysfunctional. Maybe sexual attraction would have helped here, but I find it hard to believe that there is one from her direction, after the mega-drying that knocked in front of his bed. Let's put it this way: In an ad for an anti-diarrheal drug during recess, I found more sexual tension than in this scene.
In a previous column I wrote that it would take us a while to open up to Raz and Einav, but now I find that all the patience I had for them ran out in the first chapter. Sorry, can't see one more robot dance. Dear Raz and Einav, you are really good and everything - please continue to get to know each other without the cameras. and "Weddingmi", Bhayat. It's not a student film screening night here, you can cut atmospheric shots in half.
- Wedding at first sight